Religion? Right or wrong?

Confusion over run me recently.

I'm a bisexual, and I have been both aware and open about it for quite a while now.In the case someone wants to point out it's early to "deside this" at my age, I have been a bisexual for three years now.All though short term, I've had relationships with both girls and guys. [Not at the same time of course.]
Anyway.. I've been in a long distance relationship for a while now, and it turned out that my boyfriend (only a few years older then me), found out I'm bisexual.


[The odd part is that I thought he already knew, we've been togather for a year and three months now.Which I believe is by far the longest relationship I've had, even if I didn't have alot of them.]

In any case, it wasn't until this point that I realised how seriously he took his religion.We had a conversation that lasted at least two hours, about how it's a sin, and how I'm going to hell if I don't ''turn back'' (to straight, I'm guessing?) - All though it remained on that, he wasn't threathning to leave me or anything, I'm afraid it might even come to it.

Now alright, I don't mind his religion, he can have it, and in fact I encouradge him to follow it, since it's important to him.I personaly have no specific religion, my own religion is ''made up'' I guess.. I believe in ''something'', but not ''God'', or ''Alah'' or what not, and definetly nothing like the bible.

[I'm not saying it's wrong to have religions of any kind, don't mistake me.But I found that the ones I did a little ''research'' about tend to contradict themselves.I was baptized as a baby (Didn't have much of a choice?) but.. To prevent myself from getting any confusion, my own ''god'' is simply a very supporting being that accepts everyone/everything, and isn't all powerful.Just a ''person'' to seek guidance from, I suppose.]

Anyway, I'm going off topic here so.. To be brief, my boyfriend isn't too acceptive over the topic.He says he doesn't care, but it's quite obvious by his behaveyor that he doesn't oppruve.

I know I said I haven't realised religion ment to him as much, but was it wrong of me to tell him, with out taking the idea into consideration anyways? I'm a little confused here honestly, I never had such a case.I really don't know how to handle with religion because what ever I say, seems to end up offencive to him, and as ''trashing'' of his religion.

I'm even considering telling him I have ''turned'' straight, just to end the little conflict.I'm not sure if that's a good idea, but, I'm not talking to a family member.I'm dating him, so it's not as if I'm going to date a girl (or a guy) aside, so he couldn't really find out the truth anyway.

Honestly, I would explain to him that if you choose "damnation" then that is your choice and that if he truly loves you he will cherish the time you have together and accept you for who you are. Bisexual or not you are monogamous to him and that should be enough.

I wouldn't suggest lying to him and saying that you're straight, if I'm right that will only add further anxiety and possibly guilt about not being completely honest. If it were me I'd end up growing continuously frustrated with the knowledge that I cannot truly just be myself with my significant other. (I had a somewhat similar experience with an ex not accepting my religion being different than his own...he wanted me to lie to his family saying I was catholic whilst I'm actually pagan/wiccan and it just ended up making me feel trapped and I'm honestly quite a free spirit.)

Hun, it is NEVER wrong to be yourself. I am dating a man, and I am bisexual. Just because I have a boyfriend, does not mean I can let go of who I really am, just because it doesn't seem to matter for the relationship. It does matter. Because your sexuality is part of you. And if this guy doesn't accept ALL of you, then why should you let him have ANY of you?

Honestly you need to be honest....he has a right to not choose to be with you based on who & what you really are & how you choose to live your life & your beliefs...not based on a lie just to keep him around or end a conflict.

His beliefs are based on sound reasoning just as you feel that yours are. Being tolerant of others beliefs doesn't mean that they have to believe that those beliefs are ok....it just means that one accepts that others choose to believe that way & leave them to their beliefs.

Having a close long term relationship where core beliefs are incompatible even where tolerance exists still is really a problem because the fact is that believing that your beliefs are really ok will not be a part of the relationship. There will always be a conflict there whether it's between the two of you or inside of yourself if you choose to lie about how you really believe.

Oil & water never are able to mix.....there are just some beliefs that don't mix in a close relationship even though tolerance exists & you are allowed to live the way you choose.....the fact that it still doesn't make is ok in his mind.....& to hold on to the hope that he will change into feeling that it's ok is not a wise thing on your part.

Why push a relationship that truly is incompatible?

Unfortunately it probably should have been discussed in the very beginning of the relationship, because its who you are. Nothing wrong with that. Now that it has come up...I don't know...You cannot change nor would want too.....boyfriend either accepts or does not...His choice......hard for you I know..you have to be yourself though. "To thine own self be true."

I hope things work out for you!

I see what you're aiming at, and I thought it over as well.Guilt is something I picked up just by posting that idea, but at this point on, I really don't know what to do.I appreciate the advise though, thank you.

The thing is, I'm really accepting when it comes to religion, because I find a little truth and hope in each of them.I can understand why religion is important to him, and I can understand that he was raised ''by the bible'', so to speak.

We get along great, we find understanding over each topic.I've even been able to open myself up to him, and I couldn't do the same to my therapist, who's supposedly a professional.We even passed this topic before, that's what confuses me. (We ''scratched the surface'' of it, so to speak.) The first time he heard it, he simply laughed a little.Now, I'm not sure if he "forgot" about it and simply had a bad day, or he thought I was joking when I said it the first time.

We've only talked once, and because I had classes, I had to cut this short.
I suppose I simply panicked over it, but I'm really hoping that next time we get to talk, things clear out..

Honestly, at this point, I don't know what to do.
But waiting for a while, to see how things add up, seems better then cutting off what could end up to be a peaceful relationship..

In either case, I appreciate the support and the advise.Thank you.

"To be brief, my boyfriend isn't too accepting over the topic. He says he doesn't care, but it's quite obvious by his behavior that he doesn't approve."

You and your boyfriend have a difference of opinion/beliefs. I would not lie to him; that is a lie about yourself and can not make things better, just makes you a liar. You have to decide how much it matters to you in your life. If you were to get married, you would not practice your bisexuality and you'd have to decide what that would mean to you, only. Right now that may/may not matter as you may/may not have an exclusive relationship with this boyfriend. But what he believes is his business. You don't want his religion forced on you and he doesn't want your bisexuality forced on him; I would ignore the subject or find someone else with interests more like yours in that regard.

My sexuality really brings me little importance, so to speak.As ''rude'', or ''distant'' as it may sound, I don't really care if he finds it amusing, silly, stupid or wrong or some level.Every person has cretain things they can not accept because of the way they were raised, their morals, etc. I know he too has them.

Though as I stated, I 'panicked', because at the time he seemed quite distressed by it.As for his religion, I'm more or less an agnotisk (spelling?) and I can clearly understand the importance religion takes in his life.
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We did how ever, get the chance to talk yesterday evening, and things are now more or less cleared out. ^^' I appreciate everyones support and advise though.

i did not read anything yet, just wanted to comment on littledora icon with the girl kissing the boy, so cute! id love to have a girl kiss me...now im sad.

You've known for a long time, he probably needed a little time to process the news. I hope both of you can move forward in spite of the religion thing.

You sound like a very intelligent person, so I'm sure you know that honesty is necessary here. THe problem is, in this type of situation there are several ways of being honest. Though I haven't dealt with this kind of thing myself, religion and sexuality issues like this always interest me so I do think about it. You can't talk someone out of aspects of their faith, for example he may always believe bisexuality is wrong. But, you could compromise. Here's my idea.

From how your post sounds I'm going to assume you wouldn't start dating a woman (or anyone else for that matter) while you're with him. So he doesn't have to worry about that. Even though he believes it is wrong, you don't share the same beliefs and maybe there are aspects of his beliefs you don't particularly like either. My point is, he may learn to not necessarily accept it, but deal with it. Maybe someday he'll accept it too. If you truly want to be together I believe you can find a way to compromise. Good luck

Hahah, thank you, that cheered me up a little. ^_^
I suppose so, I also guessed he's simply had a harsh day (not to mention he's extremly sensitive of his religion), so it's possible that's why he over reacted.
Indeed ^_^'
I have no interest in dating multiple people, cheating or similar.So I don't really see the point of getting upset.But as stated abowe, it's possible he was just having a bad day.Alot of people have ''slips'' when they take their angr out on someone unintentionaly; which he cretainly appologized for.Multiple times.So I'm sure there wont be much problems.I appreciate all the advise and support though. ^_^

All though being bisexual lets me joke around a little too.Somehow, he silenced down when I mentioned it gives bigger chances to him of erm, threeway. ((Teasing shy people proves to be amusing :3 ))