[BrokenBluebird]

before hand note: don't laugh please >o<

I like to dress in women's clothes, to both experiment and play with makeup in a way that is different to the norm, and I'm a guy. I just...I find make-up, cosmetics, loudboutins and females clothing has an art and elegence about it that I crave. Men are steriotypically supposed to juxtapose this, I'm supposed to juxtapose this, but I just can't.

I tend to look rather feminine in appearance, according to other people that I know, although I can't even be certain of this seeing my poor sense of judgement. You can see in my profile picture or in one of my blog links in my profile that even in my pictures I don't tend to come off as a guy.

To add to the issue; my sexuality in itself confuses me, for the most part i've just waywardly assumed I'm bisexual without even really "knowing." I do know that most of my attraction is towards guys of the same-sex and not towards females.

I can't understand my own way of thinking, and it frustrates me to no end, and even when talking about this i'm finding myself becoming flustered because...blahh i just don't know.

Is this normal? What does it mean? Any advice or anything of the sort at all would be much loved and I would be very very grateful <3

Hello Aiden

Don't worry, I doubt anybody will laugh at you for posting this. Your questions and concerns are totally normal. Reading your post put a few questions in my mind, you don't have to answer them if you don't want to, or you could just send me a pm.

You say that you like experimenting with women's clothing and makeup. Now, do you feel like you would rather be a woman in general? Or are you content being a guy, but just like to experiment with clothing of the opposite sex?

As for your sexuality, that is always a tough one. It can take years before you are finally sure of your sexuality. And being 14 years old, you don't have to put a label on yourself right away. You have plenty of time to date, to find out what attracts you and what doesn't. Just enjoy the teenage experience! I'll tell you about my "sexuality journey".

I'm 19 years old. I guess starting at 12, I realized that I was attracted to girls as well as guys. I kept this a secret for about 4 years. So at first, I thought I was a bisexual. But then I realized that I wasn't interested in sex at all. The only thing I'd ever want is a romantic relationship at the most, and even that seemed questionable. So I came out as an asexual. Then soon afterwards, back to a bisexual because people thought the asexual label was weird. About 6 months ago, I decided to be honest with myself and others, and came out as a bi-asexual. (Yes, this is a real sexual orientation!) It basically means I'm attracted to both sexes romantically, but not sexually.

I'm telling you this because even though at first I was ashamed of my sexuality because some people thought it was weird, I decided to be open and proud about my sexuality because it is a part of who I am. If others don't like it, too bad! Remember that sexual orientation is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not a choice, it is simply who we are.

[hanners]

Hey Aiden,

First off, there's nothing wrong with being gender variant. Some people cross-dress. And some guys like makeup. Who's to say that that's wrong? Be yourself, whatever that might be. You and your sexuality is your own, you should own it and be proud of yourself for who you are.

I am a transgender woman - that is, I was born male, but transitioned to female in my early twenties, and now live my life as my true self - a woman. I did that because I could never feel comfortable with myself as a guy - it was almost as if I had a guy's body but a girl's brain. Now that I'm a girl, I'm much more comfortable with myself. If this is something that you are thinking about, feel free to PM me for more info.

Good luck!

[Omers]

Hey, welcome!
I have a dear friend that I met in college. He and I met when we were wearing the same skirt outfit one day on campus. I went up, rather catty, and told him he shouldn't look better in my skirt than I do. He had the most beautiful long brown hair, neatly tucked under at the ends. He had a full beard and mustache at the time and had used different color eye liner to make the most beautiful designs from the corners of his eyes down the side of his face... He was stunningly beautiful! I wish I had had the courage to ask him to let me do a photo study of him... He would have loved it but I was too timid to ask.
Anyway, the human body is a beautiful canvas to be decorated and adorned however it best represents your true inner beauty. IMO

[Willcat]

As I see things, all that is important is being free to "be" whatever no matter what other people think. In the USA there are cities that are more open minded towards those that dont fit the stereotypical male role. I live neer enough to one such city. There is the norm to be out of the norm.

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Or are you content being a guy, but just like to experiment with clothing of the opposite sex?

That's me sort of. As from the looks of me in my sig pic below, I make for one sexy CD...LOL. At least to me I do. What other people think is none of my business. I like to dress up...as they say here in the states, in full drag.

My hope for you BrokenBluebird is to feel free to be you...as you see fit. Forget what others think, say or do, they don't live in your body.

Getting confortable and free to be, can take time, as it has been going for me. Keep post and sharing your experience here. I'm new here at psychcentral.com too, but the support is wonderful here.