[MsBunny]

When I was a baby my mom told me that I would only stop crying if it was my dad holding me. As I got older I was always closer to my mom, though. I feel kind of nervous being alone with just my dad. For some reason I feel more comfortable just having my mom in the room. I like to go shopping with her and all that and feel really bad that I'm not closer to my dad. My one friend is closer to her dad but maybe it's because her parents are separated and she lives with her strict mom and her easy-going dad seems so cool to her.

But are girls more likely to be lesbians if they seem closer to their mom? Doesn't that make them closer to girls and more comfortable being around girls- which makes them prefer girls to men and that makes one a lesbian?

If any of you guys are lesbians can you look at my first-ever post and let me know if you relate to anything I've been going through?

[Indie'sOK]

Some gay people are closer to their moms; some to their dads. I don't really think it makes a difference.

From reading your first thread, let me ask something: Let's just say that you are gay. What difference does it make? We're all people and all deserve equal treatment, and who we are is who we are.

[Orangeade]

No, I don't think being closer to your mother, or father makes any difference to your sexuality.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by MsBunny

When I was a baby my mom told me that I would only stop crying if it was my dad holding me. As I got older I was always closer to my mom, though. I feel kind of nervous being alone with just my dad. For some reason I feel more comfortable just having my mom in the room. I like to go shopping with her and all that and feel really bad that I'm not closer to my dad. My one friend is closer to her dad but maybe it's because her parents are separated and she lives with her strict mom and her easy-going dad seems so cool to her.

But are girls more likely to be lesbians if they seem closer to their mom? Doesn't that make them closer to girls and more comfortable being around girls- which makes them prefer girls to men and that makes one a lesbian?

If any of you guys are lesbians can you look at my first-ever post and let me know if you relate to anything I've been going through?

You are asking some very interesting questions. I hope you find some answers!

[Pandoren]

I think that if it were as simple as that, far more girls would be lesbians. I'm not saying it can't be a contributing factor in an "nurture" way but I severely doubt it is the sole cause of someone's orientation. I'm sure a lot of straight girls were very close with their mothers growing up and are perfectly hetero. I did have a therapist once who didn't believe anything non-hetero existed, even going so far as to tell me "lesbians are just looking for a replacement for their mother's love" but I discount her opinion because she was a bigot.

I can see how a female-orientated comfort system might cause someone to prefer female company in friends or close bonds in adulthood but I'm not sure how it might cause someone to experience sexual attraction to females instead of males. It seems like a rather drastic cause and effect to me.

I think where causes of orientation is concerned, one can think up a hundred and one possible triggers but we may not know for a long time what actually does affect us. For any one idea, there may be a hundred cases who contradict the notion. In any case, as Indie said, I personally think acceptance is far more important than conclusive understanding.

I was very close to my mum when I was young, I would follow her everywhere and even cry when she went out, I am now married, I really don't think it means that you're going to be a lesbian because you're close to your mum but as Indie said even if you did what difference would it make?

[cin1]

No.... you are not... usually a person is closer to one parent than the other

[tohelpafriend]

Originally Posted by Orangeade

No, I don't think being closer to your mother, or father makes any difference to your sexuality.

"There are many reasons women resort to women for sexual contact.

For instance, if she has rejection issues with her mother, she needs to feel affirmed by a woman.

Or as was mentioned earlier, she had a traumatic experience with a man/men that left her distrusting to the point of distraction severe enough to prevent her from achieving sexual fulfillment.

It is somewhat less frowned upon for women in same sex liaisons but still strong enough to deter the easy acceptance of this identity (lesbian)

true gender confusion comes from deep set emotional crisis and can be addressed if the individual wants to change them badly enough."

Although we don't always see our childrens' psychological issues correctly,
my daughter has been a lesbian for 9 years; but when she told me about it, she was distraught and confused, not happy at all. I strongly feel that she did have rejection issues with me, that for her the bond was incomplete somehow.
It isn't an easy issue to understand. It has been extremely painful, considering the research on shortened life-span studies in lesbian sexuality. I don't want to offend anyone here, just sharing my experience. She has ceased communication with me. Now it has become a tragedy.