[NuckingFutz]

Going through my feelings about my ex's love to wear women's clothes. When he first told me, I didn't think it was a big deal. Then everytime I would go shopping and he would come along. Everytime I found something I wanted to try on, he would call me over to the size that he wore and take all my attention until I didn't have anymore time for me to shop for clothes.

He would buy women's clothes for himself (the whole nine-yards) from panties to bras and panty hose and mini skirts and lacy tops. He started wearing these things all the time at home. Even though the clothing laid nicely on him, somehow the effect was like him making fun of women or deameaning them. A lot of people say men wear womens clothes because they are more comfortable... uh, when was the last time wearing a bra and panty hose was more comfortable than not? At one point, he tried to figure out how to make love to me while not having to take his panty hose all the way off (like I was an inconvenience). This was the point where I told him he was a freak and to find someone else who doesn't care what you look like.

I started hating him for wearing womens clothes all the time and also wearing my perfume all the time...stuff's expensive!

I really tried to love this man as a person. Although I hail as a lesbian, I have never had this issue with the other women I have dated. I dated him because he seemed gentle and confident. I found out too late that these came from his incompetence with women and his low self esteem.

Anyone have a similiar experience? Please tell me I'm not alone in this as I feel like I just dated the freakiest man on earth!

[Pandoren]

I suspect the problem wasn't the fetish itself, but his obsessiveness with it? And evidently a little bit of lack of respect? Evidently this wasn't just a fetish to be talked about at sexy time, this was something that apparently was a big part of his identity and he wanted it to be a big deal all round. So maybe not the fault of the fetish itself, but of the personality behind it?

Ah, I hope you have better luck in the future

[LiteraryLark]

He had a fetish to wear women's clothing compulsively or he didn't feel comfortable to the point of ruining his relationships. But he's your ex for a reason. Don't dwell on the past.

[Harley47]

I agree with what's been said. It is entirely possible to have a fetish and not have it completely dominate a relationship. Your ex, I believe, wasn't able (for whatever reason) to keep a reasonable handle on it. Additionally, I do agree with you that the panty hose thing you mentioned speaks to at the very least confusion in his priorities...you should come first.

At any rate, it is the past. I think it's a matter of a person, not the fetish. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope I was of some help.

My best,
Harley

[NuckingFutz]

Wow...sometimes this place is better than a therapist.

Basically what I got from this post was that I should leave this in the past (and I am ready to do that). But also that I should have come first before all his fetishes (he had several). I always seemed to have come last. Never again!