online dating sites

please post the sites you use and why you prefer them, thanks

I thought you were married, in a relationship, swinging, and fwb...what the hell?

I use OKCupid...

Why did you think that?

fwb????

likewise, as AD, I need deacronymization here, thanks

lightbulb moment hammy....fwb = friends with benefits. lol. sheesh. I need more coffee.

wow you are good... deacronymization has never been my forte.

how does having fwb preclude one from looking up dating sites? why was it a relevant post?

Friends with benefits doesn't preclude anything. Quite the opposite, actually. lol.

swinging? why did you think that? I am very conventional, I do not even have **** sex, unlike some other people who look up **** masturbators. I just have multiple partners - that is the only tiny sprinkling of unconventionality in me, if I may put it this way. No swinging.

Dr Skipper asked a reasonable question. Multiple partners? Multiple partners are fine as long as their partners are cool with it or find single men. To be sure no other person in that circle of partners gets hurts, why not join the Poly-Amourous people - they all agree to lots of partners and no ones feelings get trampled on. You can also talk to your hearts content instead of monopolizing the board.

www.polyamorydate.com/

1. In this thread, here is guy number 1, "new guy"
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=254171

In this thread, here is "european guy"
"So I have this long term (25 years old) r/s in Europe and I will visit for Christmas. His name is D. We have only been sexual a few times. Maybe 20 times total. But he was deeply in love with me for many years"

In this thread, you need assistance with picking a bday gift from "a guy"
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=254527

In this thread, you need help with ideas on masturbating with husbands'/ex husbands/friends/idk? "guy on skype"

All these guys within four days.

So my question was very legitimate. How am I supposed to follow with all these different guys that all seem to be happening at the same time and I have no idea if you're married or not or if your husband knows about all of these guys?

2. So you think that having multiple partners is somehow more conventional--as in having more morals--than a virgin trying to please herself while waiting for the right guy? Be careful who you throw daggers at. Because at least at 19 years old I'm comfortable with my sexuality and I'm damn proud I'm not just "a sprinkling of unconventional".

I do not use the term "morals" at all. I am not interested in morality talk. When I talk about conventionality, I mean it in a purely statistical sense. I think statistically people with multiple partners are more widespread than 19-year-old virgins with an*l hardware. I am probably unusual in that I have lived to almost 42 without a vibrator and you are clearly more advanced than I am in that regard.

and the guy on Skype, the one towards whom I feel maternal - he is EX husband's ex gf's first child. So no, I am not married. And I said "ex" - I am a careful writer. Plus, if you have read a single post of mine on the Bipolar forum, you should have realized that I am divorced. Why do I, an older person on Lithium, remember that you are a virgin and you cannot remember my marital status? You are 19 - you are supposed to have an excellent memory and remember every little bit of irrelevant crap that comes your way!

When I was married to my second husband, I was monogamous for a whole 12 years. So yes, I CAN pull it off.

The researcher in me is surprised that something as unusual as a diaper fetish got a lot of replies but something as basic and common as dating sites doesn't.

So I have reread your post carefully and noticed that you put one guy twice - as the "new" guy and the "bday gift" guy. It is the same person. I marked him in bold above. So I have less variety than you think. I am sorry to disappoint you. But even if I had as much variety as you supposed, how did it matter? I asked for a list of links with descriptions. That's all I asked for. No one has ever required that you become concerned with whether I have a husband and if I do, whether the said husband knows anything. It just should never have become your area of concern. Imagine I become concerned with whether your parents know about your an$l masturbators? This would be grossly irrelevant, right? Likewise, anything but a list of links I requested is grossly irrelevant in response to my question.

I think you are only fooling yourself with describing your life style as very conventional.

Okay, stop. Enough with the drama.

It's normal to express concern when things don't add up.

Do I read your posts? Heck no! You've treated me unfairly in the past for previous concerns I've had so I try not to click on your posts. I replied to this post because 1) I need help finding dating sites myself and 2) I regularly frequent Sexual and Gender issues and look through everyone's posts here, including yours, and like I said before, you posted several times here on several different guys and I wanted to express concern for your safety.

Perhaps you did not accusing me of having low morals, but I was offended by your pointed remark of "some people looking up **** masturbation". It was quite a low blow to say that somehow I was in the wrong because of what I take pleasure in and that I should feel guilty for making you uncomfortable with my posts.

I'm pretty taken aback that someone your age would write in such a way. As I said before, I try avoiding your posts and I follow very few people on PC. I follow people I know in real life like my friends and family.

True, I don't have to become concerned with your business, but you posted your business on the world wide web and asked for support, and I expressed my concerns. But I'll gladly take back the support and any future support because once again, you've shown your true colors and I have no respect for people who act so childish.

And I did offer my two cents about dating sites, but you turned your own post into huffing and puffing over why I could possibly be concerned about looking for dating websites when seeing several other men. Shocker.

that was good, thank you, and that is where you should have stopped. I do not visit your thread about an*l masturbators because I do not know a thing about them - I have nothing to contribute. I did take note that there is such a thread, so when/if I become interested in an*l play, I will know where to go, which is very good, so - thanks. But, I do not try to contribute beyond my ability. You mentioned one dating site - OkCupid - you should have stopped there, contributing relevant info within your ability. That would have been true support. I look for dating sites because I am not at capacity with men. I am at capacity with cats. My cat Tommy regularly runs away, and when he does, I have to run to the apartment, close the door so that another cat, Adele, does not run away, and then run chase Tommy. I just did, today. I still have not learned how to wheel my bike into the apartment in such a way that Tommy would not run away. Luckily, Maddy, my third and last cat, has never shown interest in running away. My apartment complex' rules allow one cat per apartment, so I am already in gross violation. Of course, I do not advertise that I keep three cats. Do I sometimes want more cats? Not really, I am satisfied with what I have, but should I want another kitty, it is just a call away - I am good friends with the head of the local cat rescue agency. But I have decided that three is my limit. I like variety, I like different colors and personalities, but there is a limit, and I have reached it. With men, I am not at capacity - I need more variety, I still have many free evenings. So, I am looking for dates. Pretty innocuous, no? And, one does not have to associate with polyamorous people for that (although there is nothing bad in that at all) - the default expectation in dating is that people have multiple dates. People TALK about going steady, after awhile. It is not a DEFAULT expectation. And who knows, maybe a person is just round the corner who is worth my faithfulness - you never know these things.

I am really glad that I am where I am in life with respect to cats - they are wonderful and I love them and I care for them and I buy the most expensive, most healthful wet food on the market for them and never give them any dry food so that they can live long happy lives well into the old age. Next I need to 1) find a permanent position 2) get more guys or, depending upon circumstances, get into a serious r/s. We will see how things pan out for me. I am open-minded.

Maybe we're all tired of your attention seeking posts. If you want to shag every Tom, **** and Harry go ahead and do it and good luck. You don't have to try and justify your actions to anybody here. I should think most couldn't care less.

I acknowledged a sprinkling of unconventionality in having more than one partner. Possibly, my having had sex with people older than my parents is unconventional, too. So, two unconventional things. But in everything else, I am conventional and inexperienced when it comes to sex. I am perfectly straight, which is very conventional. I have never had threesomes or group sex, which is conventional and inexperienced. I have never had interracial sex, which again is conventional. I have never had an*l sex, which is conventional and inexperienced. I have never used a vibrator. I have zero fetishes. I am vanilla who has never tried BDSM. So... boring, by many people's standards. I have never even learned to come from cunnilingus - how more inexperienced can it get?

So on balance if you look at the number of conventional and unconventional things, sure, I am conventional. On balance. With a couple slight exceptions.

I wouldn't say attention seeking as much as open and inquisitive. Madonna does this stuff for a living; at least hammie has a legitimate occupation.

Interesting post... Not sure how interracial and gay sex/relationships is considered unconventional - to me they are not. Also, the original question asked about dating sites:
Match.com
Christiansingles
Plenty of fish
Pinksofa(lesbian)
Meetup.com(not a dating sit but has singles groups)
Hope this helps!

I am not sure what you meant by having more morals; I do not know how you are being moral or immoral waiting for the right guy - waiting for the right guy is something you are doing for your own benefit - I swim for the same reason, because it benefits me. It is value-neutral.

Your waiting for the right guy does not make the world a better place, or a worse place.

What you do on this forum, repeatedly, does create value and does make the world a better place - say, people come to this forum feeling ashamed and torn by their fetishes, and you welcome them, reassure them, direct them to the appropriate resources (fetlife, right?), tell them that not only are they not alone, but they are far more "mainstream" (as compared to folks on fetlife, right?) than they themselves think.

Then they walk away feeling relieved that they are OK and not bad people, plus, feeling empowered to explore their fetishes for their own benefit and, possibly, for the benefit of their partners. So, you have already helped a lot of people.

I am not saying that this is all you do, this is just one example showing how you create value/make the world a better place, consistently, time and again.

This is something you do that benefits others. Or, if you eventually adopt a child - that will make the world better place and give a chance at a good life to somebody who might otherwise never get that chance. All of that is commendable.

That you wait for the right guy benefits you, since you believe that your experience will be better if the guy is right; possibly, your waiting for the right guy will benefit that right guy (hypothetically and not necessarily the case). I cannot see how it would be more moral or less moral - you are not making the world a better place or a worse place by waiting for the right guy. It is neutral.

PS

I can see how one can say that you are as important a part of the world as anybody else, so the value/benefit you create for yourself is your contribution to the common good, but it sort of gets circular; so, while acknowledging that self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, self-pleasuring, self-development are all GREAT things, I will take the standard approach that holds that people are (primarily) judged by the value they create for others, not themselves.

I once saw a vampire dating site. Not sure what that was about.