[Purple Heart]

I see having this sexuality as frustrating and complex. It doesn't help when your in a committed relationship and have thoughts of having sex with the same sex on the side. I would like to hear from people who are bisexual and how they deal with it, especially if presently in a committed relationship?

[bebop]

all I can say is it is a hard place to be in. I know the feeling all too well

Hi purpleheart,

I recently have come out as bisexual after knowing deep down for the last couple of years that this was my true sexuality. I know it can be tough when we're attracted to both sexes to feel satisfied when we're with a partner who is either a man or woman. Is it possible you could explain your feelings to your partner and see if they are able to satisfy you in a different way when your particularly feeling like you'd rather be with a member of the opposite sex? I know it sounds obvious but there are sexual acts that can be performed by both men and women so why not see if shaking up things in the bedroom helps in any way to ease the frustration - i think you'll be suprised by how well this can actually work. Other than that, you might want to try improving your self-sex life and invest in better toys/aids which may not be as good as the real thing but should hopefully help you deal with your urges.

Im sorry if i haven't been particularly helpful, but when it comes down to it, people who are in a relationship with a bisexual person should hopefully be understanding enough to help them out when it comes to sexual fulfillment - otherwise im not sure how well the relationship would work out long term.

Of course the only other option is, if you feel you wanted too, you could try and find someone whom is happy for you to have sexual relations on the side with other people. In my experience though this can get messy and can cause a lot of hurt on both sides especially as peoples feelings eventually get in the way of things.

Whatever happens, i hope you eventually feel something resembling satisfaction in your relationship/sex life and remember theres always PC if you need to come vent or want advice. PM me any time you need to chat. Good luck.

[CantExplain]

To be monogamous and bisexual certainly requires some compromises!

I love my wife and won't cheat on her.
I try to satisfy my feminine side throught fantasy, dressing up and being submissive in the bedroom.

Also, I have a girlie avatar.

[LiteraryLark]

Well, it's much, much simpler than what you are trying to make of it.

You can be a straight woman, in a committed relationship, but can still have fantasies over the cute office worker.

As a bisexual, you can be in a committed relationship, and still have fantasies over the cute office worker, but that officer worker may be a man or a woman. It doesn't matter. You can still cheat on someone just like a straight woman can cheat on a man with another man, but if you love someone, you love that person whether or not they are a man or a woman.

What people don't understand about bisexuals is that when they are in a committed relationship, they are exclusively devoted to their partner, and they aren't going to cheat on them with someone else just because they have fantasies of having sex with both men and women. Because face it, straight couples will look at other men and women all the time, but if they are devoted to each other, then it doesn't mean that they are going to go out and cheat just because they have fantasies. Everyone has fantasies of other people when they are in a relationship, whether it's a celebrity or half-naked firemen or their boss, and that's completely natural. The only difference is that bisexuals will have fantasies of both sexes.

Sexual fulfillment comes with the dating process. As a bisexual you can date both men and women and have sex with both genders. For me, I don't know who I am going to end up marrying. I have fantasies of marrying both a man and a woman. It doesn't matter to me. In the end, I'm not going to marry someone based on whose genetalia is more appealing to me. I'm going to pick the person who makes me laugh, who makes me feel loved and cherished, who is going to be my best friend and lover and stand by my side no matter what. Genetalia can't make me laugh or make me feel loved. Whoever I want to marry is going to be whoever makes me want to spend the rest of my life with.

I hope this helps!

xoxo, Dr. Skipper, 19, woman, bisexual

[Blondboy44]

I am a latent bisexual who has been married for 46 years. I experimented some as a young man before marriage, but have had no male lovers while married. I would take one now, however because of the other things going on in my life, if I had the chance. I dream about male genitalia constantly. But, I also dream about female genitalia constantly. Neither is available. I would be happy with what you do have, if I were you.

[Mordecaii]

My fiance loves that i love women , i dunno many men who don't? (actually i met one. he asked me if i liked men or women , i said both and he said "gross")... anyway . I am really so much more sexually attracted to women then i could ever be to any man , though i would never trade my fiance for another man or woman . Obviously our connection is so much deeper then sexual attraction alone. And me being in love with him so much adds to how sexually attracted to him i am .

He'd would be completely okay with me sleeping with a woman while we're together , actually he encourages it. now im not sure if i'd be comfortable with that.

i feel like it'd be the same as me sleeping with another man .

it'd be me sleeping with someone other then him and in a committed relationship like our own thats wrong.

what do ya'll think?

[Mordecaii]

Originally Posted by DrSkipper

Well, it's much, much simpler than what you are trying to make of it.

You can be a straight woman, in a committed relationship, but can still have fantasies over the cute office worker.

As a bisexual, you can be in a committed relationship, and still have fantasies over the cute office worker, but that officer worker may be a man or a woman. It doesn't matter. You can still cheat on someone just like a straight woman can cheat on a man with another man, but if you love someone, you love that person whether or not they are a man or a woman.

What people don't understand about bisexuals is that when they are in a committed relationship, they are exclusively devoted to their partner, and they aren't going to cheat on them with someone else just because they have fantasies of having sex with both men and women. Because face it, straight couples will look at other men and women all the time, but if they are devoted to each other, then it doesn't mean that they are going to go out and cheat just because they have fantasies. Everyone has fantasies of other people when they are in a relationship, whether it's a celebrity or half-naked firemen or their boss, and that's completely natural. The only difference is that bisexuals will have fantasies of both sexes.

Sexual fulfillment comes with the dating process. As a bisexual you can date both men and women and have sex with both genders. For me, I don't know who I am going to end up marrying. I have fantasies of marrying both a man and a woman. It doesn't matter to me. In the end, I'm not going to marry someone based on whose genetalia is more appealing to me. I'm going to pick the person who makes me laugh, who makes me feel loved and cherished, who is going to be my best friend and lover and stand by my side no matter what. Genetalia can't make me laugh or make me feel loved. Whoever I want to marry is going to be whoever makes me want to spend the rest of my life with.

I hope this helps!

xoxo, Dr. Skipper, 19, woman, bisexual

I completely agree with what you said about falling in love with a person not based on their gender, thats how i fingured i was bisexual when i was about 11 or 12 . a gender a race , sexual orientation , or a religon will not determine who i fall in love with, or who i want to be with for the rest of my life. Very well put ! thankyou for saying that .

[Typo]

I understand purple heart. I am in a commited relationship as well and me and bf have a very healthy satisfying sex life but I still want the sexual experiences with a woman. Bf says I can pursue women if I want but I don't feel comfy with that. You are not alone and sending peaceful thouhts your way

[ccpur369]

I love my wife .
I still miss my friends who I am often think about.
But we never have sex.

[summeryoga]

I am married and I am bisexual. My sexual orientation does not affect my marriage- I think DrSkipper said it all perfectly. (I have other issues that affect my marriage, lol)

Yep. But don't tell anyone...
No, I'm really serious. I was raised in a Christian household. If you need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me.

[likewater]

I have fantasies about women all the time. My bfriend thinks it' s a turn on.

[Free_at_last]

If you haven't actually had a bi experience, there are places on the web where you can "stick your toe in the water" via online webcams. One on one. You can even wear a Zorro mask if you wish to conceal your face.

No STD risk either...

Terri

[SpiritRunner]

I'm married, but attracted to women, it's not something I really accepted until not so long ago.....but the way it is for me, the choice is made, and I want to honor my commitment to my husband. He does seem to understand that as we've discussed it in our couples therapy.....he accepts that whatever I may feel about my sexual orientation within, I have made my choice to be with him, I do love him and am going to be faithful - I don't want to cheat. I allow myself now to have a few fantasies though.

[oldman01]

I have an issue. I'm a guy who loves women. Sex included. I wore until past December women's panties on daily basis. I also wore men's bikini underwear. I got turned on and little other thing while tryin them on and looking at pictures of them on internet being modelled. Am I bi or normal. I'm not sure

[LiteraryLark]

ummmm............you probably just have a fetish. The type of underwear you wear doesn't say anything about your sexuality.

[oldman01]

But what bout what happens when I look at and try on

[oldman01]

As in when modelled in pics too

[LiteraryLark]

its a fetish. you get turned on by it.

[oldman01]

It does more than turn me on,I'm sayin

[LiteraryLark]

Good for you. But this is WAY off topic.

[bighands]

You folks are an informed group for my question...

My wife has often told me about the romantic feelings she had for another woman before we met. She doesn't think it is common for woman with similar experiences to share that info with their husbands but I think it is very common. What do you all think? They share or keep it secret?

[LiteraryLark]

I've never been married, but it's one of the first topics we discuss when I'm dating.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by bighands

You folks are an informed group for my question...

My wife has often told me about the romantic feelings she had for another woman before we met. She doesn't think it is common for woman with similar experiences to share that info with their husbands but I think it is very common. What do you all think? They share or keep it secret?

I am committed to my H, but we "scope chicks" together. I talk about it being hard because I crave a woman at times, but I'm committed to him only, MY choice. I've cheated in the past and I'm not going to do that again.