Not exactly normal.

I can't seem to have any normal sexual fantasies.
Every fantasy I have seems to involve me seducing my partner then handcuffing them and causing them lots of pain. Anytime I fantasize about regular sex I feel angry, violated and want to hurt someone just to make myself feel normal again. I can't enjoy kissing, hugging, touching unless I am in complete control and the person enjoys what I'm doing. Usually I can tell they think what I do is weird so I just stop and hold myself back from hurting them. I don't know why I need to integrate violence into my sexual fantasies and to be frank it's become a tad bothersome for me.

What about reality?

I can't tell by what's going on in reality like Hamster says, but that sounds like typical Dominant behavior. However, it sounds like your feelings are triggered by something.

Did this arise from a past experience? Maybe something traumatic?

Some people enjoy this type of behavior, BDSM. Is it a dark pleasure, or is more of an uncontrollable urge to hurt people during sex? Maybe a sex therapist could help you sort out these feeling? Do you like this, or do you not want to have these thoughts?

Sorry I don't have any insights for you, just don't know enough about your situation.

I am not sure such thing as a normal fantasy even exists. I have heard one sex T respond to the question whether it was OK to fantasize about unprotected sex with strangers. The answer was 'sure, to your heart's content, just wear condoms in reality'. So in your case if you do not inflict pain on unwilling partners in reality, you should be in good shape.

Have you ever looked into sadism & machosism? I know some people in the BDSM world that feel they can only be sexually aroused when giving or receiving pain. maybe some therapy would help you understand how you feel?
As long as its consensual there's no reason why you can't explore your fantasies and find yourself a kinky playmate