would that count as a lesbian experience?

When I was prepubescent, I spent one winter break in the hoouse of my father's friend. His daughter was one year younger than me and also prepubescent. I liked the whole family greatly.

Every night the girl would want to hug and kiss and caress. No genital involvement. I was in general very very inexperienced and not learned in this area at all. I knew very little about opposite gender sex and nothing at all about same sex relationships. The caressing sessions were like chores to me, I.e. nothing horrible but I was glad when done.

I next saw the girl when about seventeen. At that time, I was a virgin sexually but had had kissing experiences with boys and they had been fairly exciting without feeling like chores. My friend was living with two men in a menage de trois, so was quite heterosexual atm. And then I have lost track of her.

Should I count it as a failed trial of a same sex relationship that just proves beyond reasonable doubt that such relationships are not for me? Or should I count myself as tabula rasa still, in this particular regard?

I think it was curiosity trying to figure out the world. To me it sounds like two people wanting to connect but not sure what to do and too young to know. Just my thoughts though.

Thanks. I think it was her curiosity though. I was not curious, but just trying to be nice and receptive.

HB: based on reading many of your posts, I'd say it's a safe bet that it could all be chalked up to simple childhood curiosity. Be it same or opposite sex oriented 'playing house' is just that...playing, exploring, learning, etc. When one is gay or bi, there is no lingering on these kind of childhood thoughts, unless you look back and the one experience with the same sex was the only time you could ever remember feeling 'right.'

Hope this advice helps...and Da** girl, as much as you love the men, can't you leave the women for the rest of us, lol. Just a joke, I hope it wasn't in bad taste.

Good joke!

For the background, someone I simply adored all my childhood, a bi man, told me when I was in my twenties that I simply had not begun to live my life to the fullest. He said it upon learning that I had never known the pleasures of woman to woman love.

Well, I am now in my early forties but still no progress in the direction he outlined...

Well...it is pretty amazing...to me at least

I don't think you should necessarily force yourself to experiment either - If you're not curious you're not curious.

It's most likely to do with the people involved rather than gender - if you didnt feel for her, you might come accross someone later who does make it more fun than a chore!

No, did not feel for her. Just liked her very much and wanted her friendship.

I don't think it counts as a sexual experience at all, honestly. Based on your own wording and what I garnered as to how you felt about it, you were honestly just being polite, it seems. I think at such a young age that there isn't really any sexual charge there for either of you...she very simply could've been emulating behavior she had seen on TV or some such.

to me it sounds like childhood experimentation.

I should think that would make for an easy answer
How is this important to you?

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
When I was prepubescent...

No genital involvement...


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I should think that would make for an easy answer

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George, I do not see your point.

1) You seem to say that if prepubescent, then non-sexual. But how about Lolita? Lolita was prepubescent. Also, as a prepubescent, I had fantasies about boys, relationships with boys, I liked boys, boys liked me, caresses, kisses, all beginning at age 3, so I do not see any connection between puberty and sexual orientation.

2) no genital involvement - again, you seem to be saying that it matters. Again, kisses, caresses were all non-genital. Furthermore, I had an unwilling, non-consensual BDSM experience , as I would put it now, with a boy, without genital involvement, and as a prepubescent (both the boy and I). He was a classmate, probably around age 11, in love with me but conflicted about it, and he displayed his very unusual affection by hitting me on my head with a heavy book during recess or stealing my coat from the school and dumping it in the school dumpster (as discovered hours later) so that I would not be able to go home on a chilly autumn afternoon. Hitting on the head did not involve genitals, and stealing the coat did not involve ANY body parts, genital or non-genital. Yet, everybody including our history teacher confirmed that the aggressive boy was in love with me.