I Hate Sex.

I just need to rant for a minute...
I have been married for 2 years, have a history of sexual abuse and absolutely cannot tolerate sex with my husband. I feel like I'm failing him as a wife.
I've tried bringing this up with my T but he didn't have much to say. He just validated my excuse for hating sex.
Every time my husband and I have sex, I just want to cry. I get so overwhelmed and it hurts physically and emotionally. I just can't keep doing this. Any advice??

Very gentle hugs to you Seattleskies.

I have been on that same road that you find yourself stuck on.

Have you talked with your husband about your past and how you're struggling now? If so, how did he react? Have you thought about working with a sexual therapist?

My ex-hub and I did that for a while many years ago. Of course, it was understood that my past was pretty much the reason why we were going through that. The T did provide a bit of a safety net for a little while though. To build my confidence in our marriage and reassurance that my hub wasn't just going to leave me for another woman, we focused on re-developing our listening and support skills. Paws off one another for a couple of weeks or so, to reduce my fear of pressure. That helped a bit too.

Another part (which I hated!) is that the T wanted me to get to know my body sexually and accept it. Allow myself to explore my body without feeling shameful (that didn't work for me personally). Then, we were allowed to slowly move back into our sexual relationship to hopefully refine our love towards one another & live happily ever after.

My ex-hub and I stayed together for another 8 years or so from that point. We really did care about one another & we tried. I hope that you and your husband find the tenacity and devotion to stick it out and stay with each other.

I have the same feeling. My H only gets to have sex w/ me a time or two a month. It ain't the great kinda sex either. It's 30 sec quickie sex. That will have to do for him. I simply don't like being touched.

I was raped more for more then a short time when I was a young teenager. I'm sure that has alot to do w/ things. I have a T who specializes in trauma's. She understands. After 10 months I can finially bring up sex in little bits. I hope my H and I can work together on this. have you considered finding a different T. Maybe even keep the one you have for the issues at hand, but find another for this particular issue.