[DirtyDog04]

I'm sure I'm not the first to complain about medication related sexual dysfunction, I just have a few questions to ask in general. I've lost the pride that made me feel like I could figure out how form a relationship with a girl on my own.

I'm 22 years old and haven't had a girlfriend since I was 18. It was the only girlfriend I've ever had. Back then, I wasn't on any meds, and had a strong sex drive, but she did not want to have sex (not the reason we broke up). Now, I'm a little lost as to what I should search for in a relationship. I can masturbate sometimes, but it takes a lot of elbow grease (not trying to be funny), and I have little confidence that I could sustain an erection during a sexual interaction. However, I'm still curious about girls.

The sexual side effects lead me to a lot of insecurity, decreasing my confidence overall. In a culture where it seems like everyone is trying to get laid or get drunk (I'm not doing either), how do I go about finding someone who is willing to accept me despite my problem? Is it likely that I can find satisfaction in a relationship without my fiery passion? Is it possible that being with someone in person will further stimulate me and increase my ability to do it? And finally, does Viagra really work?

[hamster-bamster]

It appears that you are suffering limited sexual side effects from your medications, in that you have some curiosity about girls and can masturbate with extreme effort. So, not all is lost but a lot is lost. Things can be worse (were much worse for me and are reported to be much worse for many others on here), but for an 22-year-old, even that seems unacceptable. While there are ways to work around the problem if you are willing to give your girlfriends lots of non-phallic attention (always a good idea, anyway), it may be hard to do even that without your fiery passion. Most importantly, it is unclear why you would want to work around your problem and look for compromises rather than attack the problem at the source, by talking to the prescribing psychiatrist and having him/her help you get on different medications altogether? It does not sound like you have explored all your options; it sounds like you "you acquiesce to defeat before you even begin." - from Kill Bill, Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) - IMDb

[hamster-bamster]

Viagra and other medications of its class work for many people and do not work for others - you would not know until you try. This is true of most psychiatric medications as well. It is a matter of trial and error. But in your case you should try to get at the root of the problem instead of dealing with its consequences.

Good luck!

[DirtyDog04]

I actually do get somewhat excited sometimes, and it always makes me feel like a hypocrite, so maybe timing will be important. But much of the time I feel almost nothing.

The thing about the meds is I'm really happy to have found some stability. Generally when I drink or stop taking them, my life starts to turn sour. I mention sexual side effects often to my doctor and she claims that I may be able to find different medications that both do their job and don't have side effects, but doesn't suggest playing with my them until I get out of school and my life gets more stable. I'm always tempted to insist that I try going off certain meds, but fear that I might insult her by going against her opinion. She's also been right about most of the things she told me, so I trust her judgement as a doctor.

In any case I really appreciate your reply. It's nice to be able to say whatever I need to and get people's perspective.