Asexuality

I would just like to inform anyone interested that there is a forum for asexuality which is a broad spectrum phenomenon which addresses the existence of a state of being called asexuality. It's when you feel little or no attraction or need for sex.
The website is called AVEN.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

It certainly explained me!!

Thanks bharani. There is so much about asexuality in human beings that people don't understand. It's a helpful resource.

love it. thanks

Aven was helpful in me learning about asexuality and how I identify as such, and the reading material is great and amazing to show friends and family who don't get it.

But guys, PLEASE be careful if you join the forums. Rarely anything has a trigger warning and I had to leave the forums shortly after joining.

How do you know whether your asexual, or just dealing with past sexual trauma? Like how do you know the difference between being scared of relationships, being triggered by sexual feelings and actually being asexual?

I guess it won't feel as traumatic. Just sort of nothing. It also helps if you know for certain that you have no past sexual trauma in your life. Maybe a therapist could have figure it out.

For me, I've had no sexual trauma. I lost my virginity to someone I cared about, and it was all fine, but the sex bored me and didn't really do anything for me. I thought that I must have had sexual trauma, but I lost interest in sex far before I was assaulted etc. I had sex many times (I was in a few serious relationships) and I never enjoyed it. Not really, MAYBE once.

I will have random sex now and again with a certain "friend" simply to see if it does anything. Still nothing. At least she knows we are just friends.

I think it is possible that someone can be a survivor of sexual trauma and still be asexual. I doubt the two are mutually exclusive. I would guess that the difference between no desire due to trauma and no desire because one is asexual would be whether or not the person with the traumatic background has worked through their issues.

Also, I wonder, is being asexual sort of like being gay in that one is born that way or is it possible that one could have enjoyed sex at some point in their life and then later lost interest? To be clear, I would be speaking of people who are not going through any medical issues, dealing with trauma, hormonal changes, or excessive stress. People who are healthy, hormones balanced, and doing well in life.

Thanks everyone. My problem is im just 18. All my sexual experiences have been traumatic and i have never had a "good" relationship. But im trying tp figure out who i am - sexually. I want children - but not sex. I dont trust men, but im physically attracted to people of either gender. Idk. I guess we will do some soul searching in therapy. thanks

All my sexual relationships had been very very bad. I won't say traumatic as I was very much aware of what I was getting into, but I always felt dirty and used. But, with this there was another reality about me, I never had thought about sex or even felt need for one. The act was conducted only to please other side who were always the initiators.
Before your traumatic experiences what were your thoughts about sex? I still fear sex because of my experiences but I also know that even before my first intimate experience I never wanted or thought about it. And all my relationships were always initiated by other side. This helped me, may be helps you too.

Asexuality is where you don't experience sexual attraction. You might be able to differentiate between the others if you experience sexual attraction (that is to say, your body reacts appropriately to other people and deep down a part of you wants to be sexually active with other people) but feel scared or sick of going through with certain acts or you feel uncomfortable with the idea. On the flipside, many asexuals do feel uncomfortable with the idea of participating in sexual acts because they are not sexually attracted to any partner, but that is not a requirement for asexuality as many other asexuals are comfortable with or even enjoy sexual acts.

If you don't experience sexual attraction, even if that does have a basis from abuse or if you find that your feelings change in the future, if asexuality is the label that suits you now, there is no reason not to use it and no one is going to fault you if another label suits you better later.

This is an old thread I just stumbled on today. The Asexual Visibility & Education Network appears to be still active. So I thought it would be worth replying to the thread so that it will cycle back through the new posts listing... in case anyone who is not familiar with that website might be interested in learning about it.