[hamster-bamster]

OK, so even though I am having fun, I have a never ending list of complaints comparing my current guy with 2nd ex H. One is that ex came with lots of sounds, like a roaring lion, and it was also visually clear when he came. I do not remember at all how ex H #1 and other guys in my life came. For some reason I do not have a good memory for this. But with ex #2 there was no doubt when he came. And I liked that.

This guy - I know that he has come because he gradually reduces the frequency of friction and at some point stops. So I pretty much know AFTER the fact but not DURING the orgasm.

I find it weird and I do not like it.

What are your opinions?

[Big Mama]

Guys are like us girls. Some of us are loud others of us are reserved. I can tell though when it is time for my H. Irregular movement says it all. I have been w/ smaller guys whom I have no idea if it happened or not. I assume it did. If I didn't here about it then it must have been successful.

[hamster-bamster]

I like a big show.

[Big Mama]

Finish and leave me alone already is fine w/ me. I have touch issues as well due to bad past experiences. So the bedroom is not my fav place to be. Or what takes place in the bedroom that is.

[hamster-bamster]

Well, first time we were in the house that belongs to his ex wife, my midwife, and two kids were in the house with us - his middle son with the midwife and the midwife's youngest daughter with someone else, whom he parents. He was quiet and I thought that it was because of the children sleeping in the house. Sure enough, he later told me that the midwife's youngest daughter sometimes has nightmares and comes to his bedroom. So I thought "OK, that is why he was quiet, that is understandable".

But then we moved to my place and I only have cats. Is he afraid of cats???

Plus, I am very loud. So he should be able to tell that it is OK to be loud.

[Big Mama]

Maybe he is respectful and didn't want to disturb the cats. or he felt bad for the cats and didn't want to make alot of noise because he was getting lucky and the cat was not. I am a cat lover to. It is weird to know kitty is watching or is outside the door waiting for you to get off of THEIR bed.

[hamster-bamster]

My cat Tommy always sits on the bed. The guy said that we would teach depravity to him. I thought that it was a weird thing to say, but... not the weirdest, I guess.

I, too, have touch issues. I love touch but I am so much afraid that it would soon stop that I cannot relax enough to enjoy it fully.

[Big Mama]

I have an aversion to touch. I just do not like it. I crave it and need it when I'm upset but don't ask for it or don't want it because I just don't want any part of it. It drives my H nuts. It is not fair to him but I was this way before we got married. Maybe not quite as bad. I would just rather be left alone. We somehow managed to get three kids though so I did allow touch at least 3 times. (Lots more then 3 times)

[hamster-bamster]

That is unusual, because thriving on touch is what distinguishes mammals from other species (along with other things such as breastfeeding their young, of course).

I basically cannot get enough. I guess I have to learn how to ask for more and more.

[Big Mama]

I nursed all three of my kids. The T I used to have comminted several times that it didn't seem to be touch that was so much the issue. I'd set in the floor durring our session and my littlest would crawl all over me. My boys are touch feely types and I don't mind. I rub backs and feet(yuck) but I have a hang up on touching adult males. I have come to discover w/ my new T that it has nothing to do w/ females it is definiately a male thing. There is certinly good reason (rape) but that feeling existed before the rape and the T is unsure of why. I don't know why either. So we most likely will not go there. My neighbor was a petafile. (sp) But the T seems to think we should leave well enough alone. If it ain't ready to come out then we are not gonna mes w/ things and make it come out. It will come out one day maybe or maybe not. So hope for the best. At least where I am right now w/ T. The T says the same thing you said. As humans we thrive on human touch and connection that is what separates us from other mammals .

[hamster-bamster]

I loved nursing my three kids too.

[Harley47]

Typically, when a guy hits that "moment," the sensitivity is so great that a reduction in friction is absolutely necessary, hence the slowing. That I would think is the only "constant" you could get as far as a tell. Like women, men vary in their "tells" as far as that goes.

[Big Mama]

I think that goes for us gals to.

At first I could barely tell with my boyfriend, he'd just slow down and stop and I'd be like, okay when did that happen lol. Which made it difficult when I was on top because I could never ever tell, so wouldn't want to stop if he hadn't or carry on for ages if he had. Was so irritating. But now I'm more tuned in to him I can tell by the subtle things I'd not noticed before it just took a bit of time to get tuned in x

[hamster-bamster]

So far he is a an absolute mystery to me. Maybe one day I will be more tuned in to his cues.

Anyway, he is happy, so I am happy. But I am 100% clueless. And that feels totally odd.

And another thing... with ex, I experienced what I called "empathetic orgasms" from both fellatio and vaginal when I felt what he felt so much that I almost climaxed with him. But how am I supposed to emphatize if I have absolutely no clue as to what is going on??

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

So far he is a an absolute mystery to me. Maybe one day I will be more tuned in to his cues.

Anyway, he is happy, so I am happy. But I am 100% clueless. And that feels totally odd.

And another thing... with ex, I experienced what I called "empathetic orgasms" from both fellatio and vaginal when I felt what 've felt so much that I almost climaxed with him. But how am I supposed to emphatize if I have absolutely no clue as to what is going on??

He might not be having orgasms. You don't honestly know him that well. Just ask him?

[hamster-bamster]

He smiles, is happy, says thank you for visiting afterwards. Enough/not enough?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

He smiles, is happy, says thank you for visiting afterwards. Enough/not enough?

My 4 year old cousin does that when visiting the neighbor's dog across the fence. You're not connecting. You don't know how he feels. I had a friend with really delayed ejaculation. It was as you say unnerving.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by hankster

My 4 year old cousin does that when visiting the neighbor's dog across the fence. You're not connecting. You don't know how he feels. I had a friend with really delayed ejaculation. It was as you say unnerving.

OK, I will ask him. I am having trouble with sexual communication but I will overcome it and ask him.

[hamster-bamster]

I finally talked to him about it. Not to find out if he comes. No, that I already knew because he would pull off a condom filled with liquid, which was evidence enough. But just to connect. He knows that he is unusually quiet. That other men scream etc. But he. Cannot scream on purpose. I said that sure, nobody needs artificial scrimmage.

He smiles during thrusting though!! This is so unusual. I told him about it many times. Each time he says that this is because he does not hide the fact that he is excited to be with me. How sweet! And no woman in his life has ever noticed that he smiles. He thinks that that could be because they did not open their eyes. I do not get it. No lady in his forty seven years has ever cared to open her eyes to notice something so unusual and delightful?

[doggiedo]

This is a great thread and with some humor- love it! I think u could probably say somethig like - hey babe, i wish I could sense what you're feeling...it would help me gauge things better. Any chance u can give me a sign - I'd love to know what you like when you like t.

Something like that. I had a bf that I just came out and old him I needed him to be more vocal so I knew what he liked when I was doing it. He laughed and totally agreed and said he'd try.

Good luck!

I like to make extra noises beyond what I actually feel in order to provide positive feedback for my partner. Usually I come outside of her though and she is able to tell when I orgasm because I ejaculate.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I like to make extra noises beyond what I actually feel in order to provide positive feedback for my partner. Usually I come outside of her though and she is able to tell when I orgasm because I ejaculate.

Yes, ejaculation is almost always a telltale sign of orgasm... except for my bipolar II friend Joe who unfortunately has unhedonic ejaculations when he has sex with his wife. I am not positive as to what the culprit is, but I think it is his Effexor. Sad, very sad.

[CantExplain]

I don't suppose I ever made much noise. But my wife always knew.

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Yes, ejaculation is almost always a telltale sign of orgasm... except for my bipolar II friend Joe who unfortunately has unhedonic ejaculations when he has sex with his wife. I am not positive as to what the culprit is, but I think it is his Effexor. Sad, very sad.

Wow, I just did a Google search for anhedonic ejaculation which led me to sexual anhedonia. This is off topic but it's amazing that women can have an orgasm without pleasure. I considered ejaculation and orgasm the synonym of sexual pleasure. Curiouser and curiouser.