At what age is it weird to be a virgin (for guys)?

Just want to say, that having read this again that you do come across as hypocritical and immature. You yourself are a virgin, you come across as someone who wants a guy to respect that about you, yet you show little respect for men who are in the same situation.

Why do I have to waste my time explaining myself to someone who's just going to reply with a snarky comment?

Because to be honest I find a lot of your posts about men annoying. It's as simple as that really.

So you're just going to stalk my posts and point out my flaws? *clap. clap. clap.*

Congratulations, you too also have nothing better to do.

It might surprise you to know that I'll make my point of view known regardless of who it is.

I don't recall replying to you for like 3 or 4 weeks. Although I will say simply saying I'm stalking your posts is a way of deflecting attention away from the fact you show double standards in how you wish to be treated as a virgin, and how you view male virgins up to a certain age.

The double standard is that for a man to be a virgin, it must mean that there is something wrong with them whether it's no self-confidence, never been in a relationship, socially awkward, or no sex drive, etc. And that's why I'm stalling, because I know that people will strongly disagree with me and guess what? That's okay! Because I know what I like and I'm not wasting my time with the wrong guy.

Plus, I've already found the right guy.

What if he's waiting for marriage or also wants the perfect first time, which hardly happens before 18?

Yeah I don't agree because you mention a man being over 18 and a virgin, as if 18 is old. Now if he was 28, big question mark. I just don't like the way you put it out there.

The thing you forget is just because someone is losing their virginity very young doesn't mean they can't be screwed in the head or messed up in other ways. You're a virgin yourself, it's a bit like a fat obese guy saying he wouldn't date a fat woman because they're repulsive looking.

Anyway you're still a virgin, and for all you know you might still be a virgin in 10 years time.

BTW I'm not a virgin myself, so this isn't out of personal bitterness, more I don't like the idea it comes across as you thinking low of men who haven't lost their virginity by 18. As if that is the criteria to judge a man. It just shows to me immaturity on your part. I'm not saying you should date a virgin, you date who you want. But you judging people on that is what I didn't like.

I will never wait for marriage. I don't even know if I want to get married. I always believed in sex before marriage because how are you supposed to know if he's right for you if you're not sexually compatible?

Why is this about what I feel about virginity? This shouldn't be about how I feel, I already said I'd never date a male virgin, it shouldn't be this big of a big deal.

Almost all those same things could be said about me though and I'm a girl. I honestly don't think that being a female virgin is looked upon positively unless one is part of a religion that feels strongly about that.

I've read other people's opinions about how it wouldn't be expected that someone with my life experience and age would be a virgin (mid-20's, have a graduate degree etc. etc.). It would be weird. It says that I've never been in a relationship, socially awkward, and while I have a sex drive, I'm very sexually confused.

I know the original point of this thread was at what age is it weird to be a virgin, but I think the real question is what do us older virgins do to even get a chance at a relationship? How can we gain confidence, become less socially awkward, and become more comfortable with our sexuality if we're constantly getting kicked when we are down?

Dr. Skipper, even though I disagree with your attitude towards virgins, I understand where you're coming from. I used to feel the same way too. I'm not sure what changed in me, though (Note that I'm not saying that you need to change your opinion or anything!) but at some point I just didn't care anymore...I suppose realizing that no one's going to give me a chance now because I'm still a virgin. But, hey, I don't think I was ready...I probably won't be for a while. But I have to start somewhere...I personally believe that I will never get a chance unless I learn how to fake NOT being a virgin.

Another point to explore...how does one pretend to be something they're not in order to even get a chance to be in a relationship with someone? I realize how twisted that sounds, but for us virgins (male AND female), I don't think there's any other choice.

This is a good point, but what if it doesn't happen even in his 20's? Sometimes it doesn't happen.

I know I'm not a guy and this isn't about me...but it relates to me personally so this all worries me. If you haven't met someone by like say your mid-20's, then how are you going to meet the right person? And then it doesn't happen in your 20's at all.

This whole thing is just a slippery slope...

Because you comments can be hurtful to people who are virgins. Especially male virgins. If you don't want to date virgins that's fine. But you've put an entire judgement on a group of people and you're still in that category yourself.

The question asked for the age I thought would be weird to be a virgin, that's what I did.

Think what you like, I still stand by my view. I think it is a huge criteria to judge a person by if sex is something of extreme value to someone. I never said it was the ONLY value, but sex is extremely valuable to me and not something I take lightly.

No offence, but how do you know sex is extremely valuable to you when you haven't even had sex? For all you know it likely turn out to be a massive disappointment and no big deal afterall.

You entitled to stand by your view and I'm entitled to think it's massively hypocritical. Seriously I'm really not trying to pick on you, but struggle with your opinion if I'm honest. But I guess that's your opinion.

Also, I would never date anyone younger than I am. I am looking for older guys around 25.

Well I've spent three pages trying to explain myself and being completely dissected and probed because you don't understand another viewpoint, so I am rather offended.

Put simply it's not the fact that you won't want to date virgins is the issue, it's the way you put it across.

And I guess I'll leave it at that.

There just isn't a nice way to say I wouldn't date a virgin. There isn't. So I'm being blunt.

Back to OP - I think you should try to find partners who do not look at this rigidly as in "you must have had a sexual debut by age X, a serious long term relationship by age Y, etc. etc." Try to stay with people who are more flexible and who want to spend time with YOU as a person rather than you as a sum total of your achievements ("losing one's virginity" is a funny expression because it contains the word "losing" and yet is viewed totally as an "achievement"="gain")

Look: in different Canadian provinces the legal age of drinking varies a bit (I think it varies between 18 and 19 - I believe the United States is the only country with such an insanely high legal age of drinking).

I am comparing the age you are talking about - the age of losing virginity - with the age of legal drinking because both the initiation into sex (a sexual debut is a much better term than "losing virginity") and the initiation into alcohol are considered milestones of socialization in this country. I do not think it is right to think this way of alcohol consumption - I much prefer the way cultures that do not have much alcoholism handle this issue, by letting young children consume a bit of alcohol on occasion within their family or extended family, and I grew up this way and have never been drunk in my life, probably - in part - because I never thought of alcohol as something that is cool, forbidden fruit, adult, or anything like this. So I disagree with the approach but state it as a factual observation - the alcohol and sex initiation are both socialization milestones in North America.

So - if it is 18 in one province and 19 in another province, that means that there is no "correct" age - there is some arbitrary line drawn somewhere. It is OK to draw some arbitrary line if you are a legislature that HAS to draw that line somewhere - the law that would:

- enable me, personally, to buy alcohol legally starting at age 14 on the basis of that I am not a candidate for alcoholism and would not abuse alcohol, but

- would disable another person from buying alcohol legally until she is 35 because she has a genetic propensity towards substance abuse and addiction and could not handle alcohol until she'd be much more mature

... would be too costly to implement - we cannot study each individual person in depth in order to determine the right, rational legal age of drinking per person.

So we draw some kind of a line because we have to.

But for an individual person to draw the line so arbitrarily is very weird, and, I know from experience, really limiting - I used to have a really arbitrary and rigid age policy - boys/young men my age only, not even a year older or younger - and that was really stupid and unwise of me. I no longer have it.

So try to stay with people who are genuinely interested in you - they'd be flexible enough not to ask for your sexual resume with dates of each milestone.

That said, be reasonable and do not wait until you are 96!

If I was younger again I wouldn't discriminate if a man is a virgin. There are women who don't mind passing on knowledge and teaching a man. The whole virgin thing is irritating especially now that my own daughters are teenagers. Most guys are over anxious to lose it and there's too much pressure on young women to lose it. Its actually no ones business if they want or don't want to engage in sex.

Probably 40, because they made a movie out of that.

I was watching 'the 40 year old virgins' on TV last night, it's a documentary about two people, one male, one females who go to america for sex surrogacy.

It's a service I am interested in getting myself, hopefully it's somewhere in Australia too.

EDIT: It's in a nearby surburb, according to google.

Does anyone else find it a little bit amusing that the criteria for weirdness is being discussed on a forum for the mentally ill.
And Doc...
sorry but I can't imagine why you thought that comment would be helpful or even relevant.
And comments on a couple of comments that I read but don't recall who posted them.
Several guys who I grew up with experimented sexually with other guys. I don't know that it means anything at all really. These were guys who went on to become ladies men, sports stars, tough guys etc.
In my teens and early twenties I knew an incredibly socially awkward guy who nailed some very desirable girls. Wish I'd asked him how he did it... that might be useful information to some.
And just to be somewhat OT...
Douglas... sorry but I can't answer your question either I don't think the age of a virgin is very interesting but the reasons for being a virgin after high school might be very interesting.

Fine, ****ing forget what I said.

"At age 18 would be a perfectly acceptable age to be a virgin"

Anybody else want to remind me that I'm an asshole?