[Cityworld75]

Hello, my guy is great, except for the fact that I am nervous to have sex and while he is willing to wait, he has watched porn movies (as most men do I suppose) and 'learnt' from them. So, he is trying to use what he has 'learnt' from the movies on me during some fooling around, which I'm not fond of at all...! I would like him to be more gentle and sweet...!!! What to do?! Does anyone else have some issues like this?. Thanks peeps

[gayleggg]

I would suggest having a talk with him about it and tell what you said here, that you would prefer it to be more gental and sweet. Maybe you could come to a compromise, your way sometimes and his other times. But communication is the best way to work these issues out.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I would suggest having a talk with him about it and tell what you said here, that you would prefer it to be more gental and sweet. Maybe you could come to a compromise, your way sometimes and his other times. But communication is the best way to work these issues out.

^This

Sounds like he's doing the best he can with what he knows and good communication could really help you both in the bedroom.

[Mike_J]

I admit that I really don't know much about women, but I do know that trying to "learn" things about making love from a porno is a VERY bad idea, you should tell him that.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

I admit that I really don't know much about women, but I do know that trying to "learn" things about making love from a porno is a VERY bad idea, you should tell him that.

This is true. Porn is about camera angles and fantasy, not reality. Many porn stars have to re-learn how to make love after ... do they retire? Quitting is probably better.

[Patagonia]

Can you talk to him?? Like everyone says, communication is best even if its embarrassing, but you both wanto be happy in the end.
Just thinking outside the box...maybe watch porn w/him & tell him what you might like & what's not acceptable. It might give you both some ideas where the other person is coming from. Just an idea though.
P

[Harley47]

I agree wholeheartedly about talking to him about it. If you're not comfortable with him incorporating these things into the bedroom, they should stop. Period. He needs to understand that porn is not a realistic representation of sex in the slightest, anymore than say Call of Duty is a representation of real warfare. It's stylized, fictionalized, and exaggerated, and is *not* a "how to" type of thing. Based on his logic here, if he can watch a porno and be fantastic at sex, then at my current state of Call of Duty prowess, I should be able to airdrop into Syria and have this whole thing wrapped up by tomorrow. An extreme analogy, sure, but you see the point?

I hope things get resolved soon, and I wish you my best.

Hugs,
Harley

[Poppy Princess]

Yeah, just communicate.

I watched Jason Bourne but that doesn't mean I can take down 3 CIA agents under a minute.

[Big Mama]

I agree with patagonia, Could you two watch the movies together. My H and I really did use porn as a learning tool. We both have only had one partner before each other. We watched it together he told me find something u like and show it to me, and I'll find something I like and show it to you. It was so SO much easier then trying to explain.
There are female friendly sites out there, meaning they contain a more gentle by nature theme. To me the female friendly sites are more realistic. Just an option. Generally speaking though porn is not advised to the average couple. And certinly not as a teaching tool. On that same note there are teaching sites within porn so that might be something to look into.

[BDPpartner]

Perhaps you could watch something more geared towards helping couples with sexual tips such as "The Lovers guide"and then progress to porn once you've got the lines of communication (about sexual likes and dislikes) up and running.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Cityworld75

Hello, my guy is great, except for the fact that I am nervous to have sex and while he is willing to wait, he has watched porn movies (as most men do I suppose) and 'learnt' from them. So, he is trying to use what he has 'learnt' from the movies on me during some fooling around, which I'm not fond of at all...! I would like him to be more gentle and sweet...!!! What to do?! Does anyone else have some issues like this?. Thanks peeps

lol when something similar to this was happening to me, I started watching porn and found one that worked for me and then my wife and I watched it together. her problem was that I had so many moods that one time something would be ok and the next it wouldnt so my wife wouldnt know which way to go.

over time, with discussion and watching porn together my wife and I were able to find that happy medium that fit both her and I, and she learned how to tell when was enough and when I needed more. we also use code words that mean things like stop right now, no thats not ok, too rough, too easy.........