question regarding intimacy

I've been in a relationship for over 3 years. I enjoy sex VERY MUCH!! BUT, I'm not good at initiating it AT ALL. I don't like to, it makes me feel weird, embarrassed and I fear being told 'no' or rejection in general. I'm also not good at showing any sort of intimacy that my partner needs. He likes the hugs and kisses throughout the day, when he returns home, when he leaves for work, cuddling, anything to that nature. What can I do, how do I change these things about myself?

I'm 37, I feel I'm attractive but, yes, not secure with myself, I suffer from eating disorders which I have under control at the moment. I have 3 kids, one in college, one who is currently detained and causes lots of stress and one little guy that is head strong but a good boy.

Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

nikki, I don't know what the answer is. I just want you to know you are not alone. I struggle with this very much. My H (hubby) is the same way and I am not a physical type of person. It does cause us some issues. We have been married 19 years and have 3 kids. It is a constant struggle to let him hug me, kiss me, or touch me in sexual ways.

Do you have a T. (therapist) I am pretty sure mine comes form an abusive past. I have been working on this for a year and a half with my current T. It is slowly improving. But it has taken alot of work to see why this is happening. Good luck.

I did too for the longest time. eventually out of panic I forced myself to act how I knew I would if I were totally brazen, sexy, and outgoing. each time I did it, it got easier. every time I did, it was me. I also forced myself to make a mental block against the fear of rejection or looking stupid. I put a wall up so that even though I "knew" I was going to be seen as stupid or clumsy or dorky...I also know that people are attracted to people who are at ease and comfortable with themselves. That shows the most in the bedroom. nothing is more sexy than a woman who feels beautiful and is confident in her sexuality. I also make the times when i'm being outgoing my time to be mentally healthy (which is my way of thinking and may be an ocd thing haha).