[balansd]

I am a 52 year old male. In perfect health. Was on an SSRI for about a month, 6 months ago. Was on Wellbutrin, small dose until about 1 month ago. Now not taking anything at all.

My marriage of 22 years is over, divorced, now with girlfriend who I love very much. She, thank god, is very sexual. During my marriage sex was almost not at all, I masturbated 10X more than we had sex.

Now I am having huge issues with cumming. I can't seem to. I can have sex forever. Ultimately I have cum a few times from regular sex - but I am talking it takes a LONG time. When I masturbate I can come rather quickly. In about 5 minutes or so.. I put a cock ring on as that seems to do something for me.

My partner is very understanding and gives me unbelievable hand jobs and oral for quite a long time. It feels as if I am about to cum, she tells me it seems like I am going to. I am trying to relax and let it happen. But it doesn't. Ultimately she gets tired and I have to finish myself off.

This is so frustrating.. Am looking for guidance, help, advice, tips, etc... what should/can I do, try, etc.... I know much of this was probably from a screwed up marriage, and then all the stress I have been under, but even when I cum it feels different. It feels like I get close and then there is a cork stopping it... Finally when I cum it feels like the cork is pushed out and that the urethra is not as wide, but the cumming feels really good when I do cum.

Any help is appreciated!!!!

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by whineandcheese

Thanks. He does know how much those statements bothered me. He doesn't see any problem in what he said. So, thus, (according to him), no problem. Our daughter's psychologist recommended that he and I come in together, but he won't do it. I've been compared to a single-parent by the her psychologist and many other people. And I really am. It took almost 10 months for my husband to take our baby out--and in the car even! But he came to where I work two miles from home because there was a special activity my daughter was attending. That was the first and probably last time for quite a while yet. I know sooner or later we'll get divorced. I'm actually surprised that we've lasted this long. He just doesn't see things my way. His way is always right. Thanks for your help.

Ann

I know antidepressants can cause this delay of release. Is it maybe that you have anxiety over needing to cum to prove your partner as good? That little head game can stop the process for me entirely.

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[Webgoji]

As Angel stated, if you are taking an Antidepressant that can cause anorgasmia where you just can't reach an orgasm, but this jumped out at me:

Originally Posted by balansd

During my marriage sex was almost not at all, I masturbated 10X more than we had sex.

Now I am having huge issues with cumming. I can't seem to. I can have sex forever. Ultimately I have cum a few times from regular sex - but I am talking it takes a LONG time. When I masturbate I can come rather quickly. In about 5 minutes or so.. I put a cock ring on as that seems to do something for me.

Unfortunately, you're partner's ... uh ... girl parts can't put as much pressure on you as you can with your hand. The first thing I would suggest is a moratorium from masturbation. Completely. Hands off Mister! No masturbation for some time and you may start to get that sensitivity back.

And again, if you're taking an antidepressant, that can also be the problem so you might talk to your doctor about that if you are on one.

[sanchez]

Stop masturbating and tell her not to start talking when she feels you are about to cum, just enjoy and relax. I feel like you just get worried once you are close to it, the more you think about it the less it will work, i know its hard to just not think about it but you must find a way. Music, touching, maybe exchange sexy words to each other to keep your mind occupied, maybe a massage.

[balansd]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

As Angel stated, if you are taking an Antidepressant that can cause anorgasmia where you just can't reach an orgasm, but this jumped out at me:


Unfortunately, you're partner's ... uh ... girl parts can't put as much pressure on you as you can with your hand. The first thing I would suggest is a moratorium from masturbation. Completely. Hands off Mister! No masturbation for some time and you may start to get that sensitivity back.

And again, if you're taking an antidepressant, that can also be the problem so you might talk to your doctor about that if you are on one.

Thank you so much... I only took anti-depressants for 2 weeks and stopped about 8 months ago.. Don't think they could still be in my system. And thanks for the suggestions of not masturbating. I am not going to anymore... My girlfriend is coming over tonight. She is working with me. But it even feels different when I come... Can't explain it. She was able to get me close many times during a handjob... but it wouldn't "pop" out... so I ended up having to finish on my own... she got tired....

[balansd]

Thank you so much to both all of you. I like the idea not to talk.. I don't think she does...

I know I am getting close, this is so frustrating. These are all great ideas...

Any other ones, techniques, etc... let me know.. Thank you!

[Webgoji]

A cock-ring can increase your sensitivity as well. Plus if you go to get it with your GF, it can be a fun little adventure. Be aware that ejaculation with one on is quite an experience.

And relax, I can sense the frustration in your words and that can cause things to ... back up.

[Webgoji]

A couple of other things:

KY Yours and Mine - that's a thing

Finally, you have to both be okay with this, but **** sex can often drive a guy over the top. However, I would strongly suggest that you follow a couple of Webgoji's rules if you go to this point.
1. Be gentle! Seriously, or she should turn around slap you upside the head.
2. Don't ever ask your partner to do something you wouldn't do. So if you both consider **** sex, then you should be ready for her to turn around and stick something up your rear.