It disturbs me of late the media in the UK bashing men who watch extreme or violent porn, almost suggesting that those who do watch violent porn or are in rough violent sex must be seriously perverted or be a potential rapist. The majority of men who watch extreme violent porn will never rape anyone or hurt anyone, a fetish for extreme sexual wants or acting out sexual violence with your partner is not a crime and if the woman is ok with this behaviour and she may enjoy it too, then why do all men get labelled as perverts?? If a woman writes erotica it is just her desires, yet if a man writes violent erotica he must be a total woman hater or perv?? Please, what a load of crap.

[Pandoren]

I can't say I've seen this in the news, but maybe I'm not paying attention. I think part of the issue is how the porn was made in the first place and that encouraging the creation of these recordings can lead to the recipient being abused or coerced etc. I think as well that when it comes to "violence", it does depend on the level and the content of violence... there's a line in my opinion between the kind of kink that involves, say, BDSM, and the kind of kink that involves smashing seven hells out of your partner and causing lasting damage. The latter is a much more dangerous desire and while as you say, the majority of men may not act on a fetish, there will be some who will and also I have to say, I'd wonder about the mentality of any person, man or woman or otherwise, who enjoyed that extreme level of violence.

Because the man is most often stronger, and he is the one who penetrates. Even the act of penetration is some of aggression. A sexually aggressive women with violent sexual fantasies will never be looked at with as much fear or disgust as a man, for the reasons I mention. A woman can't rape a man, nor does a man have the fear of an unwanted pregnancy through being a rape victim.

Watch violent porn all you like. My opinion is all porn is bad, and not for religious reasons. It desensitizes the penis and gives unrealistic expectations of what real sex is like.

EDIT: Before someone calls me on it. I'm not downplaying a man being a rape victim by another man. I understand that would be as equally as degrading as a woman being a rape victim.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

A woman can't rape a man, nor does a man have the fear of an unwanted pregnancy through being a rape victim.

Yeah she can. That's a myth.

Rape by gender - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A study done by the CDC found that 1 in 21 men (4.8%) reported that they had been forced to penetrate someone else, usually a woman; had been the victim of an attempt to force penetration; or had been made to receive oral sex.[20]

Two myths that men are not able to be raped by women include: Men always want sex, so women do not have to force themselves on men, and men must be aroused to have an erection.[25] However, much like female erectile response, male erectile response is involuntary,[26][27] meaning that a man need not be aroused for his penis to become erect and be placed in a woman's vagina; mechanical stimulation is all that is necessary. Arousal and stimulation are not the same thing. Stimulation is a physical response to a stimulus. For example, when a person steps on another person's toe, the stimulation felt is pain and there is nothing that can be done about this. Men can be physically stimulated without feeling aroused and thus causing an erection. Men can be scared and intimidated into one, especially if the person is older or an authority.[25]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/24/he...nted=all&_r=1&

Originally Posted by Webgoji

Yeah she can. That's a myth.

Rape by gender - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/24/he...nted=all&_r=1&

Not under UK law. Rape can only be committed by a man. When a woman does what you describe, it's considered sexual assault or something else, but it isn't rape. Don't believe me? Have a quick google search and you'll know I'm not BS'ing.

[LiteraryLark]

Maybe UK law. In the US rape can be done to a man or a woman.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

Not under UK law. Rape can only be committed by a man. When a woman does what you describe, it's considered sexual assault or something else, but it isn't rape. Don't believe me? Have a quick google search and you'll know I'm not BS'ing.

The lawyers can play their little games and call it taco salad for all I care. All it does is line their pockets and trivialize the trauma of the victim. The act is the same.

[Donna_N]

I think in many ways sex and violence are linked.

In sex there is the person who initiates sex, and often there is a dominant partner.

A lot of my sexual thoughts also involve violence or loss of control to some extent

[FaithlessCat]

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

Even the act of penetration is some of aggression. A sexually aggressive women with violent sexual fantasies will never be looked at with as much fear or disgust as a man, for the reasons I mention. .

I think they would change their minds if they met me online .... by day I'm the boring ole mommy dear and housewife next door but the depths of my depravity when engaging in rolepaly really almost know no bounds. If they converted my antics into porn I would be hung drawn and quartered and .......realistically I wouldn't hurt a fly !

[Patrick85]

Originally Posted by DylanP

It disturbs me of late the media in the UK bashing men who watch extreme or violent porn, almost suggesting that those who do watch violent porn or are in rough violent sex must be seriously perverted or be a potential rapist. The majority of men who watch extreme violent porn will never rape anyone or hurt anyone, a fetish for extreme sexual wants or acting out sexual violence with your partner is not a crime and if the woman is ok with this behaviour and she may enjoy it too, then why do all men get labelled as perverts?? If a woman writes erotica it is just her desires, yet if a man writes violent erotica he must be a total woman hater or perv?? Please, what a load of crap.

The majority of men who watch violent or extreme porn have some underlying issues. I have watched it. I am not going to rape anyone. But let's see reality on reality's terms here. If you think that seeing women choked and slapped is sexually gratifying, then what do you expect the world to think about that?

It is does not mean you are a murderer. But it is the same thing with video games. Playing Grand Theft Auto and shooting people in the head all morning doesn't mean you are going to do that, but it is not healthy.

Same thing here. It is not healthy so view sex that way. The only type of sex I like is when the woman has the time of her life. That is what sex is supposed to be, mutual bangin'. So it says more about your sexual health when you view that than it does about whether or not you are going to commit the act yourself.

And if you were on our side and someone asked you that question, you would be thinking the same thing too. "This guy needs to get a little help for that before he lets it consume his life."

And violent porn is pretty much rape. The girls who do violent porn are not mentally healthy for the most part. The vast majority of them (I would even say almost 100%) have had some sexual abuse in the past whether it was from molestation or rape. Do you really want to masturbate to a woman reenacting that stuff in her life?

I want to have some Taxi Driver like guy just go into one of those dens one day and take care of business. But hey, we do not have time for rational solutions!

[MistressStayc]

Originally Posted by Patrick85

The majority of men who watch violent or extreme porn have some underlying issues. I have watched it. I am not going to rape anyone. But let's see reality on reality's terms here. If you think that seeing women choked and slapped is sexually gratifying, then what do you expect the world to think about that?

It is does not mean you are a murderer. But it is the same thing with video games. Playing Grand Theft Auto and shooting people in the head all morning doesn't mean you are going to do that, but it is not healthy.

Same thing here. It is not healthy so view sex that way. The only type of sex I like is when the woman has the time of her life. That is what sex is supposed to be, mutual bangin'. So it says more about your sexual health when you view that than it does about whether or not you are going to commit the act yourself.

And if you were on our side and someone asked you that question, you would be thinking the same thing too. "This guy needs to get a little help for that before he lets it consume his life."

And violent porn is pretty much rape. The girls who do violent porn are not mentally healthy for the most part. The vast majority of them (I would even say almost 100%) have had some sexual abuse in the past whether it was from molestation or rape. Do you really want to masturbate to a woman reenacting that stuff in her life?

I want to have some Taxi Driver like guy just go into one of those dens one day and take care of business. But hey, we do not have time for rational solutions!

Why does a woman who likes violent sex have to have had sexual abuse in their lives? That's a sweeping generalization and very wrong!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Donna_N

I think in many ways sex and violence are linked.

In sex there is the person who initiates sex, and often there is a dominant partner.

In your relationship(s), there is a person who initiates sex, and often there is a dominant partner. In my relationships, discounting what you would call prick teasing but not done on purpose, we used to or are in tune with one another and nobody really is the initiator, nor is anybody dominant.

Rather than say "in sex there is", you can say "in sex as I know it, there is", and that would make a world of difference.