I did it!!! (coming out)

To make a super long story short. I'm Married and have a child. All of my adult life (since after high school) I've identified as Bisexual. And I meant it, It wasn't me trying to deny the fact that I was gay, or soften the blow...I really thought that is what I "was" (as if labels are really necessary) Over the years I've realized that yes , I'm attracted to (some men) on a personality basis...I've never felt fufilled being with them sexually. Women , on the other hand... I've been very receptive to sexually.

When I got Married , I truly did care about him. We had a lot of fun together...the sex was always just kinda "ehh" but I thought maybe that didn't matter. Well, it does matter...it matters a lot. Over the last few years I've found myself really longing to be with a woman, sexual wise and relationship wise. I'd see lesbian couples out (and even friends) and I would feel jealous...like they were lucky. Recently, it's come to the point where it really consumes my mind , and I have this dreadful feeling of living the wrong life.

My Therapist is a Lesbian. It's not hard to figure out by her appearance. While I know you can't always judge a book by it's cover...it's pretty clear. Even today, when we talked about it ...she blatantly exclaimed "Well, I look like a Dyke". Anyway, I've found it much easier to talk to her about these things...given my geographical location, and also the situation I'm in (hello, I'm Married to a Man) it's not something that comes up a lot in conversation. I told her I was bisexual a while back...she said she wasn't surprised at all. I've recently hinted that I really feel like I'm only attracted to women , and that I'm a bit confused...and today, in the beginning of the session...I said it. I forget the exact words I used ...but it all led to me saying "I'm ya know, Gay...really Gay" I've said it to myself numerous times, but this is the first time I have actually sat in front of someone and said it out loud, in a very matter of fact way. She just looked at me and shook her head in an understanding way. I sat there and beamed. Seriously, I has a smile from ear to ear...and she noticed it. She smiled at me and said "That's a pretty big smile you've got going there.." I just kept smiling. She said "Your shoulders look a lot lighter" I laughed. We then continued to talk about My Marriage (which I'm planning on addressing when I can) custody of my child...the chances of me finding a partner, being that I already have a child (she says there are lots of Woman who are either Married, or in a committed relationship with a woman that has a child). We also talked a lot about the fact that I didn't say this until the age I am now. While I admitted to being bisexual, I never had to go through the "coming out" stage when I was in my teens. Not as a lesbian , anyway. She doesn't think there is a problem with that...that all people do it in their own time, and I shouldn't beat myself up over it. I still feel weird that it took me this long to "realize" and I guess that's something I need to get over.

I have a lot of HUGE changes in front of me. I'll have to eventually tell my Husband and My family...my friends...basically start a new. One thing she said to me was "You really seem like you want to tell people" (and I do) "That's a really positive thing , and it shows that you're confident in the way you feel"...She's right I suppose. I just want to be authentic...I want to be happy...life is way too short to be anything but yourself.

As the session was ending...she said that the way I was able to say that was "wickedly awesome" and "Way to rock the 'coming out'" She had a big grin on her face...It made me feel very comfortable. I left the session feeling great...and more free. Tonight I feel a bit conflicted, but I believe that it's more about everything that now lies in front of me. Life can be scary no matter what the situation...and this is a huge deal.

Wow. Congratulations and you've got yourself quite a wild ride ahead of you considering your family situation. Dig in and I'm sure it will all work out for the best.

Thank you so much for your comment! I spent some time writing it and kinda expected a little more feedback ...after all , that's why we write these things on here...for support and such. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only Married Woman on this website in this situation. But yes, I agree... I have a whole lot ahead of me. There are some circumstance that are preventing my from acting on it right now , which is extremely hard...but when the time is right , I trust that I'll do what I need to do for me. Thanks again.

Yeah, there's not much I can say of value. I've known people that have come out while married and while it's normally a good parting of ways (no hard feelings or anything), it's always ... tough. People will blame themselves, kids are confused ... it's just a wild ride and quite a hill to climb.

But again, good luck and ultimately it will all work out better for everyone.

Waah! That's so fabulous congrats! Sexuality is really a super fluid thing but welcome to the land of the lesbians

I hope things are going well with all the family things that need to be sorted out but I wish you the best! One day, when I'm out of the closet, I want to be as excited as you are about telling people and making a new life for myself!

Best of luck!

Congratulations. I know this must be a huge weight off your shoulders.

I do second Wenoji's comment...the road ahead might not be the easiest of them. But stay strong...things have a tendency to work out for the best, in the end.

It's not something I'm particularly well versed in, but if I can be of any help, feel free to PM me.

Hugs,
Harley

There's a lot of fiction out there that always start out with at least one of the main women being straight then realizing they are really gay. I love it I think it's soo hot as long as I don't have to think about the ex husband or boyfriend.

I've had a lot of fun with straight women in the past or so I thought. It's about the time they cum when they say they really aren't straight and I have to leave in x amount of time before so and so gets back and beats me up. Makes it hotter to think that's going to happen

Congrats, I can still remember about 2 years ago when I came out as an Asexual.

Congratulations on coming out.

I would really like to say, though, I envy you your courage. You found it and I hope that it's the foundation of a lot more courageous moments.