Considering buying a sex toy.... again.

doyoutrustme · Aug 07, 2014 at 09:10 PM

I just watched the movie Hysteria, I thought of this thread, I wanted to recommend it!

AppalachianAxis · Aug 10, 2014 at 11:41 PM

Thanks again all

I have some, er, supplies on the way in the mail

. I'm OK with it, MOST of the time. I do occasionally have bad periods where I become to determined to get rid of the stuff the second it arrives in the mail. I don't feel that way often, but it does happen occasionally.

I just have to be sure to not be in one of those 'moods' when the mail gets here. Shouldn't be hard, those thoughts don't typically last more than a few minutes. So that's something I suppose

. Once it's here, it's here, and I'll be sure to wait at least a week and talk before doing anything about it.

JoeS21 · Aug 11, 2014 at 12:05 AM

I've seen the title to this thread over and over without reading it until now. I thought this post was going to be about shopping for one and I wondered to myself, "Has s/he found one yet?"

Oh boy, now that I read you post I realize it's not that simple. My impression is that it is normal for sexually active people to have a sex toy. Most people have a little box in the closet or locking bedside drawer where they keep it. Some "toys" are designed to look like something else for privacy.

I don't think it's weird or shameful to have one of those on hand. I think most people have one.

Frankbtl · Aug 11, 2014 at 02:28 PM

Hi Appalachian,
Wow!! Well done!!

And IF, when they do come, the "guilt" suddenly hits then just put them somewhere out of the way and tell yourself you're not going to use them anyway AND that they're too expensive to just throw away so you're just going to have to keep them for now.............then ride that guilt out............and if you can't, that's OK, because we're here to help you ride it out!!

We'll show it, hey??!!

And, you probably know this already

but...........it is kind of natural that you're going to get pleasure from it, there are a lot of guys out there who would whatever you hear, call it biology

Find His Prostate - Male G-Spot
So nothing wrong with it, hey??!! Go for it!!!

And, keep to that week!!! And back to us if you're doubting anything, yes??!!!

Alison

P.S. Noticed those embarrassment smileys are still there!!

Time to lose them, hey??!!

muller1209 · Aug 11, 2014 at 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AppalachianAxis

So, this is awkward to talk about, but here goes. I'm thinking of getting a dildo again.
I've got a long history with these most infamous imitations of the male genital anatomy. Years ago I broke down and got one, just too curious to not at least try one for myself any longer. I tried it and, well, I liked it. A lot.

But after I used the toy I was overcome with feelings of guilt and I immediately threw the thing away. Some time passed and I thought to myself, you know, I really did enjoy how that felt. So I got another one. Same thing, used it, felt bad about it, threw it away. Sometimes I'd manage to keep one for a week or so, but it would always be on my mind. I was always thinking, "OMG I have a dildo hiding in my room, what is wrong with me?!" I had irrational concerns such as, "If I were to die today, someone would find a fake penis in one of my drawers." And I was mortified by that thought.
So, I haven't had one in a long time. But, thing is, that 'ol familiar feeling is creeping back up on me again, and I kinda want to try getting another dildo.

I'm taking regular sex therapy lessons, learning to try and get more comfortable and more accepting of my own body and my own desires, so it plays into that. Or maybe I'm just trying to justify a hormone-fueled whim, I don't know.

What do some of you guys think? I'm open to opinions and suggestions. And please be respectful, I know almost everyone here is, but even from the comfortable anonymity of the internet, this is still embarrassing to talk about.
Thanks!

def no shame. go for it. also using toys with a partner can be fun and a turn on for both involved.

AppalachianAxis · Aug 17, 2014 at 09:33 PM

Ok, so, you all are just going to love this. After managing to keep some lubricant around for over a week without losing my cool and throwing it away, I finally bit the bullet... and tried a cucumber

.
Turns out, joking aside, that it was a good idea to test the waters with so to speak. Chiefly, what I took away from the experience was that I enjoyed it, physically at least, and I didn't feel particularly terrible afterwards. I certainly wouldn't say I felt good about myself, but I was surprisingly able to push past any real thoughts of self-hatred and just kind of move on. This is important for me as most past experiences with toying have left my in some of my absolute worst states, sometimes to the point of self-harm. So being able to just be... 'ok' with it is certainly better.
Also of note was the fact that, while it felt good, it didn't feel 'that' good. I'm chalking this up to the fact that this cucumber lacked the, er, let us say it lacked the 'oomph' of some the the toys I've owned and used in the past

.

So, there we go. Know I know a few more things. I'm more confident now that I could probably manage to keep a dildo for myself without feeling just awfully guilty about it 24/7. But now I'm wondering if I need to be spending money on a toy when I could just upgrade to a larger vegetable now and then

.

Arduous · Aug 17, 2014 at 09:45 PM

I gotta tell ya, getting some toys is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
Don't feel guilty

it's human nature to be curious. We all have needs

Aug 18, 2014 at 04:52 PM

Should I buy myself a fleshlight? I don't want to have the responsibility of hiding it all the time, so I am also thinking of just making myself a sex toy.

Any suggestions?

Frankbtl · Aug 18, 2014 at 05:19 PM

Well........way to go Appalachian!!!! Seriously breaking down barriers there!!!!!

You're going to be our guru before long with the way you're going!!!!

So when are you going to be ordering this dildo then??!!

(Just in case you run out of anything else......

)

Alison

Myotherlife · Aug 18, 2014 at 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Should I buy myself a fleshlight? I don't want to have the responsibility of hiding it all the time, so I am also thinking of just making myself a sex toy.

Any suggestions?

I tried a Fleshlight. Expensive, and I just didn't get that much out of it, and I had trouble gripping it because of arthritis. My good right hand is more useful, and a lot cheaper! I ended up tossing the Fleshlight.

Other

Aug 19, 2014 at 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Should I buy myself a fleshlight? I don't want to have the responsibility of hiding it all the time, so I am also thinking of just making myself a sex toy.

Any suggestions?

Heard of a fee fee?

Aug 19, 2014 at 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myotherlife

I tried a Fleshlight. Expensive, and I just didn't get that much out of it, and I had trouble gripping it because of arthritis. My good right hand is more useful, and a lot cheaper! I ended up tossing the Fleshlight.

Other

Haha, "tossing" the fleshlight

.

Quote:

Heard of a fee fee?

Is that what I think it means? LOL

.

AppalachianAxis · Aug 19, 2014 at 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arduous

I gotta tell ya, getting some toys is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
Don't feel guilty

it's human nature to be curious. We all have needs

Thank you for the kind words.

But there's that word again, 'need.' I have never been able to see my sexuality as a need. I've struggled against it for just too long and shrugging my shoulders and saying "Well, it's a need, what can ya do?" always felt like an excuse for my inability to keep my urges in check. I personally see it strictly as a want, a powerful want to be sure, perhaps the most powerful want there is, but none the less a want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Well........way to go Appalachian!!!! Seriously breaking down barriers there!!!!!

You're going to be our guru before long with the way you're going!!!!

So when are you going to be ordering this dildo then??!!

(Just in case you run out of anything else......

)

Alison

Thank you for the support

As for when I'll be ordering one for myself, I don't know! I know which one I'd like to order, but it's quite expensive and, well, let's say it has it's fair share of 'oomph.'

Also, I have a standing invitation from a close friend to go to an adult store for the first time. Maybe there I could buy something a bit more manageable to start out with, in terms of price and, er, size. That's what the plan is at the moment anyway!

Frankbtl · Aug 20, 2014 at 12:19 PM

Hi Appalachian.......if it's a "want"..........well nothing at all wrong with it being a "want" and nothing at all wrong with fulfilling that want

And good news about the invite to an adult store...........chance you may be feeling uncomfortable in there (but no need to!!

) and chance you'll want to be getting in and out as quickly as possible (but don't!!

), just make the most of the opportunity

And yes, just go with what "feels" right. You can always move on to whatever else you might want later..........sometimes it's about "trial and error" or just adapting.

Alison

TheWell · Aug 21, 2014 at 06:58 PM

I actually prefer going to a store to buying anything online. The problem with online is you can't tell how large it actually is. You don't want to buy something that's ummmm too large (cough)

Congrats on not feeling bad.

Just as an aside, I hope you put a condom over the cucumber? It just makes it more sanitary. You don't want to get any pesticides inside...

A second aside, you are actually better off with a sex toy than a cucumber. I would be a little concerned that the cucumber might break. You don't want to go to the ER to get something removed. (As many others have had to do) <~~~ I dated an ER nurse for a while.

archipelago · Aug 28, 2014 at 10:14 AM

Just a suggestion. I recently bought a Fun Factory toy that is brand new. It isn't quite a vibrator, more like a thruster. Medical grade silicon, rechargeable, waterproof. It is called Stronic Eins. There are YouTube informational videos. Everyone says how unusual and great this toy is.

AppalachianAxis · Sep 02, 2014 at 10:22 PM

I'm feeling very confident recently that I can handle owning a toy

I've managed to hang on to lubricant and at least one other explicitly sexual item without feeling the urge to get rid of them, even in during of my 'bad moods.'
Really, the only things holding me back now are opportunity and money. The trip to the adult store is still happening 'sometime' soon, I just don't know exactly when. I don't know if I'm more nervous or excited about it.

Once it actually happens, I'm determined to walk out with a toy purchased.
There is one other toy I know I'd like to get. It's just suuuuper expensive! And even with my new-found sense of confidence, I still don't order it because of just how much money that would be to spend on a silicone penis lol.
Thanks again to everyone who has contributed opinions, suggestions, and advice

AppalachianAxis · Sep 30, 2014 at 03:43 PM

Well, the trip to the toy store never happened (LONG story). But I AM poised to get a toy from the safe anonymity of the internet

.
I'm feeling committed but also quite nervous. Confident as I am that I'm ready to try this again. This is just something I feel like I've done SO many times before and each instance has ended in disaster. But this is something I feel like I owe it to myself to try and do.
It's odd saying such quasi-profound things when talking about a sex toy XD.

Anyway just thought I'd update!

It's more important to me than I can say that I can even just blurb about what my thought process is on here.

Frankbtl · Sep 30, 2014 at 05:31 PM

Hi Appalachian,
Like the capitals in "I AM"!!!!

And you know you can be nervous when things you want/good things are going to be happening too e.g for some people the first date with "the perfect" guy/girl.
So let's turn that into a good nervous, hey?? A feeling of pride in yourself?? A smile??

Afterall you have come so far in how you're seeing this!!! You should feel good about it!!!

So feel free to post as many thoughts as you want on here, we're behind you, we're here for you!!

Alison

ifst5 · Sep 30, 2014 at 05:43 PM

Remember there's no obligation to keep sex toys or a limit as to how many you can throw away - it's a process of discovery that can neither be rushed nor compared to anyone else's. You don't have to go for penetrative toys either - you can work your way up from electro-stim toys and rings etc. Try and keep light hearted about the whole thing, sexual experimentation is meant to be fun and regardless of whatever difficulties you might be having, sex toys are sex toys - nothing more, nothing less. Be mindful of your feelings but also how easy it is to overstate the significance of these situations. As always, i wish you well.

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doyoutrustme Poohbah Member Since Jun 2012 Posts: 1,384 11 175 hugs given	Aug 07, 2014 at 09:10 PM #61 I just watched the movie Hysteria, I thought of this thread, I wanted to recommend it!
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Arduous Member Member Since Jul 2012 Location: ohio Posts: 104 11 12 hugs given	Aug 17, 2014 at 09:45 PM #67 I gotta tell ya, getting some toys is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Don't feel guilty it's human nature to be curious. We all have needs __________________ Whatever it is..... I didn't do it.
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Anonymous33211 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 18, 2014 at 04:52 PM #68 Should I buy myself a fleshlight? I don't want to have the responsibility of hiding it all the time, so I am also thinking of just making myself a sex toy. Any suggestions?
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Frankbtl Magnate Member Since May 2013 Posts: 2,804 11 341 hugs given	Aug 18, 2014 at 05:19 PM #69 Well........way to go Appalachian!!!! Seriously breaking down barriers there!!!!! You're going to be our guru before long with the way you're going!!!! So when are you going to be ordering this dildo then??!! (Just in case you run out of anything else...... ) Alison
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