My dad abused me and I need help.

I had told my mom and dad that I would change after I came out to them because they had handled it so badly, but I don't really want to change. I was talking to my boyfriend on my phone, and my mom and dad somehow found out. My dad took me by the collar of my shirt and said he would bust my *** if he ever found out that I was talking to him again. He took my phone and a found a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing and said I was disgusting. He took me by the collar of my shirt again and shook me three times, saying that he wouldn't have a gay son. I don't know what to do. I'm frightened in my own home, and I'm completely alone.

If you are frightened in your own home and feel threatened talk to a teacher, family member, friend of the family, someone you can trust and explain the situation. Is it possible to move in with a friend or other family members?

Hello irgendwie: I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Parents can make life so difficult. I presume you're still a minor & living with your parents. Still, this doesn't give your father the right to physically abuse you. Unfortunately it does make the situation difficult because I presume you don't have anywhere else you could live.

One possible option for you, assuming you're in school would be to talk with a school counselor about this. Alternatively, I wonder about the possibility of you seeing a therapist. I doubt your father's perspective is likely to change significantly. And your sexual orientation is not likely to change, so it's probable the two of you are going to be at odds over this for the foreseeable future. Assuming that is correct, you're going to need someone to talk this through with on an ongoing basis. A good counselor or therapist could also help you to develop strategies for handling your father's aggression towards you.

These aren't the most creative solutions, I'm afraid. Hopefully some other PC members will have some additional ideas. I do wish you all the best.

I would of called the police , if your dad dose that again call 911 , Can you stay with your b/f ? Is his parents cool with it ? You need to feel safe

You don't have to change. Especially due to someone else, even if they're your parents. I wouldn't suggest you to move with someone else because I don't know age wise or if you're able to, but if the abuse continues then do seek for help!

Keep as little contact with your parents regarding the situation. Sometimes it takes time,effort and so much for someone close to accept when one in the family comes out.. sometimes they never do accept it and even if they don't, they have to respect you. If you know in your heart you are not doing anything wrong and you are at the age to be in a relationship then by all means do you, do what makes you feel happy..even if it hurts others. They will have to learn to respect you for your choices in life.

Irgendwie, you are not completely alone. For a start, you have a boyfriend, and that's great. One possibility could be to get some support from his family if that is in any way possible. Is he out to his parents? If he is, then they might be able to provide some support. If he's not, then you do still have each other whatever your parents say. They can't stop you being yourself and they have no right to even try to. You haven't done anything wrong and you do not need to change. They need to change if they don't want to lose their son, and as for your father saying he won't have a gay son, that isn't a choice he can make. He already has one and always has had. You haven't changed from the person you were before he found out - you are still the same person, and you can tell him that. Obviously, I don't know your parents and what kind of people they are usually. Do you think that you might be able to talk to them about this after they have calmed down a bit? Do you think they might be able to be reasonable if they have more time to think about it? Anyway, hang in there. You have done well so far - it's your parents who have failed miserably in this situation.

Darvula