Sexual fantasy of self

So I wasn't sure which forum to chose. I don't believe that I was sexually abused as a child even though I do have some strange vague sexual memories as a child. The issue I am having, is that when I am fantasizing during self pleasure, my mind tends to picture me having sex with myself as a child. and usually I switch between which perspective I am seeing it from, and it's usually a forcible situation. Or like I am being that innocent child. Once in a while, although I force it out of my head, my father enters the fantasy. This has all been so disturbing for me and it makes me not want to pleasure myself anymore. If you have any thoughts without calling me a sicko, I would appreciate them. Thank you.

I have something kinda like that. Sometimes the child me is a boy and sometimes the child me is a girl, but in either case, I am getting a whipping from somebody else's mom. This started when I was still a child. Whenever I would spend the night with a friend from school I would fantasize about getting a whippin' from their mom, or her putting diapers on me. Don't beat yourself up or over analyze, just accept it, and enjoy the great orgasms it brings you.

Freaky, I fantasise about me as a small child getting spanked by a maternal figure.

I agree with the above post, don't beat yourself up for it and just accept it and try to enjoy fully, in my opinion.... I have fantasies about being a child and being pressured by adult men into doing it. Not sure exactly why, although I have some idea, and I'd kinda like to keep it private (but something has happened to me in the past). I'm in a great relationship and for a while it's been bugging me that I can't focus as well on fantasizing about him while doing it... but then I have to remind myself that there's no use to put extra unnecessary guilt on myself since those thoughts do not linger past the self pleasuring act. Once I'm done they're out of my mind. At least I am able to have a good time - what I think about during the act is quite trivial.