How to say no if things don't work out?

Im pretty much a closeted male person. On the advise of my psychotherapist I've started looking for friends, not friends with benefits, just friends, people to hang out with.

Now, I've got several replies to my online ad.

What I'm worried about is that if I meet these people and if I think it's a no match, then how do I tell this to that person?

And when I do they will think I'm a jerk.... [...sigh...]

Hi Lexxinski, sorry you are feeling anxiety over making friends. Why not tell these people your feelings up front and maybe they will just cancel because what you want and what they want is not the same. There is no shame in that.

Whatever your sexual preference, including not interested in sex, looking for online ads does not sound like the right approach. Most online ads, people are looking for physical affection and not just friendship.

You are doing things to try to socialize not prove your prowess in bed. I think your therapist has the right idea look for friends, but I don't agree that online ads are the best way to find them.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central. All of these have been sources of friends but it takes time.

Glad you are joining us here. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.
http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I think it is possible to find friends online but I imagine the majority of people who go to those sites are looking for dating prospects. So I would mention in your ad that you are looking to make friends right now rather than romantic prospects. I did that on OKCupid and met a guy who invited me to attend a Rocky Horror show and I wish I could have gone but the timing was wrong. We chatted some and were friendly but he lived three hours away from me so we never did get together.

Where I live there is a singles group called SpeakEasy Singles. It is not a dating group but is people who just want to get together with other people to socialize. They have dances, dinners at restaurants, picnics and such. I really enjoy game night where we place cards or trivia or scrabble. There are some people there who are looking for dating prospects but most of us just want to get out of the house and have fun.