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#1
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I'm in a new relationship (though it's not technically official yet, we've been on about 15 dates) and I've had a lot of sexual performance anxiety so far for a few reasons:
-I'm 23 and a virgin, though I've done essentially everything else. But in the past I think a couple other guys were turned off when I told them I was a virgin. I'm a shy person in general, and I think they may have thought I was too unconfident. Anyway, I haven't told this new guy that I haven't had sex yet because I'm waiting for him to ask something where I would have to tell him. But apparently he's not super experienced anyway (though he has had sex). -The first time we kissed, he criticized me through a text afterwards and said he only gave it a B because I need to appreciate the little kisses more. I don't kiss with a ton of tongue or anything, and this to be honest has made me very self-conscious when I kiss him, to the point that I rarely initiate it. I've tried my hardest to mirror his kissing style. I don't think our kissing is a problem anymore though-- we've basically resolved this. -He brought up that I sometimes have bad breath too. Though he said it very nicely, I was embarrassed. I brush and floss regularly and always make sure to do so right before I see him, but now I've been using a ton of breath mints too just in case. Because of all these things, I feel nervous when trying to please him. In the past I've been given compliments about hand/blow jobs, but I haven't been able to make him orgasm. He has done a great job on me and is very generous, so I feel bad at sexual things. Most recently, he even stopped me because he said he was afraid I was getting tired, but I'm worried I just wasn't doing well enough for him. I almost wanted to apologize later, but I felt that would sound too insecure. I think it's that I'm afraid to fully commit to what I'm doing sexually, and to be brave enough to act confident and sure of myself. In turn, this makes me perform to less than I could. Anyway, does anyone else get performance anxiety with a new relationship? How did you get over it? |
![]() Anonymous200265
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#2
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Uhmm, he did what? And he treats you like a little dog (Yeah puppy, you did really well!) with that BJ thing.
I got a bad feeling as I read through your post. It sounds like there is a power gap between you and your partner. And I don't think that he treats you well. He's subtle with it, as for example: instead of telling you how he likes to be touched (hand and mouth) he "compliments" you, I don't feel like there is enough trust in your relationship to talk honest and without fears about how each one of you likes to be pleased. And that leads me to my next point: How do you like to be stimulated? Is your partner thoughtful enough to give you enough space for trying to find your own personal sexuality? Or is he not interested in it? Did he ever asked you if you are satisfied or - in general - is he interested in pleasing you? Did he ever let you orgasm? It's a one way thing, could that be right? You only write about him, how he should experiencing sex the best. In person I think that he is not thoughtful enough of your virginity and only thinks about his own pleasure. And maybe I am terribly wrong. |
#3
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Uh ... who? ... seriously who rates their experience in a text message!? A "B"!? It's no wonder you're having issues with an insensitive lout like that.
I agree with TheSentinel that you need to worry less (in my opinion not at all) about him and what works best for you. And personally, I think if he pulls that rating BS again you should kick him to the curb like yesterday's garbage.
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