Views of Casual Sex?

Sorry to hear about that.

Douglas and I share the same view of causal sex. I don't judge those who choose differently from me, but that's my own view.

You cannot make plans spontaneously, for anything. You either plan or are spontaneous.

spon·ta·ne·ous

/spänˈtānēəs/
Adjective
Performed or occurring without premeditation

Outside of this issue, I have reread the thread trying to form a view of casual sex, as requested, and realized that I am unable to form a view of casual sex, for two independent reasons:

1) as I am trying to grasp what people refer to by using the word combination "casual sex", I gather that the idea is that you would plan to have some sort of sexual relationship without developing more of an attachment than originally agreed upon. Since attachments and not plannable or willable and adults should know that (as a fact of life), adults should not agree to things that are outside of their control. It is like planning tomorrow's weather - tomorrow's weather is outside of my control so I can predict it, more or less, but cannot plan it. You can try to predict whether you would or would not develop a deep lasting attachment, but cannot plan to never develop such an attachment.

So if casual sex is some sort of a planned arrangement about unplannable things, then it does not exist. It is an oxymoron. That pertains to everybody.

2) Apparently, casual sex, as described here, is not fully spontaneous, in that the parties decide in advance to have it (I take it, these days it involves sending an invite for a sex date from your electronic calendar, with the list of expectations (=this is just casual, no attachments, limited liability, etc...) in the email message generated by the invite). I have never personally had such sex. Everything has always been spontaneous, not by design, but just has so happened, and I do not see how that would ever change. The ONLY time I tried to do pre-planning, on a unilateral basis: I was having dinners for several months with a guy from a dating site. Started in Dec of last year. That was my only structured, formalized dating relationship. I had never dated anybody in a structured, organized, formal fashion before. At some point I decided that it would be appropriate to have sex with him because I had determined that he is a thouroughly good guy, so I invited him over for dinner to my place, but could not bring myself to trying to have sex with him. I think it means that I personally would never be able to have non-spontaneous first time sexual encounter with anybody and thus, would never have casual sex as it seems to be conceived of. That is just my own idiosyncrasy that is of no consequence to anybody else.

I think from a man's perspective as long as you have an understanding that you don't want children or a relationship from this encounter and that you make this clear, it's ok.

As men we really don't have any say as to whether a life is created, so you have to make sure that you are on the same page as the woman you are going to have intercourse with with regards to any potential pregnancies.

You should still use condoms.