Views of Casual Sex?

I'm wondering how everyone views causal sex.... I made plans spontaneously for such things. I know with men casual sex isn't such a big deal but for women it seems that if they engage in such activities are sluts or *****s. I don't understand this. Anyway I made plans and view it as ok as long as both parties know what they're there for so to speak. That way no one is disappointed if a relationship isn't formed or whatever. I also think it's ok if you are responsible; i.e. using condoms or what not to prevent pregnancy and contracting stds or what not. Advice and comments are appreciated Thanks!

I think it's fine as long as both parties understand fully the casual aspect of it and as long as it's done safely eg with condoms etc.

Sometimes relationships can get in the way, yet still we ARE human and have needs lol. at least that's my opinion on it.

i was in a casual sex relationship that lasted for almost 2yrs.. we were friends before and still remain friends.. stayed friends throughout the whole time we just took entertainment a lil further..lol
we had the same outlook at that time that we were both not looking for a relationship to commit to and well we realized the opportunity in front of us..
and boy am i glad
although now when i see him sometimes i just cant get wants beneath his pants out of my head...
it was great and we only ended it cos i went away for a few months and met the most charming loving man and fell smack bang on the ground in love with him...
EnJoY wHaTeVeR YoU cAn!!!

I think there is nothing wrong with it as long as your not participating as a way to hurt yourself.

Everyone has the natural desire to have sex. I've been thinking of this myself but haven't found anyone.

I'm bisexual and ended a 10 year relationship with a woman three years ago. I joke that it's been so long since I've had sex I'm not sure I would know what to do anymore.

I think I would be a guys dream - I must be like a virgin again!!

Tranquility

I don't condemn you or any female who can do this and come out of it okay, but for me there is no such thing as casual sex. This is the most intimate thing two people can do together. Men seem to be able to do it and move on, while there are emotional repurcussions for women, especially from my own experience. Since I'm older, and much of my attitude has to do with my upbringing, I realize younger women in today's society may have a different mindset, but at the same time, human nature does not change so much!

Seeker, I totally understand where you're coming from. I thought about some other comments too. Not sure why I would be doing it exactly excpet for maybe I'm afraid I'm not where I should be or something. I know I'm always looking to have a good time, regardless how one gets to that end. One thing that I didnt understand was how having sex could be self harm; not saying I'm necessarily ntot engageing in that in such away but well... yea.

I agree with everyone who says it's fine as long as you are safe and remember that it is "casual" (as much as sex can be casual, as seeker said)

I guess I was in a casual relationship once like that, but the communication was horrible and while I thought that he liked me, he just wanted the casual thing, so I ended up extremely hurt. Just be careful when it comes to that and make sure everyone involved knows what's going on 100%

I guess I would say check your motives. If you want to have sex just to have sex because you want to have sex, cool. For me, I used sex to get affection that I wasn't getting elsewhere. I used to end up with someone at any party I went to. They were all friends; never did it with a stranger, but the reasons I was doing it was not for me because I wanted sex. It was because I craved affection. I craved a man's touch SO bad, that I gave them my body to get what I thought I wanted.

My days of casual sex ended up causing me a lot of damage. I recently had to do some serious work on my past sex life so that I could have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend.

Anyway, I'm just speaking from my wild child days. For me it was rough, and caused repurcussions later. For others it works. I'd say just make sure you're doing it for you and only you, not to please someone else or to get affection.

Its called friends with benefits......
snow

There is no free lunch, a price is paid somewhere always.

I've actually never had casual sex. I think it could work for some people. For me, I want sex only after we're very close. Maybe I'm just uptight I don't know. I'm definitely picky! I've actually only ever had 4 lovers. In my life! And I'm 36.... Those were all serious relationships.

I guess that makes me the biggest prude on this board. :P But I did things mostly the way I wanted to. There was only one guy whom I regret NOT sleeping with....

Sidony

joe i think the price i paid was a slighty different view with the friendship now.. althou its not awkward.. we talk a hell of alot more open but i think somewhere in that head he still wants the benefits

hey how's it going? I'm having a hard time right now with casual sex my girlfriend has had not to long before i met her. we were talking on the phone and it came up that she had casual sex with two men after a serious relationship. I was really hurt. I know that most of the hurt is coming from my own unresolved issues, but it is very hard to picture her in my mind doing the things that she and i do in the bedroom with other men. makes me feel like just another one of the guys. i'm working on changing how i feel about it though.

There is no good definition of what casual sex is so I cannot really comment, other. Than by saying that all consensual sex is ok.

I do want to comment on two things.

One.

You fall prey of gender stereotyping. Try to get away from stereotyping.

Two.

Nothing can prevent disappointments because attractions are not willable and attachments are not plannable. You can try to reduce the risk of disappointments. But not down to zero.

I don't think there's anything wrong with casual sex as long as everybody's an adult and clear about what's going on. It's not for everybody, obviously. Nothing wrong with experimenting, but just be sure you're ready for possible consequences. And use a condom (and it's a good idea to use another form of birth control as well)!

I have a problem with terms like "slut" and "skank". First of all, they're almost always directed at women, because we still think men are studs and women are sluts for having sex. Why is it so bad if you enjoy sex? Even with lots of partners? I wouldn't dump my best friend (or any friend) because they're more sexually active than I am, or choose multiple partners. As long as they're not sleeping with my guy (I like having one guy, but I'll admit to being curious to try a threesome someday or other fun stuff), what do I care? Of course I care about my friend's health, and if I feel she's doing something dangerous and unhealthy, I will tell her, but I will also support the decision she makes.

Sex shouldn't be seen as this taboo subject that it is. It's a normal, healthy part of being a human. Now that we have talk shows and books on sex, more people can get answers to their questions, when one time years ago, they'd just suffer with the problems they had. I believe religious and cultural beliefs have skewed sex and how it's accepted (or not) in society. I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that, but that's why sex is viewed as it is.

It is individual perspective. Some can handle and some can't.
As Hamster Bamster said: "attractions are not willable and attachments are not plannable" and when it is one sided that is where lies most risk.

Right. Everyone should realize, though, that the problem of unplannability and unwillability is present in other arrangements as well. Say conventional lifetime monogamy is an attempt to plan to stay attached forever. Oftentimes, these attempts fail. Just as you cannot plan to not become attached in the course of casual sex, you cannot plan to be attached forever in the course of non-casual sex. So either way, there is uncertainty and risk.

It sounds like you have a good attitude about casual sex to me. I don't think it's very likely that a relationship is formed from casual sex but who knows.

I just realized I responded to a post made 6 years ago
There should be a shelf life for threads

I'm not going to give my basis for saying this, and I'm certainly not going to give any backstory, but good... lord. I cannot TELL you how true this is.

More than you could possibly know.

Of course all of this varies based on who we are as individuals

One thing evildouble102 I will mention, just as a reminder is to make sure you are using proper protection before engaging in Sex, you cannot take chances with anyone you meet, just be really careful out there.

Thats too bad someone made you feel wrong to want sex. Like the others said, just be careful.

I don't believe in it myself. Too much room to get hurt.

Well yeah, I agree with that. To me, its part of being adult, not wanting to hurt others, so, thats just part of being careful, but good point!

I don't do casual sex, I can't fathom why anyone would even want to have casual sex. But that is me. Sex to me is THE most intimate thing I can do with another person. When I have sex with my love, I give her a part of me, I look into her eyes knowing the closeness I am feeling with her, I lose myself in the feeling of being with her. This I cannot do "casually". But again, this is just me. I can't separate the act of making love, even when we are rough and we do get rough, with the emotion of love.

Don't believe in recreation sex myself, but sometimes people are okay with that. I've gotten hurt while having casual sex, but I think the guy was a jerk instead of a gentleman. Another man (and this is the last man I was with was really sick). He liked to cross dress, was an alcoholic, and sexual positions were like dead people. He didn't know what he was doing so I'd rather not go there personally. But if you have someone who cares (good luck with that)!