[x123]

I've always lived alone, and my sexual activity has always been alone too.

Most people have different lifestyles.
- Many people have roommates or children.
- People in the military have almost no privacy.
- Many people have partners who have their own schedules and libidos.

It seems like it must be really hard to have any kind of sexual activity. On the other hand, most people seem to have lots and lots of sex.

How do you guys make it work? Do people in the military just abstain from sex or do they all look the other way when somebody needs to masturbate? It makes me think most people must have a lot stronger libidos and less shame or embarrassment from sex than me.

x123, that is a loaded question, LOL! Honestly, where there is a will there is a way. It is what it is. tc

[x123]

Originally Posted by omegalamed

x123, that is a loaded question, LOL! Honestly, where there is a will there is a way. It is what it is. tc

I suppose so. LOL
I guess sometimes I wonder what life is like for more "normal" people.
(I know nobody is actually "normal" LOL )

[Webgoji]

We have a lock on our bedroom door so when the kids would come knocking we would have an excuse to grab pants and such so we could go open the door. We also had to be quiet about it, no loud moaning or anything like that.

I use past tense because the wifey's libido dried up in the space of two weeks last year so now sex is kind of a rare treat these days.

[Saltine American]

I thought a was asexual for a very long time, although I am and always had been attracted to the opposite sex, I just never wanted to. Then I realized it was the fear of sex that was what It was. Maybe because of my severe lack of self esteem.
I've never been raped or molested as a child, so I didn't know the exact reason for this. When I started having mild manic episodes, or started drinking, which ever came first, I noticed to want physical contact more and more. But sober and not manic, I have no desire for sex. My boyfriend of almost 4 years have had our arguments, and my condition can turn into a break up or him cheating on me and I know this. But after about a year of no sexual contact, He still says he wants to marry me. Psh. We'll see how that plays out.

[x123]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

We have a lock on our bedroom door so when the kids would come knocking we would have an excuse to grab pants and such so we could go open the door. We also had to be quiet about it, no loud moaning or anything like that.

I use past tense because the wifey's libido dried up in the space of two weeks last year so now sex is kind of a rare treat these days.

Does your wife have a health problem that caused her libido to decrease so suddenly or was it a normal thing?

[x123]

Originally Posted by Saltine American

I thought a was asexual for a very long time, although I am and always had been attracted to the opposite sex, I just never wanted to. Then I realized it was the fear of sex that was what It was. Maybe because of my severe lack of self esteem.
I've never been raped or molested as a child, so I didn't know the exact reason for this. When I started having mild manic episodes, or started drinking, which ever came first, I noticed to want physical contact more and more. But sober and not manic, I have no desire for sex. My boyfriend of almost 4 years have had our arguments, and my condition can turn into a break up or him cheating on me and I know this. But after about a year of no sexual contact, He still says he wants to marry me. Psh. We'll see how that plays out.

So do you like to hold hands, hug, kiss, sleep in the same bed - just no sex? It is great that you have companionship

[Saltine American]

oh yes, we do all of that, except anything sexual. He says he understands my "issues" but sometimes he's upset that I tell him we can have sex, but I need to get drunk first and this makes him think I'm not attracted to him, but that is NOT the case. I've never met someone so understanding and willing to put up with my...crap. thank you. I would think most people would think, ya he's cheating on you. but I trust him completely.

[x123]

Originally Posted by Saltine American

oh yes, we do all of that, except anything sexual. He says he understands my "issues" but sometimes he's upset that I tell him we can have sex, but I need to get drunk first and this makes him think I'm not attracted to him, but that is NOT the case. I've never met someone so understanding and willing to put up with my...crap. thank you. I would think most people would think, ya he's cheating on you. but I trust him completely.

He sounds like a good boyfriend. I have never had a girlfriend, but I wouldn't mind not having sex as long as I could relieve my sexual frustration through some time alone periodically. Sex with a real person has always seemed a little bit scary and disgusting to me, so I can understand how you would feel similarly. Hopefully everything continues to work with you and your boyfriend.

[Saltine American]

Yes I completely agree with Sex with a real person being a bit scary and disgusting, which is why I need to be intoxicated when doing so. BUT you haven't had a girlfriend, yet. You just may/probably find someone

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by x123

Does your wife have a health problem that caused her libido to decrease so suddenly or was it a normal thing?

Honestly I don't know. Typically if someone's libido drops suddenly it's a sign of some health issue. But the doctor's haven't found anything. I'm guessing it's a combination of both psychological and physiological factors. The medication they had her on combined with her previous job have been big players I'm sure. Now the new medication may be playing into it as well possible PTSD from her last job.

Right now I'm really glad to have her back to where we're laughing and having fun again. For the last year she was just a fixture in the house once in a while. So I've got my friend back which is a great start.

I think that people in those situations just kind of find various ways of hiding what they're doing. Like, it tends to happen when roommates are out, people go in a room and lock the doors, etc. Also, most people are probably generally quite secretive about it.