I have to say my Mom has been kind of a jerk to me lately. When I first told her about my being bisexual, she actually took it pretty well. She even said something about me not having to label myself, and I was thinking things were completely fine. Then, for a while, she went into a bunch of stereotypical questions, basically thinking I'd be willing to sleep with anybody. She did kind of get past that luckily, but then she just started being a jerk about it. In an argument, she said some crude and nasty things to me about it. Luckily, she did apologize for that. However, she is saying that she feels that "male homosexual behavior" makes her uncomfortable. However, she insists she isn't uncomfortable with me, and she loves and accepts me as a person. She says she isn't going to be coolish with me or avoiding me, whatever I end up doing with my life. Today, she kept referring to it a choice. I called her on saying she's uncomfortable with me, but she said she didn't say that. She said she "doesn't want to be uncomfortable with me". Later, she says that the thought of that kind of "activity" makes her uncomfortable. Well, to put it bluntly........ then don't think about me ****ing! I seriously don't see why she should think about that. Seriously, as my mother, why does she need to think about that at all? Then, she keeps saying "choice". She keeps basically that I can make whatever "choices" I want without being shunned or ostracized by them. Well, that's good, but it's not really a choice. She also said today that she thinks that although it's true in my mind, there is some allure to the "drama" of it. That just really pissed me off unbelievably. However, she has repeatedly said this time and other times that she loves and accepts me regardless of all this.

Anyways, I explained that it's not a choice nor is it a pleasant experience for me. People say that being bisexual is like having the "best of both worlds". Well, that's not quite true for me at least. When you want to sleep with your friends, it's not fun at all. You find yourself stuck with this secret, and you can't really help it. It's no different with the opposite sex either, and whoever you are hanging out with, there's bound to be a weird sexual tension in the air. It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable at times. Plus, there's the fear of judgment of others. I finally explained that. I finally explained this to my Mom, and she seemed to get it. She basically said that's she sorry that this has been "difficult" for me, but that obviously there's nothing anybody can do about it. Well, that was a relief and good that somebody understood my situation without flying off the handle at me However, she said that it doesn't change how she feels. Well, at least she's still here. I guess I can now say that somebody gets it and hasn't been freaked out by it to the point of running away from me She said that she doesn't really like talking about it though. Well, in a way, I can see that this isn't particularly a happy conversation for any parent to have. However, it's good that at least somebody actually gets it. She's been kind of a pain, but at least she gets what's going on without flipping out on me.

[BlueCrustacean]

Sounds like she's just having a hard time getting used to this new reality, after all she's ever known or been taught about bisexuals, if anything, AND her lifelong image of you and who you are, to her. She may just need time.

Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean

Sounds like she's just having a hard time getting used to this new reality, after all she's ever known or been taught about bisexuals, if anything, AND her lifelong image of you and who you are, to her. She may just need time.

Could be, but I doubt she'll ever really be comfortable with it. She basically has told me she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, and she tries not to really think about it or "pass judgment". She says she looks at me as a whole person, and she doesn't want to fixate on or think much about this. The thing is if it's actually TRUE that she loves and accepts me as a person, and she doesn't want to judge me for this......... then things will be fine. If it actually is true that she's not going to shun me or act coolish with me, then things will be fine. Maybe I should just trust her on that.

[BlueCrustacean]

Originally Posted by Steve223

Could be, but I doubt she'll ever really be comfortable with it. She basically has told me she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, and she tries not to really think about it or "pass judgment". She says she looks at me as a whole person, and she doesn't want to fixate on or think much about this. The thing is if it's actually TRUE that she loves and accepts me as a person, and she doesn't want to judge me for this......... then things will be fine. If it actually is true that she's not going to shun me or act coolish with me, then things will be fine. Maybe I should just trust her on that.

I agree. You don't have to get absolute complete acceptance right now just to be okay, and for the most part, she sounds okay. You don't need to worry so much what she thinks of you, either way. You'll be fine regardless.

[Patagonia]

Steve223
Have you stopped to look at your moms side of the situation???
How old is your mom?
What was it like in her generation to talk to discuss any type of lifestyle that wasn't heterosexual?
Does she understand bisexual lifestyle?
Have you explained it to her?
Had she read any literature about it?
Etc. Etc.

What you might be asking her to grasp might be beyond her scope. So yeah I think you need to give her some time to educate herself, to become familiar with it & maybe you can ask her if she has any questions.
She's WORRIED! Every mom worries! It's our job. Whether it's about sex, school, career, anything! Moms want the best for their kids & we don't wanto see them suffer.
I think you're lucky your mom seems so willing to openly discuss this with you....give her a break.

[Patagonia]

Sorry I don't mean my post to be harsh & I hope it's not interpreted that way.
I'd just like all sides of the situation looked at.
I'm obviously a mom & know that what I grew up with is very different from this generation.
Times change & people need time to adjust.
I wish you the best!

Provide her with some educational materials and if she still acts this way after reading them, then there will be no excuse for her behavior and then you can decide how much you want her to be or not to be a part of your life.

One thing I've always found extremely interesting is how most heterosexuals automatically think "SEX" when talking to or about members of the LGBT Community, yet it's not what we automatically think when talking to or about members of the heterosexual community!

And, they think we're the "Odd" ones!

Something really big just happened. Nothing actually happened, but something huge changed in what this is for me and my life. There is a girl that I like, but she wasn't born a girl. I literally can say that I have never felt the same about anyone I have ever known before in my life. We don't live near each other, but we talk all the time. I really enjoy talking with her, and I think she probably has had somewhat of an idea of how I feel about her. Now, for some reason, I just came to really see it for what it is, a completely normal thing. Whatever happens here will be the answer. Yeah, I'm sure that everyone might be a little taken back. That's understandable. However, if they freak out at the idea of me talking to her, take away my phone, keep me from using the computer, or start raging........ they'll be getting a note on the kitchen counter saying I left the house and they'll never see me again........ and they won't. Hopefully, that doesn't happen, and yeah I can understand they'd be kind of taken aback at the whole thing at least right now. I'm just saying if they decide that it's time to flip, it's time for me to split.

[Patagonia]

"Whatever happens here will be the answer."

The answer to what?
The label you're trying to find for yourself? Can you just go without a label for awhile & just.....explore?
Do you have to have every answer right now?
Are you sure you wanto limit yourself like that?

How do you know things, feelings, emotions won't change in 5-8 or 14 yrs? Can you just say you're experimenting right now & seeing what you're open to.
Relax.
Enjoy. Life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.

It's just amazing simply talking to her I've never felt that way about anybody. Just taking with her on fb is amazing and utterly incredible I said some **** to my Mom about it. To be honest, I don't know exactly what I said since I'm drunk off my ***........ still I said some **** about it in there. I think it'll be alright. If not, then I'm gonna split. Seriously, nobody's gonna get away with ****ing with me or my girl. Never in a million mother****ing years.