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#1
<font color="#000088">I have absolutely no sex drive,I never get horny,or crave sex in any way.It's like losing your appetite for food,but I have no appetite for sex at all.I'm totally straight,and I've gone a little over 5 years without sex,and it doesn't even phase me. I've had friends that have asked me how I can go that long without it,and I just tell them that I don't have a sex drive,and they said that it's not normal to not have a sex drive.And I don't do things to myself either,sorry,I don't like the "M" word for it,it's triggering because of my childhood abuse.
So I can go with absolutely no sexual contact/behavior and I'm just fine with it.But others think it's not normal to be like that.That I should at least have some type of drive,but I don't.I still check out cute guys,but I don't get horny like others do. Is there something wrong with me? I always thought it was because of my childhood.But if I'm with a guy,I'll get intimate with him,but I never get off on it,I just say I do so he doesn't feel bad! </font> |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: a small locked room in my head
Posts: 7,948
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#2
Justice,
i am a guy........... but i can relate to what you are saying.... when i became ill, my sex drive took one hell of a knock....... now i struggle to preform........ but as a guy, its hard to say to loved one, that i have a headache... this is hard to write, but i just wanted to let you know you are normal, and you are not alone....... __________________ lifes a game, i no longer wish to play |
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#3
<font color="#000088"> Thanks,at least somebody understands.I was seeing no responses and starting to think maybe I was abnormal,with a capital "A"! That's why I usually stay out of this topic. I don't have anything "Juicy" to add! </font>
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: a small locked room in my head
Posts: 7,948
18 235 hugs
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#4
your not abnormal, for if you were then that would make me abnormal, and i dont feel abnormal
__________________ lifes a game, i no longer wish to play |
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#5
<font color="#000088">Good, because it seems that if you don't have some type of real juicy thing to add here. Or a really exciting sex story or something, you really don't seem to get many responses!
I just have a serious question, that I really wanted some support and answers to, but I guess I'll never get this one figured out! I asked my Doctor, and he said he had no idea why, and that the medication I'm on, doesn't usually have that side effect. So I don't know, maybe it is a childhood thing!</font> |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 941
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#6
it might be. if u have abad experience with something in the past, u tend not to go for it again.... especially as a child. u tend to link it to bad things. like i wont go to my neighbors house, coz i link it with me not being ok, me being bad and stupid and inferior... i have honestly no idea where it came from tho... idk
take care self __________________ i miss you... 'cuz the drugs dont work, they just make you worse, but i, know ill see your face again...' 'welcome friends. i am potato.' |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: AZ
Posts: 8,663
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#7
(((( Justice )))))
I can most definitely relate to this.....I lost my virginity at 21 and was with the guy for awhile after that and then we broke up. After him, I'd enjoy having random sex with friends but if I got in a relationship, my sex drive died. I'd force myself to do it because I felt it was my "duty as a woman". I felt like I was the vessel. A healthy sex life had all but vanished. I had to work through all those feelings and finally believe that my opinions about what I meant to a man sexually were false for the most part. I didn't have any abuse to work through though. Now with my boyfriend, my sex drive is alive again. In fact I actually tend to want it more often then him!!! Haha. When we first got together it started off hot and heavy and now its evened out. We have a healthy amount of sex and I enjoy it very much with him. In the past, I'd enjoy it when I was into it but I always faked it. Now, I'm finally coming into my own as far as sex is concerned. I've talked to so many of my female friends about this issue. It seems all or at least most of them have gone through a very similar period of time where their sex drive vanishes. I think for me, it was about needing to find someone I loved who loved me, for me to enjoy sex again. I really thought for a long time that I never would, but I gave it enough time and now its much better. I had to do a lot of work on this stuff though, in my 12-step program with my sponsor, my trusted friend who knows everything about me. She's not a T or anything like that, but she really helped me work through all my fears and problems with sex. I just had to pipe in and let you know that I understand. __________________ |
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
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#8
I don't think it's normal, to be honest, but I do think it's a choice whether or not you want to change it. And if you don't, the good thing is, you can find a partner who feels the same way as you, if you want a partner at all. Here's such a site:
http://www.asexualove.net/ __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Posts: 2
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#9
Hi. I also have no sex drive at all. I take zyprexa and I have also gone 5 years without having sex. I guess it's not that big a deal to me. I've had boyfriends or whatever, but I've never really been into sex that much.
Well, you're not the only one... |
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#10
<font color="#000088">I really don't see it as being a choice not to have a sex drive. I'd rather have one! I do like it, when I'm in a relationship that is intimate. I just don't seem to have the ability to get in the mood, if you know what I mean!
So I'm never the one in the relationship to initiate the sexual behavior. I just do it when he feels like doing it. Because I never feel like doing it! That's the problem! But I do enjoy it when we do get intimate,well, if he knows what he's doing,and is good at it! lol.... So it's really not a concious choice I'm making, not to have a sex drive. If I could choose, I would rather choose to have one! I think it probably does stem from the extensive childhood abuse I went through. I still haven't been able to deal with it. It was pretty bad. I may not even be able to have children because of the severity of it! So that might be the reason. It's possible! </font> |
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 300
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#11
I've read somewhere that you can improve your sex drive just by trying to have enjoyable sex more often. Something to do with the more you get it the more you'll want it or something.
I have no idea if there's any truth to it tho... __________________ If you're going through hell, keep going.... (Churchill) |
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