[SomethingWitty]

I'll just get right to it, I have a very embarrassing fetish that I guess falls under 'feederism'. Even though it has a predominantly straight following, I'm a gay guy who's into it. It involves getting off on other people gaining weight or gaining weight yourself. I absolutely hate it. There is such a massive stigma for this particular fetish and I understand why. Obesity is extremely unhealthy and would be repellant under normal circumstances.

Also, due to my own carelessness, my sister found certain content on my computer that was related to this fetish, and she told her friends and the rest of the family. A lot of people brand me disgusting, perverted and sick. And I agree with them! I think my brain has been warped somehow, and that I'm inherently bad.

I wish that I was into more mainstream kinky stuff even, like whips and chains and all that, at least you can leave that in the bedroom. This insidious fetish permeates your whole life, and I've been seriously negatively affected by the judgements of others once they found out.

I know that fetishes don't really go away with time, so I've even been suicidal over this. Can someone offer any advice?
Thanks.

[Patagonia]

I'm sorry to hear about this. I'm sorry that your sister decided to "out" you to family & friends. That's just horrible.

I don't understand fetishes that well. I understand mine & that I'm still exploring them, but where they come from.....well I'll leave that to science.
I do know everyone is different & the world of kink & fetishes is a bit mysterious. Luckily we have the Internet to help us realize we're not alone.
And I'd say you're not alone. I've heard about your fetish before & have read about it. So it's different from others. Yes.
But whips & chains can also make others run away too. Many do not understand & are quick to judge.
Stop judging yourself according to others. Live in your skin. Bec no one else fits in it!

Wish you the best.

[Skeezyks]

Hello SomethingWitty: I'm not familiar with this fetish. Perhaps, as a result, I don't really understand what's so awful about it. There certainly are lots of different fetishes out there.

I've struggled with my own fetish-like behaviors in years past. Thankfully, as I have aged & my life circumstances have changed, they have gone by the wayside. I don't know if this is typical or not. For me, one of the things that was most helpful, I think, was simply that when my living arrangements changed such that I could no longer pursue my fetish-like behaviors, they seemed to dissolve. I don't know how often that occurs.

I've read that fetishes can't be removed. So maybe what was going on with me was not a true fetish. I don't know. I've never talked to anyone about it... & never was outed, either accidentally or on purpose. I'm so sorry you were. That was despicable.

By the way, I have (& still do) struggle with suicidality. In fact I've made 2 serious attempts previously. Feeling suicidal is nothing to ignore or mess around with. If you can, please reach out to someone, in real life, for support.

[SomethingWitty]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello SomethingWitty: I'm not familiar with this fetish. Perhaps, as a result, I don't really understand what's so awful about it. There certainly are lots of different fetishes out there.

I've struggled with my own fetish-like behaviors in years past. Thankfully, as I have aged & my life circumstances have changed, they have gone by the wayside. I don't know if this is typical or not. For me, one of the things that was most helpful, I think, was simply that when my living arrangements changed such that I could no longer pursue my fetish-like behaviors, they seemed to dissolve. I don't know how often that occurs.

I've read that fetishes can't be removed. So maybe what was going on with me was not a true fetish. I don't know. I've never talked to anyone about it... & never was outed, either accidentally or on purpose. I'm so sorry you were. That was despicable.

By the way, I have (& still do) struggle with suicidality. In fact I've made 2 serious attempts previously. Feeling suicidal is nothing to ignore or mess around with. If you can, please reach out to someone, in real life, for support.

The reason I find it so awful I guess is because of the amount of shaming I've been through since people found out. It has negatively affected my relationships and it's just really tough to accept. I just want to be normal.

[Patagonia]

If you were hanging out w/people that understood the fetish then you'd feel normal.
So maybe this is about "location". Time to find some like minded people, but you'll have to search.