[black-roses]

"theres just some things that create crossroads in my mind because especially when it comes to anything sexualized i feel afraid of like i will be burnt at the stake for being sexual" I said this in a chat to my sister, I applied to be a camgirl because there is no jobs available but I have mixed emotions I felt happy but then I felt sad. Sad because I let what people feel about sexuality and sex and morals bother me. That influences my decisions the truth is I am not a ***** and I don't think anyone is really the body is a beautiful and complicated organ. I just wish that I didn't let what people thought of me define who i am and what i am. In all this I was desperate for work and I thinking of using this for good it will help me sometimes in life we have to take the only job is available and you won't believe how hard I tried to get a job to get nothing. In the same tokken I think this would be very fun and I pray to god that somehow I can get a hold of my confliction beliefs and feelings. Even forgive myself for believing sex etc is wrong. Forgiveness for being ashamed at my body forgiveness in general towards myself. All I hope is that at least I can get some confidence out of this.

[Tsukiko]

Why would you believe that being a camgirl is your only job option?

[Artchic528]

I'm in agreement with Tsukiko here. Why would you even want that kind of attention anyways? I mean, I can't understand it. You're such a smart, talented person. How many places have you applied to (besides the webcam place)? I am told that if at first you don't get the job you want, you need to be persistent and apply again and again at that place until they hire you. I'm sure that you are giving into your insecurities too easily and have low self esteem at the moment. I sure do that a lot myself. However, I would never go around dancing naked in front of a web camera for some perverted old men to get their jollies off.

I honestly don't know why you allow yourself to garner such attention from people when you've clearly said before that you hate that kind of attention and are always bombarded by it. Camming will only make those encounters 100 times worse.

[black-roses]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

I'm in agreement with Tsukiko here. Why would you even want that kind of attention anyways? I mean, I can't understand it. You're such a smart, talented person. How many places have you applied to (besides the webcam place)? I am told that if at first you don't get the job you want, you need to be persistent and apply again and again at that place until they hire you. I'm sure that you are giving into your insecurities too easily and have low self esteem at the moment. I sure do that a lot myself. However, I would never go around dancing naked in front of a web camera for some perverted old men to get their jollies off.

I honestly don't know why you allow yourself to garner such attention from people when you've clearly said before that you hate that kind of attention and are always bombarded by it. Camming will only make those encounters 100 times worse.

I am not going to be camming naked but I have tried applying to other places I just get no replies. I also updated my resume but I don't know how good it is. I mean I put all the things I am good at. I know in my heart thats not all I am good at I am just going to try it for a few days to see how I feel.

[black-roses]

I also know I would love to work with animals as well as the many other things I wanna do. Sigh, I just got sad and made a rash decision applying when I wasn't thinking straight

[Tsukiko]

To be honest, I understand the appeal of camming. As someone who was once young, deeply lonely, and struggling with deep sexual issues, I know how good the attention feels. I also know that the pay is awesome if you're good at it. The experience is fun sometimes. However, camming shouldn't be a career, and it shouldn't be the only option you think you have. You have a world in front of you and you can be and do anything you want. Also don't let your sexuality get so rapped up in camming that you cant express it unless you're exposing yourself to people through a camera. You deserve to feel positively and think in a healthy manner about your sexuality and your body.

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[black-roses]

yes thats true thank you

Not to raise the ire of anyone, but just to bring up both sides of the equation, some people who do camming do it because they fully choose to do so over other job options. Just because someone chooses to do it doesn't mean they have low self-esteem. I worked with an RN who was a dancer/cocktail waitress through college (she didn't strip, they were in bikinis, I was there). She worked one night a week, and made enough in tips to where she was able to support herself and graduate without student loans. And she liked it.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, or everyone's outcome. And black-roses, if you are not feeling fully into doing this, and don't like that kind of attention then it probably isn't a good choice for you because you do deserve to feel positively about your sexuality. And you kind of have to like the attention or at least be really good at pretending you do to keep someone tuned to your cam so that you make the $$. I'm just saying that doing it, if you want to, doesn't make you a bad person with low self-esteem just because other people would choose not to.

[Artchic528]

I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around actually enjoying turning on lecherous old men. I just can't.

[black-roses]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around actually enjoying turning on lecherous old men. I just can't.

Most of these ones aren't old but then again I haven't become that popular yet to know. I had 20 at the most on my first show

[Tsukiko]

This. I absolutely second.

Originally Posted by Ruari

Not to raise the ire of anyone, but just to bring up both sides of the equation, some people who do camming do it because they fully choose to do so over other job options. Just because someone chooses to do it doesn't mean they have low self-esteem. I worked with an RN who was a dancer/cocktail waitress through college (she didn't strip, they were in bikinis, I was there). She worked one night a week, and made enough in tips to where she was able to support herself and graduate without student loans. And she liked it.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, or everyone's outcome. And black-roses, if you are not feeling fully into doing this, and don't like that kind of attention then it probably isn't a good choice for you because you do deserve to feel positively about your sexuality. And you kind of have to like the attention or at least be really good at pretending you do to keep someone tuned to your cam so that you make the $$. I'm just saying that doing it, if you want to, doesn't make you a bad person with low self-esteem just because other people would choose not to.

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[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by Tsukiko

Why would you believe that being a camgirl is your only job option?

I agree with Tsukiko too, I think you want to freely express your sexuality without judgement, but going about it being a cam girl may not be the solution unless that is how you want to express yourself.

Personally do what you want what makes you happy, if you think doing this makes you happy no one judging you should bother your choices you make.

Just find any means that's respectful for you and others and do that without any doubts.

[black-roses]

I found a solution to this I could instead file out an application and let artists draw me naked its a win- win for me and them plus I LOVE NUDE ART I LOVE DRAWING PEOPLE NUDE. I will love to draw myself nude it be great

[Prism Bunny]

Originally Posted by Ruari

Not to raise the ire of anyone, but just to bring up both sides of the equation, some people who do camming do it because they fully choose to do so over other job options. Just because someone chooses to do it doesn't mean they have low self-esteem. I worked with an RN who was a dancer/cocktail waitress through college (she didn't strip, they were in bikinis, I was there). She worked one night a week, and made enough in tips to where she was able to support herself and graduate without student loans. And she liked it.

My second cousin, who is a well-respected specialized physician, became a stripper in her college/medical school days because the money she earned paid for what was not covered in her scholarships. To me, she was brave to do that in her day. By the end of it, she told my mother she felt more empowered by the experience, and she had plenty of confidence before she stripped.

Why do people judge others for being more sexually free? There should be no shame in it.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by black-roses

I found a solution to this I could instead file out an application and let artists draw me naked its a win- win for me and them plus I LOVE NUDE ART I LOVE DRAWING PEOPLE NUDE. I will love to draw myself nude it be great

Good choice. Exhibitionism is quite the giddy experience.

[Tsukiko]

Yes! What one does with their own body is their choice and if this makes them feel better about themselves, I say go for it.
My body, my rules.

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

My second cousin, who is a well-respected specialized physician, became a stripper in her college/medical school days because the money she earned paid for what was not covered in her scholarships. To me, she was brave to do that in her day. By the end of it, she told my mother she felt more empowered by the experience, and she had plenty of confidence before she stripped.

Why do people judge others for being more sexually free? There should be no shame in it.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by black-roses

I found a solution to this I could instead file out an application and let artists draw me naked its a win- win for me and them plus I LOVE NUDE ART I LOVE DRAWING PEOPLE NUDE. I will love to draw myself nude it be great

That's a great idea. Schools always need nude models, and having drawn quite a few myself, they tend to be homeless men, lol. So drawing a pretty girl would be a very nice change, speaking just as an artist.

I wanted to speak to your first post though. Black-roses, I just said this to someone else, and I say it to myself all the time: You need to give yourself self worth, no one else can give it to you. And no one can take it from you either. No matter what you do, it doesn't make you less worthy as a person. I hope that this makes sense to you.

Hope the figure posing goes well for you.

Seesaw

[Artchic528]

Sorry wrong thread....

[healingme4me]

If that's the field you are choosing to get into, here's an organization that has much literature and support for your rights.

http://sexworkersproject.org/

Wish you well.