[SelfHarm]

Hi All,

I'm from Europe (Amsterdam), I don't know why I'm addicted to Femdom fetish videos. I watched Femdom videos when I was 16 and now I'm 36. Please I need help, I'm addicted to (psychologically) harm myself by watching Femdom videos, every time I watch I masturbate and after I'm finish with masturbating I feel down embarrassed and delete all videos but again after a few days or weeks I download those dirty videos again. I feel I'm a victim of porn industry, as a child I was exposed to these filthy videos and now I'm addicted to it, I tried anything but after a few weeks or months I download and watch again. Please, do you have suggestions how I can get rid of my addiction? Please help, thanks in advance.

[Skeezyks]

Hello SelfHarm: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

The Skeezyks has not had the kind of problem with which you are struggling. So I cannot speak to it directly. However, in my own life, I have struggled with various self-harming compulsions. Pretty-much all of them have dropped away at this point. I'm an older person & perhaps this is the reason. But I have also found, when my circumstances changed such that I could no longer engage in a particular form of self-harm, it seemed as though it went by the wayside. In a sense, it seemed as though the compulsion was tied to the particular set of circumstances under which I practiced it. When the circumstances changed so did the need to pursue the compulsion.

So my only thought would be... if you divest yourself of the means to watch these videos (your computer?) perhaps you may find that your compulsion will lessen. Perhaps put your computer, or whatever it is you watch these videos on, into the hands of a family member or friend who can help to control your usage of the equipment. You wouldn't need to tell them why you're doing this. Just say it's because you're spending too much time using the equipment in general & need help to cut back.

I imagine this is something like being addicted to alcohol or drugs. There are, of course, alcohol & drug treatment programs & support groups. I don't know if there is such a thing for persons who are addicted to porn. (If there isn't, there probably should be.) I was reading an article in our local newspaper this morning about internet addiction & programs that are being started to treat individuals who have this problem. I know these kinds of addictions can be devilishly difficult to overcome. I have the impression that, sometimes, it is simply a matter of coming to terms with the fact that one has the addiction & then figuring out ways to practice it safely.

[bowser93]

is real. picture those movies and pictures that stimulate you sexually as daggers and bullets damaging the real meaning and purpose of sex. in reality, you're addicted to a false love. one that you love and leave with the click of a mouse. this totally destroys the idea of sex to both parties. i do believe that we are "all" corruptable to the highest extent of evil based on choices we make. but i also think our bodies "fight" against us for only so long before it gives in to your mental desires. be as kind to your body and brain as you possibly can. after all, you didnt create it and it carries so much more weight when a soul is burdened to where gravity actually seems stronger. your mind doest deserve the con job visual images and paid actors are selling it about sex.

i remember watching Ted Bundy's final interiew before his execution on, "Focus on The Family." i remember how angry it made people that he would dare blame pornography for these atrocities. folks, the guy seemed sincere that his roots to violent sex started with viewing pornography at a young age, because of its progression over time. the scariest part was thayt we had a christian man condemning Bundy's defense, calling it an excuse, which it was.

the deeper point is that the hatred people had for that man was so strong that since his excuse was porn that it executed bundy. pornography acquitted; eerily, covertly accepted just a tad more, as if we werent on the move towards sexual anarchy anyway.

the thing you are suffering with pays bills for some, but rips the little dignity we have as human beings. Pray, keep praying. if that doesnt work have someone pray with you. in our quest of freedom we really have became enslaved. i wish you the best with this pride and self-worth sucking leach.

You might want to try the Sexual Addictions subforum.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Hi SelfHarm. to PC!
Like skeezyks I can relate to the self harm impulses and complusions. Self harm in whatever form it manifests I personally view as our unhealthy outward expressions of our feelings of worthlessness. Self-harm is what we do to ourselves when we can't get past certain feelings or memory triggers but lack healthy coping skills, so we get stuck in a loop of recreating and reinforcing these low images of ourselves by this vicious cycle of trying fruitless to distract from them by self punishment which may give slight immediate relief but just deepens the initial wounds. .This can be the result of many things, some part of chemical MI( ie depression), or the result of anxieties, trauma, PDs etc... The fact is whether the intial causes are external or internal, I have learned thru working w/ Ts and groups...to identify the initial underlying cause, and then work simultaneously on breaking the cycle by addressing/ working thru the,underlying issues while learning healthier methods and distractions to treat and hopefully eventually end the,self imposed cycle of trauma. Hope this helps. Pm me if you need anything. Be safe and kind to yourself.

[SelfHarm]

Guys, thank you so much for your help and suggestions, I really appreciate it

[SelfHarm]

Guys, thank you so much for your help and suggestions, I really appreciate it. Gob bless