[LoveLace]

Hi Everyone!! I'm new to this particular forum but am glad that it is here. I'm struggling with an issue that has been present in my life since my earliest recollections--I was born a genetic male but have wanted to be a female for all of my life.

I remember being maybe 4 or 5 and begging, crying, throwing tantrums because I didn't want to be a boy--I wanted to be a girl. My mother indulged me for most of my young life, letting me wear girls' clothing, painting my fingernails and toenails and have my hair long and in ponytails or pigtails until I had to start school. The transition was horrible and I still remember the pain of being made to play the "boy games" at recess rather than play with the "other" girls. I crossdressed whenever I could throughout my life.

I deliberately went to college in a cooler climate so I could wear sweaters and boots during a lot of the school year, underneath which I usually wore bras, panties and pantyhose. I plucked my eyebrows as narrow and grew my fingernails as long as I could get away with and kept my legs and arms shaven until I just had to wear shorts and short sleeves.

These periods were also interspersed with periods of extreme guilt and self-loathing. I used to pray every night for God to either let me wake up fully female the next morning or let me never want to be female again. Neither happened, of course, but it was all I knew to do.

There are years and years of this struggle I can relate but that isn't the purpose of this post. I just wanted to introduce myself and make contact with people who either have had to deal with the same issues or, at least, are sympathetic to the issues. I'm open and more than happy to hear from anyone who might need a friendly ear as well as lend one. Thanks for listening...so far.

[Raynaadi]

Welcome to PsychCentral Lovelace! I am sure you will find support here. I will leave the floor now for people who have experience, strength and hope in this area. Just wanted to give you a welcome!

~Rayna

[Talulah]

Hi and welcome Lovelace. Although I am a lesbian and can't identify completely to your specific situation, I am sensitive to the struggles you are facing as part of the GLBT community. I've only personally known one person who has undergone the change from F to M.

You're very brave to follow your heart and moreso to share here. Just wanted to welcome you and know that I shall never judge, and always have an open ear.

[LMo]

... I'm also sensitive and compassionate to your issues, Lovelace, and also welcoming you here. I'd be glad to talk if you need a friend

[KM45]

Hi Lovelace. I would like to kill 2 birds with stone if I may, by saying hi to all as a newbie and also saying I share some of what you have been thru.

While I do not trully identify as female, I am trying to come to terms with being in the middle. Not male or female. For my part I would like to have the physical appearance of both but with female curves, as that is how I feel inside. I hope that makes sense.

Sorry for this mini hijacking of your thread hehe.

BTW. If I can help out I will. Maybe we have more common ground to explore and help each other.

KM

[Rhapsody]

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Welcome to PC and may YOU always find support and acceptance from us all.... thanks for sharing.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[sidony]

Hi LoveLace and welcome!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've had. I'm afraid I don't have any experience or knowledge on this subject to offer, but I'm glad to listen and I don't judge you negatively for it. I agree with Talulah that you are brave to follow your heart! I'm glad you've found this forum and hope you meet others with some relevant experiences. Welcome!

And welcome to you too KM45! We allow occasional temporary thread-hijacking. :P

Sidony

[LILITH]

Welcome Lovelace,
My name is Altheia, I am a lesbian.... I have know many in shoes. It is a difficult road.... but I am here to support you in anyway I can.

(((((((((LoveLace)))))))))

Dear Lovelace,
I do know what your feelling, I am I.S. back in the 1980s I found out by having major surgery that what I was feeling all those years had a reason. I have been rejected by family friends and many others. I really don't think many in here would want to read about this so if you would like to talk, message me or e-mail me, either one. Kimberly

[Maven]

Hi Lovelace!

Welcome to our forums. I don't have GID, but I've read a bit about it, and seen several documentaries and talk shows on it. I hope you feel comfortable here and make a lot of friends.

i dont think they found that answer they were looking for, look at the date of the original post and you will see that they have not posted again anyware after this initial intro.