Loosing erection during intercourse

Not often but it has happened several times to me... I'm in intercourse and loose my erection just like that..
I've mentioned it to a doctor who said (with no deep examination) it was a psychological issue..

I've never been insecure about sex until a long relationship ended badly for me...
Then, very frequently, I would not be able to intercourse with new girlfriends, despite wanting it badly... I would masturbate myself with no problem but would loose my erection right before starting to have sex.. So frustrating. It happened several times and really spoiled, I'm sure, some relationships cause I couldn't cope with it and would feel very bad and just avoid the girlfriend...

I've learned to deal with it by lowering expectations and saying to my girlfriends that it "may eventually happen and it's nothing serious.. Just a nervous issue..." ...

The thing is, it still happens every now and then, although I'm in a stable relation now and very comfortable, with a girlfriend that tells me it has no importance whenever it happens (but I see she is puzzled by it)...
I feel very, very frustrated to the point I would beat the ***** of myself for letting me down...

So, has this happened to any guy around here? How have you dealled with it?
And what about girls... has it happened to your boyfriends? How do you felt about it?

Thanks in advance..

Dear Virneto,
Having been married 29 years, believe me, the final satisfaction derived from intercourse is going to vary each time. I guess I've been at it for so long that I've learned to have no expectations. But admittedly what keeps me coming back is that it is sometimes very, very good. Your girlfriend sounds very sweet. If she's not reaching orgasm, there are other ways to please her erotically. Admittedly, achieving orgasm through penetration is very nice but so are other things. When a man is concerned about a woman's pleasure--that is very, very sexy! Hopefully, the more you are with your girlfriend, the more relaxed you will become.

Apreciate you words, @Mysterious153.

Cheers to you.

Hi, I am writing about myself and my fiance. We have been together two and a half years now and we just got engaged recently. From the onset of our relationship my fiance has struggled with erections during sex and delayed ejaculation. He has no problem with erections and ejaculation with oral sex. I have always had with him a very high sex drive and now I am getting to the point where I don't even want to try to have sex anymore. It feels very disappointing that he can be so excited and then soon after we start having intercourse he loses his erection. We have talked about this he has been to a doctor to make sure he was physically healthy and he is. Evidently it's all emotional which is actually worse because it's not something you can just fix. I don't really understand what's going on it is starting to create a lot of stress. I have noticed that are spark outside of the bedroom is starting to suffer as well. I know that I am pulling back because this ongoing problem is starting to get to me. What I'm trying to seek out help for is a man's perspective as to what could possibly be going on? We are to be married spring and I'm worried that this might be lifetime problem. He tells me that he had no sexual issue in his prior marriage. What to do?

Has consideration been given to seeing a sex therapist? The problems of delayed ejaculation and loss of erection are well known among sex therapists and treatments are available.

I definitely am open to therapy, the issue is I feel like I'm taking the lead on every attempt to make this better. I feel like he doesn't want to deal with it .

Hi @Futuremrs,

I am very sorry to hear that... I truly hope you can both go around this issue.

I'm thinking hat if it starts to be a big deal you will both start avoiding sex, because every time it happens it makes damage.
Believe me it is very frustrating for a man, especially when it has nothing to do with lack of appetite...

I suggest you can find a way to openly address the issue and find good strategies...

In my case, my girlfriend has been awesome. I've lowered expectations to the minimum and when it happens she is awesome in not making a big deal with it.. We usually end up enjoying ourselves in other ways...
Furthermore, you should also look to other good advice given in other replies to this post, namely @Mysterious153...

Cheers to you.
I hope you can find a way out of this....

I expect that discussing it makes him feel shame and emasculated and so he avoids it. You might try going alone to a sex therapist and explaining the situation. The T, i expect, will be supportive and say that there is treatment available. You vould convey that information to your fiance and perhaps he would then be willing to see the T. I expect that he might want to speak to the t alone for a session or two and i think the t will do that.

Of course you would be going over all of this with him in a kind way, but also (i suggest) in a firm way. If he absolutely refuses to get help, you might then ask yourself if you really want to marry a guy who not only may be unable to share sexuality with you, but more importantly a guy who refuses to face and discuss problems with you.