I can't stop thinking about sex. Especially in the morning. Every morning I think about having sex with someone I know and have seen in person a few times. I'm also attracted to them. That's not my only problem. During the day all the way to the evening, I still want sex, but I want it with someone else random. No-strings-attached. I'm male over 25, still a virgin, unable to drive a car and live in a rural area without access to go into town. A family member drives me and them to wherever we have errands to do or drs appt. I've never dated at all when I was younger or now. I've always been shy but in the last few years, I've been a little more confident. I masturbate to porn every other day to ease the urges but it's becoming increasingly more difficult and I still want to experience sex with a female. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this..

[Travelinglady]

Hi, lil Rocky. First of all, ditch the porn. That'll make things worse. I don't know your age, but young men tend to be sex oriented. Take care of your needs and then get busy with other activities--a hobby, reading, non-sexual TV shows, etc. If you have a therapist, then see what he/she suggests, too. Hope you can calm things down, so you won't be miserable.

Of course you want to have sex with a woman. That's a natural desire, but I don't recommend sex for sex sake. It's not fair to a woman unless she gets paid for it--and I don't recommend that either.

Any men out there who have ideas? Help this fellow out, please!

Hi Travelinglady. Thank you so much for your advice and for your help. Currently I'm cannot afford to see a therapist at the moment. I'm handling this on my own. I have tried to stop watching porn several times over the years but I end up watching it again. I do have hobbies but I haven't been much into them as I used to. It's been stressful the last 2½ years. Been having alot going on in my personal life and not just the lack of sex. I'm hoping to get through this but every day it's a struggle.

[Pikku Myy]

I would say the am sex arousal is the global wave... totally normal. Leave your other thought there

[Deranged Hermit]

Well if you can get your drivers licence. The ability to get out and do other things can help manage the obsessions.

Then if possible have sex. Ask friends if they have ever noticed a woman flirting with you (I was never able to tell and apparently missed several opportunities in my 20's) if you like them ask them out. You may have to try many different women and if they seem interested you may even have to ask them out multiple times (I needed to ask my wife out 3 times before she said yes, and this only happened at the urging of several friends and coworkers.) If you don't find her sexually appealing or you don't like her personality just ask for no strings sex. My own first sexual experience was with a woman I didn't find attractive but others told me she kind of liked me, I asked, "Would you like to have sex?" (an exact quote) and she said yes, 2 hours later I was no longer a virgin and I no longer had a desire for any sex again (at least until I met my wife.) Hell if you live in a place that is ok with paying for sex do it just to get that experience under your belt.

What I found is that sex has been and is over hyped, TV shows, movies, books and nearly every form of media suggest that sex is the greatest thing to happen to men since we decided to come down from the trees. In reality its OK I wont lie but there are several things that people leave out of their stories about sexual conquests. Things like queffing, the absurd sex faces, sweat dripping off your partner when its to hot, the unpleasant smell if a woman doesn't wash properly, the unpleasantness of wearing a condom, the inability to feel any thing between the condom and a woman who has had several children, the list goes on and on.

If non of this helps you can always look for management techniques that obsessive compulsive people use to minimize their compulsions.

Originally Posted by Pikku Myy

I would say the am sex arousal is the global wave... totally normal. Leave your other thought there

I'm trying to. Today the thoughts came out and I was able to suppress them.

Originally Posted by Deranged Hermit

If you don't find her sexually appealing or you don't like her personality just ask for no strings sex. My own first sexual experience was with a woman I didn't find attractive but others told me she kind of liked me, I asked, "Would you like to have sex?" (an exact quote) and she said yes, 2 hours later I was no longer a virgin and I no longer had a desire for any sex again (at least until I met my wife.) Hell if you live in a place that is ok with paying for sex do it just to get that experience under your belt.

I've been thinking about doing the no-strings-attached type of thing just to get it out of my system. I just want to know what it feels like.

Originally Posted by Deranged Hermit

What I found is that sex has been and is over hyped, TV shows, movies, books and nearly every form of media suggest that sex is the greatest thing to happen to men since we decided to come down from the trees. In reality its OK I wont lie but there are several things that people leave out of their stories about sexual conquests. Things like queffing, the absurd sex faces, sweat dripping off your partner when its to hot, the unpleasant smell if a woman doesn't wash properly, the unpleasantness of wearing a condom, the inability to feel any thing between the condom and a woman who has had several children, the list goes on and on.

The sex faces, sweating doesn't bother me. I've heard of queefing but I never knew it involved sex until I looked it up just a little while ago and that too won't bother me. The fact that a woman doesn't wash properly may bother me. I had no clue wearing a condom would be uncomfortable. Now I know what to expect.

Originally Posted by Deranged Hermit

If non of this helps you can always look for management techniques that obsessive compulsive people use to minimize their compulsions.

I think I may do that if all else fails. Thank you for your advice and perspective on this. It really helped!!

[Travelinglady]

Sex is mainly a mind thing, and sometimes the mind makes things better than they are. Not to say it's not good, just overplayed, like Hermit said. It's not a thing to "just get over with," but that's my perspective about respecting women and not just seeing them as sex objects.

I stay busy on the Internet when I can't get out, watch TV, read, clean house (when I'm desperate ), talk to people here in the social groups, etc. Mind you, I'm the mother of two grown sons--and I know what I'm talking about.

Having sexual urges is normal--otherwise, why would people do such a weird thing? But sex ain't all of life, and if it is, life is being unlived.

Okay?

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Sex is mainly a mind thing, and sometimes the mind makes things better than they are. Not to say it's not good, just overplayed, like Hermit said. It's not a thing to "just get over with," but that's my perspective about respecting women and not just seeing them as sex objects.

I stay busy on the Internet when I can't get out, watch TV, read, clean house (when I'm desperate ), talk to people here in the social groups, etc. Mind you, I'm the mother of two grown sons--and I know what I'm talking about.

Having sexual urges is normal--otherwise, why would people do such a weird thing? But sex ain't all of life, and if it is, life is being unlived.

Okay?

Ok. Thank you. I will try to keep myself busy and hopefully I won't think about it so much.

Urges have come and gone for the past few days. Just about an hour ago, the thought of sex came but I was able to stop and think about something else.

Thoughts are getting stronger. I've tried to do other activities to keep my mind off of sex. I exercise regularly, stopped watching porn, not look at any sexual movies, tv shows or anything else. I have the urge to go back to twitter (the bad side of it) and meet like-minded people. Also, I'm desiring to start a not-strings-attached casual relationship with someone local. I'm trying to fight this but it's getting increasingly hard. Can anyone relate to this?

Urges are growing more. I'm trying to cope but I'm so close to asking someone close to where I live..Going to keep trying to do other things.

[Travelinglady]

Go ahead and masturbate.

[darcus aurelius]

nothing wrong in wanting sex, or casual sex.

but then it could be your social issues causing this.

Exactly. Been trying to go out more and be more social. So far it's working.

[glitterbutterfly]

I crave it too

Good to know I'm not the only one.

So far I've been able to control the urges. They were strong earlier but I'm trying to hold out a little bit longer. Might masturbate before bed to soothe myself.

I've been thinking of hiring a woman to satisfy my needs. Not sure if I'll go through with it. I stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating for about a week. The sexual urges have calmed down a bit. I'm still horny in the mornings but that's normal.

Originally Posted by Deranged Hermit

What I found is that sex has been and is over hyped, TV shows, movies, books and nearly every form of media suggest that sex is the greatest thing to happen to men since we decided to come down from the trees.

I recently read a credible report that suggested that we were already doing it in the trees. Link unavailable.

Might be a night for self-pleasure.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Might be a night for self-pleasure.

Last night for me it was. Urges are not as strong as before. But they haven't gone away completely.

Originally Posted by Lil Rocky

I've been thinking of hiring a woman to satisfy my needs. Not sure if I'll go through with it....

Did you go through with it?

Originally Posted by Lonely Warrior

Did you go through with it?

Nope. Low on $$$. Might have to wait..

Originally Posted by Lil Rocky

Nope. Low on $$$. Might have to wait..

I don't recommend doing it. You wouldn't be satisfied (especially it would be you first time), and you would risk your health possibly for the rest of your life (condomns don't protect against every infection. I encourage you to educate yourself about these things beause people usually find out these things when it's too late). Try to satisfy yourself by other ways (e.g., masturbation), until someone comes along with whom you feel connected. Feeling desperate sexually is not a nice feeling (I think it's because you haven't had sex yet and probably watch a lot of porn and have some probably unrealstic expectations), but it also can push you to do damaging things to your self-respect and physical health. This is my advice to you. Be patient and hopefully things will turn around. Good luck

Originally Posted by Lonely Warrior

I don't recommend doing it. You wouldn't be satisfied (especially it would be you first time), and you would risk your health possibly for the rest of your life (condomns don't protect against every infection. I encourage you to educate yourself about these things beause people usually find out these things when it's too late). Try to satisfy yourself by other ways (e.g., masturbation), until someone comes along with whom you feel connected. Feeling desperate sexually is not a nice feeling (I think it's because you haven't had sex yet and probably watch a lot of porn and have some probably unrealstic expectations), but it also can push you to do damaging things to your self-respect and physical health. This is my advice to you. Be patient and hopefully things will turn around. Good luck

Thanks so much Lonely Warrior! That makes sense and in a way i'm glad I don't have that much $$$. I did do research about condoms not being able to fully protect. Very scary. I stopped masturbating 8 days ago and trying not to think about sex so much and the thoughts come and go (no pun intended). As for finding someone, i'll do what you suggested and be patient. I've waited so long that waiting a little bit longer won't hurt.