[Nova567]

About 5 months ago, I moved into my best friend's father's house because I got really hypo and started a huge fight with my mom that forced me out of her house. I was finishing up my Bachelor's degree and have just scored my first job! I am moving out of here in 4-5 months, so I can save money, and my friend's father is moving to Arizona.
My friend's father has been great - supported me with school and hasn't expected much of me financially.
Over the past month, he got weirdly lovey towards me. Trying to hold my hand, stroke my hair, give me massages. I politely leave these situations or visibly show I am not comfortable so he will stop.
The other night he was texting me very weird sexual things, and I immediately responded with no, that makes me uncomfortable, you have to stop. He has rapidly apologized for his drug-induced state, but is still coming at me very strong. I have resorted to coming home late or hiding in my room. I am absolutely terrified he's going to get ********* again and either make me soo uncomfortable again or worse.
I told him I don't want a sexual relationship with him, but he's still being weird. I really want to confide in my best friend, but it's gonna cause a huge fight between her and her dad. It just seems like trouble follows me.
I get super anxious whenever I go home. But I don't have anywhere to go until I have the money to move out. He's going to notice I'm avoiding him and point it out and I really don't want to piss him off, but he won't drop the fact he's sexually attracted to me. I am at a loss and it's driving me into depression.
This whole situation drives me insane and I'm so freaked out to tell anyone about it because I don't want to make it a big deal, nothing has happened, and I AM NOT sexually attracted to the man. But it really freaks me out.

Ugh!That's a horrible situation to be in.

My first thought was maybe you should say something to your friend and let them fight it out.

Maybe it's just how my mind works,but a scenario ran through my mind of him maybe doing something to you against your will.Then your friend believing his version of the story.

I would be afraid of him,especially since you have made it clear you don't want a sexual relationship with him and he continues to be weird.

To me it IS a big deal.It's sexual harrassment.

Stay safe.

[Nova567]

Originally Posted by Terish

Ugh!That's a horrible situation to be in.

My first thought was maybe you should say something to your friend and let them fight it out.

Maybe it's just how my mind works,but a scenario ran through my mind of him maybe doing something to you against your will.Then your friend believing his version of the story.

I would be afraid of him,especially since you have made it clear you don't want a sexual relationship with him and he continues to be weird.

To me it IS a big deal.It's sexual harrassment.

Stay safe.

I really do not want my friend to think of her dad as a literally total a hole. She already thinks he's a big enough jerk, but he's moving so soon all the way across the country I am so hesitant to start that fight. I have decided that if he does get outright sexual towards me, like he did that one night over text, I will say something to her, even though that makes me feel like puking. I have saved my texts as evidence.

That scenario has run through my mind too, but as a child, he was sexually abused and it has really hurt him, so I do not think he would inflict the same pain on me. But, then again, I also never thought he would look at me like a sexual object instead of a person.

I am afraid, that's why I am hardcore keeping my distance. He says that I am just "so nice to him and most people aren't" but that doesn't justify him expressing his sexual thoughts about me, especially knowing the consequences to me if I ever did have sex with him, ruining my friendship of 7 years of with his two daughters. Thinking thoughts is one thing, expressing them is another, acting upon them is another ballpark.

I mean, he did literally say to me he can't stop his thoughts, but his actions are up to him. But he gets really drunk and that's what really scares me. He's not a horrible person, he was so sorry about making me uncomfortable, but now he thinks its okay to just sit there and say "well you know, I learned more about you and you're young and sexy and my mind just went there. but i don't ever want to make you uncomfortable" but literally keeps going, and it makes me uncomfortable. I felt better when he apologized for his actions, but I felt worse when he just wouldn't drop the subject.

I am crossing my fingers I can survive here for just a few more months before anything happens. Because if it does, it's gonna be ugly and I will be homeless, which I was avoiding by moving here.

As a side note in this weird situation, my best friend is on a little weekend getaway with her gf, and my friends dad knew I was hanging out a mutual friend who he also knows. He texted me and told me we should invite her over to make chili. Like he is injecting himself straight into my personal life. She texted me, I told her it was up to her, which is codeword in our friend group for "I would really prefer you didn't but I don't want to talk about it". So I'm going there tonight and may just stay there, or will be coming home really late when he is asleep.
I am so stressed by this.