Married, no sex life. Celibate.Gay fantasies,

dennymann · Sep 19, 2019 at 09:54 PM

Because of physical illness and antidepressants my wife has no interest in sex at all. I have lost interest in a sexual relationship because there is no excitement nor real pleasure in the extended forms of various sexual acts. I am very open minded and there aren’t to many things I wouldn’t try. Over the last few years I find myself drawn to gay pornography to get really turned on. I would also like to be with a woman. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without experiencing and experimenting sexually with another person. I have tried to get together with another person but I can’t go through with it. Any advice that doesn’t recommend divorce? Thanks in advance

TunedOut · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dennymann

Because of physical illness and antidepressants my wife has no interest in sex at all. I have lost interest in a sexual relationship because there is no excitement nor real pleasure in the extended forms of various sexual acts. I am very open minded and there aren’t to many things I wouldn’t try. Over the last few years I find myself drawn to gay pornography to get really turned on. I would also like to be with a woman. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without experiencing and experimenting sexually with another person. I have tried to get together with another person but I can’t go through with it. Any advice that doesn’t recommend divorce? Thanks in advance

I cut back on my SSRI because sex is better when I do. I do it for my H, I do it for me, but I do get upset more easily when I do so I pay a price. I am not sure if your wife is willing or if she can do this.

If you live in a state were recreational pot is allowed--that could help also.

Have you discussed how wound up this is making you feel?

dennymann · Sep 23, 2019 at 11:02 PM

Sorry for the delay. She will not cut back on the Zoloft and pot has no stimulating effects for her. She apologizes for lack of interest and I always say “it’s okay, it is what it is.” But like I said before, if your partner never was into the different kinds of foreplay
You get to the point where they no longer turn you on anyway. I have found ways to have good prolonged sex by myself. Estim, sounding, toys, you can probably guess what kind of toys. The larger point is, I’d like to be with another person but I don’t think I can handle the guilt. It’s especially hard because I am on ADHD meds and they make me want sex more than usual. Thanks for letting me get this off my mind, I think it helps some. I appreciate any thoughts or advice

whimsicalman · Oct 30, 2019 at 12:34 PM

I wonder if opening the relationship is an option. If you think that she would be willing to do that, you can set specific ground rules that apply to the both of you when it comes to how it would work in your specific relationship and situation.

AspiringAuthor · Nov 01, 2019 at 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsicalman

I wonder if opening the relationship is an option. If you think that she would be willing to do that, you can set specific ground rules that apply to the both of you when it comes to how it would work in your specific relationship and situation.

OP - if you open the relationship and not be secretive, then there would not be guilt, right? Try talking to your wife about it and see how you feel having voiced this desire and how she reacts.

Would you actually want to be with a man for real?

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whimsicalman Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: USA Posts: 146 6 105 hugs given	Oct 30, 2019 at 12:34 PM #4 I wonder if opening the relationship is an option. If you think that she would be willing to do that, you can set specific ground rules that apply to the both of you when it comes to how it would work in your specific relationship and situation.
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