what makes a person a w*

3 definitions, and another question, how do you define promiscuous? What number makes a woman promiscuous? I have had sex with 5 men in my life, I'm nearly 40, is that promiscuous? What if the 5 men were in the same week, does that change it?

It really gets up my nose this pat on the back for a son if he gets it and a telling off for a daughter if she does, its double standards.

Hey Tishie, I just posted the definition responding to esthervirtues post on page 1 hoping it would clarify

the situation a little better. Thats definetly a good Question?

Since I'm a survivor of abuse I really don't know how to answer
that one, I still deal with many issues myself, and it took me

like 40 years to start dealing with them, hopefully someone else
could answer that?

I agree with you on that tish should be same standards for men

too. No double Standards!

Hey AAAA, I just posted the definition responding to esthervirtues post on page 1 hoping it would clarify

the situation a little better. Thats definetly a good Question?

If its atleast 5 well shoot that puts me in the running too i
guess? Who Knows?

Since I'm a survivor of abuse I really don't know how to answer
that one, I still deal with many issues myself, and it took me

like 40 years just to get to this point in my life where i'm actually recognizing it and getting some closure.

Maybe someone else out there would like to give their opinion
also.....

Cant be doing with this game you Ziggy are on ignore.

All, thanks for your views. Lets continue to make the discussion productive and supportive

Tishie You mis understood mee, i meant that there should be no

double standards for both men and women, meaning equal treatment

and understanding for both...okay...sorry i may have mis-worded

it...

((((((Tishie, Ziggy))))))

my thoughts on the subject -

Have sex when you want to, and with whom, but always respect yourself and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and not out of wanting something you cannot acheive through just sex. And always do it safely.

If that means you sleep with ten partners at once, thats your choice. If that means you never sleep with anyone, that too is your choice I think.

I think that calling someone a ***** because they sleep with alot of people is a little silly and judgemental. That is just my opinion though, noone get riled up ok?

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AAAAA said:
What number makes a woman promiscuous?

I have had sex with 5 men in my life, I'm nearly 40, is that promiscuous?
What if the 5 men were in the same week, does that change it?

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Yes, I would say if the men where in the same week then that would change things dramatically...... therefore, leaving the woman with the reputation of being promiscuous.

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Rainbowzz said:
I think that calling someone a ***** because they sleep with a lot of people is a little silly and judgemental.

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I think most of us are referring to the word "*****" as some one that takes money for sex and not toward one that sleeps around.

Ya, everything she said.

And, to answer your question, Rhapsody, I very, very rarely (if ever) have heard someone being called a ***** in the context of the woman actually being a prostitute. Regardless of what a dictionary may say, a common colloquialism is to call a woman who has sex a *****.

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perpetuallysad said:
And, to answer your question, Rhapsody, I very, very rarely (if ever) have heard someone being called a ***** in the context of the woman actually being a prostitute. Regardless of what a dictionary may say, a common colloquialism is to call a woman who has sex a *****.

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I guess the words used for a woman that takes money for sex is deemed what ever it is due to the age that particular person grew up in....... in my time - they called a woman of the night a ***** and a female that slept around a slut.

I personally see a WOUNDED HEART....... when I hear about sex being used in such a way - I view the person as some one that is lost and so trying to find their place of belonging.

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Rhapsody said:
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Rainbowzz said:
I think that calling someone a ***** because they sleep with a lot of people is a little silly and judgemental.

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I think most of us are referring to the word "*****" as some one that takes money for sex and not toward one that sleeps around.

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Gotcha Rhap. Yeah, I would say if anything that would be the definition, but i think the word probably gets misused quite a bit too.

(((esthervirtue)))

Just curious still, where do you draw the line in the sand? You can sleep with one person a month? A quarter? A year? A decade?

Once again, I fall back on my standard rule of thumb: what happens between two consenting adults is their business.

Just because a word happens to be found in the dictionary doesn't mean that it isn't meant to be demeaning and hurtful. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it really does.

what does it really matter? you remember roosevelt's saying? "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission." if you accept that word and let it hurt you, then thats letting you hurt yourself. however, if you hear someone say that and think "i choose to do this with my own body and that doesnt make me anything but aware." then youre choosing to not allow other people to hurt you. you can sleep with whomever you want, as long as youre safe! being safe and doing it for yourself, not for anyone else, is what matters. not how many.

salukigirl,

Roosevelt was right, but it's so frustrating. The young women in this country have such low self esteem to begin with and we have to compound this problem by throwing insults at them. Think about this, how often is this word used correctly (to identify a woman that trades sex for money) and how often is it used as an insult.

It's a double edged sword, by having it bother me so much I give the word its power.

so dont give it that power. just don't. if you want to be something, be it. you can be whoever you want. and if you tell yourself that it hurts you, its going to. but if you dont let it hurt you, it wont. its suprising how easily it comes after you force yourself that time or two, it becomes second nature.

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salukigirl said:
what does it really matter? you remember roosevelt's saying? "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission." if you accept that word and let it hurt you, then thats letting you hurt yourself. however, if you hear someone say that and think "i choose to do this with my own body and that doesnt make me anything but aware." then youre choosing to not allow other people to hurt you. you can sleep with whomever you want, as long as youre safe! being safe and doing it for yourself, not for anyone else, is what matters. not how many.

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I've always understood the spirit of that quote, but think its not that true. I think if you love someone you care what they think and their words do hurt. The "permission" you give them is the vulnerability that comes with love.

esthersvirtue - thats a pretty profound statement. i guess then that the only way to ever not be hurt, is to never let anyone in. its on an individual basis whether we decide whether its more important to feel love, or to keep yourself safe from hurtful words. and if you feel that its more important to be loved, then we need to take careful consideration as to who we allow in. so it all goes back to being on a one-by-one standard. no one can tell you what a ***** is.