[myoasis89]

I'm shy in bed and I usually like it when my bf anniciates sex. I dress sexy for him and moan or sigh when he does something I like. He always complains that I don't dance for him and that I need to be more aggressive. He said he almost came when i danced for him. I don't know what it is...I feel silly when i dance for him and I don't know how to start it. Also I'm not exactly sure how to be aggressive in bed. I like being the shy one and I like it when he is dominant. I don't think he wants me to be dominant he would just like it if I would inniciate sex or I would show him that I want it

I would really prefer if guys would answer this one for me but women can answer as well

[Slothrop]

Hmm...partners asking each other to "perform" for them can be tricky....

I can understand what your bf is talking about...it's fun and a turn-on to feel wanted, to feel like someone is willing to "court" me and get me all fired up.

But that stuff would need to come from you...it's not fair for your bf to put you on the spot. It's OK if he says what he likes, but not OK to complain and try to push it on you.

If you feel like doing it as a "gift" to him sometimes, if you can enjoy playing that part sometimes, it could spice things up. Maybe you can compromise and each play the part the other wants from time to time.

But I don't think you should be made to do it if you hate it.

[clskrock]

Mix it up. Variety is the spice of life.

[theama]

Dancing/stripping for a man is a way of torturing them lol. Men are more visually stimulated than women, so having a hot lady in front of you - dancing and taking her clothes off - and you can't touch her or throw yourself at her like you want to do... that's frustrating. In a good way.

And yeah, guys usually like when we initiate sex cos they too need to feel wanted.
And I agree with slothrop, don't do anything that you're uncomfortable with or that you don't want to do. Only do it if you really want to, don't let him push you.

[psych16m]

im a really shy guy too, and pretty much the same as u in bed. i rather be submissive, but first of all.. if u dont like it, then dont do it, but make sure to tell him that u dont like it.

if u do like it, or want to do it for him, then do it, but tell him that u dont want to do it everytime, cuz i know u wouldnt like that.

also, maybe you could suggest some things for him to do for u too. maybe be more dominant on his side. just a comment.

but hey, it's ur life. but personally, i wouldnt do what i didnt like. i know u want to please him but set limits. on the other side, this could make u less shy (to him) and u could become more comfortable. who knows. good luck with everything tho.

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by myoasis89

I don't think he wants me to be dominant he would just like it if I would inniciate sex or I would show him that I want it

Well then...

The greatest dance happens between the ears...the orgasm happens in the mind along with 99% percent of everything beforehand...

Use your voice...and language if the dance seems uncomfortable...a few choice words whispered in the ear with a gentle touch are miracle workers to the fantasies of the mind..

The most alluring,,often is the least revealing...

IMHO.

Lenny