[carla37]

I recently relasped a week ago (sex addiction). I went to a bar, and just wanted to chill, and got out of control, and seduced someone. the problom is , he likes me. The guy seems fairly normal, and No s nothing about my history. I dont think Im ready to tell him. I was figuring no one is going to want me, because of my past. also i think im am alittle vunerable right now, and very lonley. He tells me he really cares about me only knowing me for a week. So Im alittle into what he is saying, I have realy low self esteem, is this guy trpouble for me.

[Rhapsody]

Is not having sex (at all) part of the strategy you are trying to follow while recovering from SA?

[carla37]

well no. intamacy , are different things to different people . I guess. My sex drive , Well the doc marked me as hypo sexually(sounds funny) is really high. Its not a normal sex drive, I can get alittle wrapped uped in it. were as thats all I think about. ya this sounds like a mans dream. but its really not. and can lead to infedlity, Ive been called some really nasty names. And its like drugs, when you experiment the one thing isnt enough, you want more for arosoal, weather it be sneaking a porn movie, the fantacies come first. then your in trouble . its a pretty big problom, most psychologist dont cover it yet. and women are at the top just like men. when aa first came out it was mostly men, women dint attend, then well sexuallt revelution

[Rhapsody]

Might I suggest that you make one of your restrictions during recovery time one of not picking up guys at bars? - not for sex or companionship.

And set a limit to how many times you feel is acceptable for you to have sex during a regular week and stick to it - this way you are not over indulging in a behavior you feel is addictive to you.

[carla37]

thanks, well guess what. it turns out he dosnt like me anyway. so . but yes I sould have never picked him up. but thats the beauty of a SA. like you should have never gotten high when you no you have an important mettng to attend in the morning. Its all the same. he got sick of me. and yes my sex drive was scaring him. Im doomed. I no it. the thng is I can live alone for the rest of my life , but I dont want to. I am sad. I scared him off. He no's something is wrong.