[Eggshells]

I don't know how to describe it but sometimes I feel like a "man" when I'm around women. I want to protect them. I let them sit first. I open up doors for them. I want to take care of them.
I don't have much interest in men. I have fantasies about being with men and women. I have slept with men but no women. I would most likely sleep with a women if the opportunity came up with the right woman.
When certain women pass by me I feel sexually attracted to them. I do like guys sexually but never felt the zing one is supposed to feel when kissed or making out with them. I usually go along with what I'm supposed to do but not really feel it.
I wonder if it would be different with a woman.

Do you think I could be bi or straight up lesbian?

[Lenny]

Hi Eggshells and welcome to PC...

I am moving your post to the Sexual/Gender forum as it may get more responses there...

Be well,

Lenny

[Irine]

I think that if you get that opportunity with the right woman - maybe then you will know what you prefere.You never know whats better unless you experience it.

[FJRPC]

Originally Posted by Eggshells

I don't know how to describe it but sometimes I feel like a "man" when I'm around women. I want to protect them. I let them sit first. I open up doors for them. I want to take care of them.
I don't have much interest in men. I have fantasies about being with men and women. I have slept with men but no women. I would most likely sleep with a women if the opportunity came up with the right woman.
When certain women pass by me I feel sexually attracted to them. I do like guys sexually but never felt the zing one is supposed to feel when kissed or making out with them. I usually go along with what I'm supposed to do but not really feel it.
I wonder if it would be different with a woman.

Do you think I could be bi or straight up lesbian?

I don't know how many men you've been with, but it's possible that they haven't really cared for you. When there is a real "connection" between two attracted people, the feeling, and the lovemaking can be spectacular (or so I seem to remember...so long ago...).

If you're at all attractive, guys just want to get in your pants. They'll do and say what it takes, but with little or no real feeling.

If you decide yu'd like to experiment with a woman, just remember that they might be more into it than you are. It isn't right to play with the emotions of others.

I sometimes wish I were a woman. I'd be a lesbian for sure.

[filifera]

I can relate. It's not so much the gender that I'm attracted to, it's the mind. I like 'em both, and if the connection is there, I can be attracted to both men and women -- we all have all the necessary parts for a thrilling relationship. Just love the one you're with and don't be too worried about labels.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by filifera

Just love the one you're with and don't be too worried about labels.

[Ovadya]

I agree with the filifera and ladymacabethadmunsen. Don't be in a hurry to label yourself unless you feel the label might help you in some way. I personally dove right into the label of "gay" because I was having identity issues and it helped assert a sort of independence. However here's my advice:

Stereotypes work, but only if you don't think too hard.

I would however stick away from "try and see" as sexual behavior is best left to a commited relationship in my own opinion. From what you've described I suppose your bi-sexual and likely just haven't met "mr. Right" on the man side or "Mrs. Right" on the woman's side to give you sparks in your head.

[prettyfkindown!!]

thats the million dollar question isnt it!? i have never really known if i'm a boy or a grrl!! who cares... its all relative isnt it? i frequently change my mind, one day i feel like the girliest ever the next i feel like a man in the girls toilet or fitting room.
**** it.. whatever the answer the person with ya doesn't care, nor should we!
we are what we are x

[Berries]

I agree with everyone. About labels. But it seems you want people's opinion and here is mine. It sounds to me like you are a lesbian.

Being able to function sexually with a man is different than being able to “connect” with a man. What I mean by "connect" is that "spark" or that "passion" or that "thinking about your kiss last night, still sends chills through me"...
It sounds like you are saying you don't "connect" with men. Now, unless that connection problem is a reaction to former abuse or not having a connection with your dad...you are probably just more likely to “connect” with women.
If this is an intimacy problem stemming from former abuse, then it is unlikely that you won’t also have problems connecting with a woman, although I suppose it might be easier to connect with the gender that’s opposite to your abuser.
But, that is not what I am hearing you say.
I think you should explore this. Not by casual sex. I agree with everyone about that too.
I think you should find a lesbian club of some sort, I wouldn't recommend a gay bar as I don't think bars are a healthy place to meet people (imo). But, there are gay churches, and gay community centers...
Anyway, meet and date/get to know a woman who you are attracted to and have stuff in common with. You will find out if it's for you, that way.
You don't have to sleep with her to find out if you are a lesbian. One can ususally find out if she is a lesbian because she wants to sleep with a woman she likes & finds attractive. Then when you do sleep together, and you "connect" it's confirmed and it’s wonderful.
I hope you "connect" with someone, someday, whether it's a man or woman. Good Luck!