I can't take it anymore!!!

I am so digusted by my husband. We've been together for about 15 years. I was 18 and he was 29....It seems as though I've done a lot of maturing, and he's done a lot of regressing.

He makes gross sexual advances towards me all the time, and I HATE IT. I tell him TIME and TIME and TIME again to STOP talking to me like that. It disgusts me!!! And yet he continues to do it over and over and over again.

WHY?????? What do I have to do to get him to stop????

In the beginning of our relationship, we had a wonderful sexual relationship. But then, after our daughter was born, I started to feel less interested. Our sex life turned into a constant pleasing of him, just to get it over with and keep him satisfied, without much of it being for me. (Don't get me wrong, there are times when I am interested, but just not every day like him).....

Now that he is on meds for OCD, he has "issues"....so he has brought pornography into the house. Well, for a while, I was accepting of it - whatever helps get to the finish line, right? More and more, I'd notice that he was more interested in the porn than being with me.

We talked about it, and he understands.....I also talked to him about the gross way that he makes sexual advances towards me and how I am totally turned off by them. YET, he still DOESN'T STOP!!!

How on earth am I going to ever feel any kind of attraction to him when he acts like that and makes me feel disgusted???

Maybe he doesn't really understand how to talk to women, or maybe he has a really hard time trying to actually get you in the mood the right ways because he was never taught how to. Try to sit him down and talk to him about it and tell him things that do turn you on, give him hints to what the right things are to do. So many times in my past relationships women have always figured a man should know what to do to turn a woman on or they should figure it out on their own, but there are so many out there that really have no clue how to and that’s why communication in relationships is key you can't be afraid to talk to him about it. I think if you tell him few things that could help get you in the mood and set boundaries on what can be said and done maybe that would help.

If you are fully committed to this marriage, then you will keep trying different things until you are able to "change" him to be more like you want him to be. But It may take a very long time.

But perhaps this huge effort is not really worth it. You decide.

IMO - I would say the gross talking has come about from the porn he is viewing and his OCD is creating a need for more sex in him than he is physically needing... I will keep you in my thoughts.

In your other thread, you said you guys were going to go with a 6-mo trial separation. Now, if he has a lot of sexual issues now - be very careful here. He may do some things while separated that he doesn't do now. Could be strip clubs or possibly some online stuff.

He needs to do the trial-separation. However, you guys should go immediately to get a psychologist to oversee him as this happens, not go it alone. He needs either to regress back through childhood and deal with his issues causing all this from his up-bringing - or he will just go downhill if he does this alone.

Re I Can't Take It Anymore:
I would agree with Rekon. You should have a heart to heart with him and explain exactly what it is that pleases you and that you would like him to stop the turn off behaviors. Porn is very unrealistic in it's portrayal of women and doesn't depict how real women want to be treated. He's obviously getting his bad behavior from that. Also you mentioned that your desire isn't as strong since your daughter was born. I went through the same thing. I would suggest going to your doctor to rule out any medical causes. We women know that our desire starts with our emotions and that we need partners who are kind and considerate of our feelings first before we can be involved sexually. Maybe set aside a date night and tell him that this night will be all about you and satisfying you first. Best of luck to you and your husband.