[ilovechristian]

i posted earlier that i had anxiety from a dream that involved me and another girl kissing....i have never wanted be with a woman or been sexually attracted to a woman in my life and i have a boyfriend whom i love dearly. There was one time where i was drunk and kissed my best friend at the time but no feelings ever came up after that...then i had this dream where it happened that i kissed that same friend...who i am not friends with anymore and ever since the dream i have been getting horrible anxiety that out of no where i am turning lesbian...everytime i see a women my age (21) i get anxiety and i think its repulsing to even become sexual with a women...what do you think is going on with me? do you really think i can turn lesbian overnight?? please help!!

[Rhapsody]

I think you will be fine and that your dream is not sexual in nature, but rather it is telling you that you miss your old female friend (or need a new female friend), hence the kiss which represent intimacy on an emotional level.

[Maven]

Don't worry...dreams are rarely exactly what they seem, and it doesn't mean you're a lesbian. I've had dreams where I was really turned on and having sex with this somewhat famous male stand-up comic whom I find incredibly unattractive, and I know that's not the same sex, but I was surprised by it, because I knew I had no sexual interest in this guy.

Dreams might have meaning (as Rhapsody said), but they usually don't tell you clearly. If dreams did tell you exactly what you were, felt, etc., then a lot of people would be going to school or work in their underwear, or NAKED!

[ilovechristian]

yeah that is what everyone is telling me....i just have a past with anxiety and ocd and that is probably the reason why when i thinking about the dream it gives me anxiety and fear of turning lesbian.....i really need to get over this because its starting to hurt my life and relationship with my boyfriend.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by ilovechristian

i really need to get over this because its starting to hurt my life and relationship with my boyfriend.

Knowing you need to change some thing is half the battle....

[Maven]

I have OCD and anxiety, too, but not the same issue with fear of being gay. I just always knew I liked guys, but I do have a curiosity about sex with women. The difference is, I couldn't love a woman the way I could a man, so it would be sexual, and nothing more. I was uncomfortable realizing my curiosity when I was much younger, but I'm okay with it now. My desire for men far outweighs my desire for women, though.

[notz]

Sometimes, I dream I am urinating. I wake up with a start, convinced I have "wet" the bed, but I have not. During those initial moments, I even feel "shame" thinking of how "real" it felt.

Sometimes, I dream I am sexually aroused by a muscular, blond, six pack ab male. His eyes are a smokey light blue and he can really kiss! When I awake I've learned to be amused by the illogical nature of the dream since I've been out of the closet for 32 years! I sincerely doubt I'm going to turn heterosexual overnight!

If you think your dream gave you a lemon, may I respectfully suggest turning it into lemonade?

Sweet dreams!

[ilovechristian]

yeah, i have been told "it is just a dream" i am now coming to grips with that....like i said i do have unhealthy anxiety and OCD so that is whats making me go crazy over it.....im doing a little better now..which is good..have a t appointed on wednesday..yay me...

[notz]

Yes, it's just a dream, but it is your dream. All that stuff that happens in our minds when we're asleep can be very, very unsettling. I'm glad you will see your therapist on Wednesday. I bet this will be a really positive learning experience for you in the long run.

[ilovechristian]

i really hope its a positive experience...because i know for a fact having a homosexual dream dosent turn you into one...its just so frustrating to have this anxiety and every damn time now i think of a girl or look at one i get this weird feeling in me and my heart starts beating so fast....ughh i am counting down the days till wednesday.....btw how do people even know they are gay/lesbian?? has there always been attraction to their same sex since young or did it come out of no where?

[notz]

Well, Mrs. Cruz, I'll give you the short version!

Officially, I came out when I was 23 years old. Up until that time I had gone to great lengths to be what I "thought" I was "supposed" to be. Meaning, of course, heterosexual. I had married my high school sweetheart, had a daughter, going to college, etc.

As I look back on things, I can tell you that I've always been more attracted to girls even as a little girl. I knew better than to act on it even as young as 5 years old. I picked up on how "that" was frowned upon even that young.

So, what happened? Several difficult things happened that shook me to my very core. The death of my father and daughter and the infidelity of my husband. My insides screamed. Part of the gnawing was I had to be who I really was. I consciously made different choices and for the first time in my life honored who I am. (it's much more complicated, but I've hit the highlights for you)

I've heard many a gay man and many a lesbian tell the stories of how they knew. Most everyone "knows" before they get out of elementary or middle school! Sometimes, it takes a while to stop denying it, like me. Denial is powerful.

I agree with what Rhapsody said in regards to your dream:

I think you will be fine and that your dream is not sexual in nature, but rather 
it is telling you that you miss your old female friend (or need a new female 
friend), hence the kiss which represent intimacy on an emotional level.

And like I said, this is the short story. I appreciate you for asking and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to share it with you. Yep, you will be just fine!

[ilovechristian]

wow, thank you for sharing your story with me, and i am sorry for your losses that you have had. I have heard the same stories about people who have known since they were young, and didn't want to come about for fear of not being accepted in society. however, that is not the case with me obviously i havent had an attraction when i was younger to women, i have kissed like two girls and what not but it was all out in fun nothing ever sexual...thank you though for responding and giving me some insight with my dream and the different lifestyles people live notz. you've been a great help.

[notz]

...........my pleasure!