Severe Nightmares..

I've suffered from terrible nightmares ever since I can remember. As a kid, they were more simple: being abducted, missing special holidays, my family not wanting me, etc.

Around the age of 12, they got worse. And very gory. Some were re-occuring, apocalyptic dreams, but though they were scary, they were more adventurous. I'd wake up feeling unsettled but they didn't impact my life.

But then, I'd have dreams of people killing me, torturing me. I'd have dreams of people I loved being violently, horrifically murdered in front of me. Of disasters I couldn't control and being abandoned. I'd feel intense physical pain in my dreams that I've never felt in real life, at least that I can remember.

I'd also have dreams of being raped by my father and others.

I awake with a sick feeling in my stomach, sometimes screaming and crying. My entire day, I can't get these terrible images out of my head and become very reclusive, more so than I already am.

Last night was another one and I spent the night alone which makes it worse when I wake up. I used to refuse sleep because of the nightmares. Now, half the time I can't fall asleep or sleep too much to escape to the good dreams I have.. Which sometimes happen.

Last night I dreamed of being in a school. All of us, including a few friends of mine, were being held hostage. I watched my best friend's limbs being cut off while she tried to protect a younger version of me from being hurt. They eventually got to younger-me and shoved sharp rocks into younger-me's eyes. I tried to escape and protect other students, but I was powerless. And then everyone I loved was yelling at me, telling me how terrible I was.

I woke up crying. What can I do to lessen these dreams? They haunt me terribly.

Seek Professionl Help and do Cognitive Therapy. Commit yourself to your own Healing. Start Now!

I would had I the money for therapy. Unfortunately, sliding-scale and state-funded facilities won't take me because I'm 'not intense enough' because I'm not just attempting suicide left and right, and others say I'm 'too intense' because of my history and severity of issues.

Is there anything I can do that has helped others, that doesn't require therapy? I want to seek it as soon as possible, but until then.. Does anyone have any advice to soften the blow at all, so to speak?

That's what I don't like about modern world...No Mental Heath Care to speak of. That's why there is so much violence in the news.

Remember what happened had nothing to do with You personaly. Work on Honoring Yourself. Call a Crisis Line, as the one shown in this web site. They Might be able to reffer you to other people. Please be Resourceful, You can find help.

The recurring theme I sense from your dreams is a fear of abandonment. You are constantly dreaming of the people you love dying or in some capacity you are being taken away from them. But these dreams are pretty extreme. I also agree with Thunder Bow's suggestion to call up a hot line.

I suffer the exact same issues---from childhood to my adulthood. I started as a child being abandoned, left alone, kidnapped, chased, etc. After seeking counseling from my childhood issues the nightmares are still intact. I am myself a mental health counselor but still cannot find all of the answers. What we did find though, were my abandonment issues manifesting in my dreams. However, the adulthood nightmares are seemingly "leftovers" of past unresolved abandonment. As much therapeutic work one does, and as great as we may feel sometimes, all of our issues may not be as resolved as we thought. What is most important right now is resolving some issues so the nightmares are not so bad. I have yet to figure this out, as my nightmares are now affecting my life to a point where I feel less real than I once had because of the life-threatening nature of the nightmares. I just want you to know you are not alone and what I would tell other people in my situation is to continue therapy and not to eat before going to bed. Spicy foods tend to induce nightmares, food with iron affects the brain in a way that allows our minds to unfold in the most horrifying of ways as well. Be careful and try thinking positive before bed. Maybe netflix some family guy. Good luck

The dreams mirror lack of control, and feeling abandoned. You had no control over what happened to you in your past. Seeing a therapist can help you work thorough those issues.

i get nightmares every night, i even had one where i was crucified like Jesus and had the crown of thorns on my head. my other nightmares are like a Steven King movie. i just learned to live with them, i am on clonazapam which knocks me out at around 8 every night so i don't worry about the dreams anymore, and wen i do have them, after i wake up and find out the nightmare was a dream, i have to think on it awhile if it were true or not. i can handle it better and sometimes i do have very very good dreams too,every once in a while. i am on alot of other meds too so maybe that helps too. i do have sleep apnea and sleep with a machine which helps me stay asleep at night and awake during the day. maybe you have it too?