Desperate for some rest

I do not feel that I have had any deep sleep at all since September when my beautiful daughter suddenly died. She was on life support and I lay with her while it was switched off. I expected it to be peaceful but it wasn't it was horrifying... cannot even say.
As soon as I get the dozing off feeling I'm suddenly awake. This can happen many times through the night. The only times I sleep any better is with a lot of alcohol. A few times I have drank in the middle of the night out of desperation to get some rest.
The GP prescribed zopiclone for 5 days, while it helped me to fall asleep a little sooner it made no difference at all to the continual waking up. Every waking up is a re remembering of that devastating day.
I cannot continue like this

Hi Partipoodle. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. How traumatic that must have been for you. No wonder you are having trouble getting a good night's sleep. You seem to be having flashbacks in your dreams.

Besides the sleeping meds, what counseling for trauma have you considered? In UK it is necessary to really speak up if you have a need or get a referral for your doctor. If you feel so exhausted you find it hard to continue, please reach out to the Samaritans no matter how much support NHS gives you. Samaritans |

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please consider forming a safety plan. There are ways to cope with these kinds of stress, like self care and having a safety plan in case you find yourself in a crisis of confidence. Here is more on a safety plan that includes numbers for crisis lines that serve your area. http://psychcentral.com/search/?Matc...y+plan&x=0&y=0

Here are crisis lines that can help you through crisis. http://psychcentral.com/lib/common-h...phone-numbers/ or Samaritans |

Please feel free to reply or send a Psych Central personal message to me. I am still trying to heal from the loss of my dad.