[emwell]

This last round of sickness has motivated me to quit. I just didn't know how I wanted to go about quitting. Patches, gum, lozenges, meds.... None of this appealed to me or felt right.
They say everything happens for a reason. I believe this right now.

A month ago a friend led me to a mindfulness summit.
One of the speakers led me to a local mindfulness center.
That mindfulness center led me to inquire about a research study they are doing to see if a mindfulness App can help people quit smoking.
I was chosen for the study and now have an $80 App for free.
I guess "they have an App for that"

November 13th is my anticipated quit date.
Until then I will follow the App's instructions, receive online support, and cut down the # of cigarettes I smoke each day. Maybe even find a quit buddy.
In just 1 day I learned more about my relationship to cigarettes than I ever thought was possible.

I can't wait to see where this journey brings me.

[notz]

Emwell, this sounds very promising! Please let us know how it's going.

[Georgia Bridge]

How very interesting!
Like notz says it does sound very promising.
Congratulations!

[emwell]

So far all goes well. I am doing better than I expected to do. My anticipated quit date WAS November 13th. At the rate I am decreasing the number of butts I smoke per day, I will be smoke free long before then. A few days ago this scared me, now I look forward to it.

I am not putting any pressure on my husband to follow me. He is watching and listening to me. Seeing my progress. Yesterday when I mentioned I might have to move my quit date up, he stated he was right behind me.

The first time I quit smoking I used an unconventional method. It just seems right that the last time I quit I do so as well.

[emwell]

I did move my quit date up by 1 week.

Addiction is tricky enough on its own. Add a mental health issue and who knows where it will take you.

I've smoked for over 30 years. I have been following this program for 1 week.
Today I had 2 goals.

1. smoke only 7 cigarettes
2. Ride each craving wave to the shore

this is the third day riding the wave was a goal. The first 2 days I purposely did not attempt to meet that goal. In my head that meant not getting to smoke at all. In my head I was still allowed to smoke for another week.

When I saw that I again had the same goal, I decided to go for it. I figured if today becomes my quit day, that cannot be a bad thing. I did pretty well with it most of the day. I rode each craving to the end.
Then came the craving that seemed to not end. Finally, I gave in and smoked half a cigarette.

My head immediately started screaming "You failed....You did not meet your goal....You suck.... You cannot do this....Give Up"
Luckily I have been working very hard the last few years. Although those were my immediate thoughts, I knew/realized/remembered/became aware that I did not need to feed them.
Then I had new thoughts. "You have smoked 10-20 butts every day for over 30 years. After 1 week of becoming truly aware of what smoking means to you, you smoked a half of one. Not even a whole one. How can that be called failing?" and "by smoking that half you reinforced how much smoking really does suck." "just because you smoked does not mean you get to give up and smoke again"

I just finished suppah. A big trigger for smoking. I had a choice. Listen to and feed my original thoughts and probably smoke a lot more. Or ride this new craving and don't smoke. I choose to ride already planning to smoke the other half sometime before bed.

[notz]

After meals was hard when I first stopped. Brushing my teeth helped negate the craving.

You're doing great!

[baseline]

Em way to go girl!!!! I have no doubt that you will get through this!!! Talk about will power!!! so inspired, it's cause of you I'm sticking with the work outs and healthy mindful eating!!!! Love ya girl!!!!!You got this

[emwell]

Originally Posted by notz

After meals was hard when I first stopped. Brushing my teeth helped negate the craving.

You're doing great!

Great idea thank you
I have noticed an increase in brushing my teeth the last week
But I must be aware of substituting the smoking for something else.

I do not want to replace the habit, i want it gone

[avlady]

good going and keep up the great work!!!

[emwell]

I just accepted Phreak's application to join my Support Team. Whether he wanted the job or not, he's got it.
He helped convince me that October 30th was just as good a day to quit as Halloween or November 5th.
I shall go to bed tonight Smoke FREE.

It has been a mind blowin day.
Thank you all for your support. Don't stop now. The rollercoaster still has a few loops to go through.

[notz]

I made a list of things I could do without smoking and did them to help me ride out the cravings. Brushing my teeth, taking a shower, riding bike, walking and swimming were tops on my list. They came in handy.

I avoided things that went hand in hand with smoking for me. Alcohol, coffee, driving and talking on the phone to name a few.

Congratulations on your first night without smoking!

[eskielover]

It might be something to do is add up all the money you have been just burning up with the cigarets & what you are saving by not smoking & put that money toward something you would really like...maybe during craving feelings focus on researching things you want to get with that money.

[emwell]

Originally Posted by eskielover

It might be something to do is add up all the money you have been just burning up with the cigarets & what you are saving by not smoking & put that money toward something you would really like...maybe during craving feelings focus on researching things you want to get with that money.

Good idea and Already being done.
This quit smoking App keeps track of how much I have already saved and lets me know how much I will save in just 1 month.

Money was at the bottom of my list for reasons to quit. But it can help motivate me.

[emwell]

Wicked Cool

I was bored and discovered that there is a weekly Live checkin available to me via this App's website. Usually I smoke when bored.
That means I have access to the Doctor who developed this program as well as others using it to quit smoking.

I also adopted a "sponsor". He has offered to tell me the truth when my head starts to lie to me. Thank you Phreak.and thank you Baseline, for suggesting it.

I am grateful for all the support I have been receiving. When I have my morning coffee, people in chat cheer for me because I am enjoying it without a cigarette. I am reminded of what a few days of not smoking can mean to my body. When I first log into this site, I find messages of encouragement.

Thank you all
Half Way through Day 4 and I have had No desire to kill. Then again I have been alone all day so we shall see if this lasts.

[eskielover]

Half Way through Day 4 and I have had No desire to kill. Then again I have been alone all day so we shall see if this lasts.

Lol glad you don't have a H like I had...it wouldn't take stopping smoking to make you feel that way. Glad your H is supportive. It does help to have others encouraging progress for challenges like this.

I understand health issues related to smoking. I grew up with my dad's parents being non-stop smokers & every time I went to their home I would come home sick with bronchitis that lasted for months....before they knew the effects of second hand smoke. I hated visiting with them because I related visiting them with getting sick....my parents never got it. I have never been able to tolerate being around smoke of any kind....even a smokey fireplace..& smoke from a forest fire landed me in the hospital for 10 days with a massive asthma attack. Needless to say...even trying to smoke wasn't an option for me.

It does seem the most success when it comes to stopping an addiction is self determination above all then comes the support from others.

Know you will accomplish this challenge!!!!

[emwell]

I do need to be careful with my husband. He says stuff like, "if you're going to perseverate that much, smoke." I responded by saying that was not the answer I need to hear.
This morning he mentioned buying Nicorette mini's for himself. He used them before to quit, but then they stopped selling them. They are apparently back. I did mention he couldn't quit until he smoked all my leftover cigarettes.

Today I said to him, "If I forget I quit and I smoke, does it count?" It amazes me what my brain comes up with.

[HollowRhythms]

Go Em!!! You're doing awesome, keep it up! Not an easy thing to do.

[emwell]

Every day the App gives me a goal.
Todays was "whenever you smoke, really think about what it does for you." Technically I get 2 cigarettes today.
I am ahead of schedule and am on day #5 no smokey.
I had to pick a new goal.
I picked "every time your head lies to you, Stop and Breathe"

Thanks Hollow, Eskie, Notz, avlady, Bridge, Baseline, JaGo, ToiLeT, Lover, ((((sprite)))), and every one else here and at other forums, your support means a lot.

The first thing my Therapist asked me when I told him I was quitting was, "who are you going to tell so you are accountable?"

I responded with. "The Whole World already knows."

[emwell]

Day #8 was the toughest so far. Hand surgery was the highlight of the day.
I experienced it all.... Pain, frustration, moronic drivers, miscommunication, major cravings, waiting lots of waiting, fear, pain, frustration, anger, disappointment....

If I got though Day #8 without smoking I can easily get through today.

[notz]

Kudos to you!

[emwell]

It took me a bit to figure it out, but I know what I am experiencing.
I am experiencing grief.
It may seem odd to those who have never gone through this, but I had a very long term relationship with cigarettes. Now it is gone. I think grieving might actually be normal.

[notz]

How very astute of you. Cigarettes were your best friend...

[emwell]

I arrived at my original quit date. Instead of my quitting that day, my husband did. It was day 15 smoke free for me.

I was hoping I would feel a lot better physically by now, but I do not. I am thinking it might be just me, as my husband noticed a difference in his breathing in 3 days. Maybe with the right push, someone might convince me to call my Doctor. I am pretty sure I have not formally fired her yet.

[emwell]

Do I hear 5 weeks????

[emwell]

I have been finding the time to write, just not the motivation needed to publish what it is I wrote.
Today, I published.

21 Days To Freedom