[sorrel]

A freak.
An outcast.

I can't seem to shake the sense of myself as that.

I look younger than I am, I'm nearly 40, but I look at least 10 years younger. Despite the white hairs.
This morning a school crossing lady tried to help me cross on the zebra crossing opposite the supermarket on my way to work this morning. She got a piece of my mind I'm afraid. I'm NOT a child. [Even though my abuse survivor stuff makes me sometimes seem like one...]

I have severe hyper-vigilance.
This makes strangers laugh at me.

It hurts.

I am almost 50, and the school crossing guards seem to like to do their thing for me as well. I think they are just happy to perform this little service. I doubt it has anything to do with how I look or don't look. I usually just say thanks and carry on my way. It may be that your own 'sense of yourself' as a freak and an outcast is colouring your perception of others. I hope you will find ways to be kinder to yourself.

[amante]

Sorry you are feeling this way, I am sure you are not a freak or outcast. Sending a hug your way.

[niseebear11]

Just remember that those attributes that you have that make you different are what make you beautiful.

I feel like I am a freak by the way that I act. I more-so feel like other people think I am weird and you know what?I am and I love it! Embrace it! I can't help but think of a wonderful quote from a great t.v show...Weeds...Shane is quite amazing in that he does not conform...his moms friend tells him to "let his freak flag fly" and I just loved that. Be who you are and be proud of who that person is! One thing I always try to tell myself when I feel worried or down is "don't worry about things you can't control" and it helps. I hope you feel better. if you need anything please dont hesitate to message me! I am here for you.

ps: I am epileptic so I understand being misjudged.. I had a seizure in class way back in higschool and everyone treated me like I was from outer space after it happened. People can be funny.

sending you good vibes! you are not alone. dont forget that.

Go through these to see how many apply to you: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

These articles are worth reading: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sel...9/METHOD=print

http://cmhc.utexas.edu/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html

[sun_flower]

Originally Posted by sorrel

A freak.
An outcast.

I can't seem to shake the sense of myself as that.

I look younger than I am, I'm nearly 40, but I look at least 10 years younger. Despite the white hairs.
This morning a school crossing lady tried to help me cross on the zebra crossing opposite the supermarket on my way to work this morning. She got a piece of my mind I'm afraid. I'm NOT a child. [Even though my abuse survivor stuff makes me sometimes seem like one...]

I have severe hyper-vigilance.
This makes strangers laugh at me.

It hurts.

I'm sorry that you feel this way. I know it hurts.

[DfendrOfEmilysHeart]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( sorrel )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel like a freak now and again too ... one with adequate self-esteem. I found this article helpful: http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/1752

Good luck.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thank you for sharing this.

It seems like ppl often see this vulnerability in me and it's really embarrassing sometimes.

Billi

[goldgirl]

I always felt like this. All my life. I look young for my age too and it's hard for me to act my age at times. It's nice to know that i am special and others understand

[Perna]

I still remember when a woman a few years older than I am (I was in my late 20's started a job and first day, the office was going out to a restaurant in the neighborhood for lunch and when we were getting ready to cross a road with traffic, she slammed her arm into my stomach to stop me from moving forward, stepping off the curb. I almost slugged her

I did some fast thinking and realized she had young children and it was just "habit" to her, not about me at all.