[sleepless0x]

i need advice on how to build my self-esteem. the paranoia is eating me alive. i'm dependant on makeup, and if i'm not wearing it i won't leave the house, i can't do anything, i can barely even talk to my own boyfriend. i don't want to be like this i want to be comfortable with myself..

[Soul Quake]

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[Night*Blossum]

I kinda regret the day I put on make-up :/ Now I feel so ugly without it. I don't put it on everyday but now I feel like I'm getting more and more hooked on it. Perhaps I sound a bit vain but I just feel everyone knows a difference if I don't put it on. :[

[sleepless0x]

that's the same way it is for me. i was completely against anything like that, total tomboy. my family sort of corrupted my mind, my mom is a cosmetitian and my sister is a total diva, so they both kind of taught me the ways of makeup when i liked this boy. ever since i've been putting on makeup. i have a sortof weird style, i draw on my eyebrows, so now i look like an alien. i feel like i'm getting some sort of withdrawls from makeup :s
i also sortof regret putting it on too.

[thine_self_untrue]

Hey Sleepless,

I took the liberty of looking at the pictures you posted on your profile. Hun, you are stunning. There is nothing inherently wrong with make up but feeling dependant on it is not a good thing. My first suggestion would be to maybe try some more natural looking make up techniques. I noticed you have a real 'look' going there with your bright red lipstick and thick black eyeliner. Really there is nothing wrong with that, but I imagine it might be very time consuming. The best make up enhances your natural beauty. Your eyes are beautiful. Have you ever tried wearing a light pink, bronze or purple eye shadow? You also have nice full lips that would look fantastic with just lipgloss. Even just going for either the black eye or the red lip would help tone it down and maybe save you some time. My favorite thing about make up is being able to switch it up. While the thought of going without make up might give you a panic attack, maybe going more natural will help you feel more confident in who you are underneath all that?

Really, no one can give you self confidence. It's something you have to build within YOURSELF. Think about your accomplishments. What you're good at. Where you're at and where you have been. Take even the little things and tell congratulate yourself for them. I also think it's important to have an attitude that says "I can." not "I can't..." Challenge yourself a little and hopefully you can come to trust, value and appreciate her more.

[Hazel Glitter]

I think you are gorgeous. I think that you can wing yourself off of makeup by going with a more "natural look" but I don't see anything wrong in the way you wear it now (from your pictures). When I was younger I did not even know how to apply makeup. I didn't really learn either until I was in my 20's. (I am 26 now). Now, I like to wear makeup but I keep it to a minimum. I only usually wear mascara and a light foundation to cover my pimples (unfortunately I still have those). I probably need more but I choose to just go natural. There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup but your self esteem shouldn't be dependent upon it. If someone doesn't like the way you look without it tell them not to look at you. Work on the inside

[sleepless0x]

surprisingly it's not time consuming. i can do it pretty quick. thank you for the compliments (:
i'm trying the more natural look, hopefully it can teach me to enjoy no makeup at all.
thinking of growing my eyebrows out too, so i won't be so dependant on it. just this looks is also getting me a career.

[Sunna]

Originally Posted by Soul Quake

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Thanks Soul Quake. That's pretty awesome. (did you guys click on that link?)
And there is someone in PC forums who put this worthy quote in their signature:

You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".

But we are sooo addicted to the idea that pretty is the ultimate measure of our worth. We are fearful that we are not pretty enough, strive above all to be more pretty, envious because we believe she or her are more pretty than we, we keep telling ourselves that to get ahead in life, to find love and happiness we have to be pretty. We secretely explain to ourselves the lack of happiness or success: "if only I were prettier, everything would be different".

Yesterday I read a complaint here from a young woman battling anorexia, how whenever she hears "oh, you are so pretty, I wish I was as slender as you" it just snags her right back in, reinforces the trap. She is so right! I will eat a frog before I repeat that "pretty" mind-virus again, I swear to you.

LET US JUST STOP THIS INSANITY!!!

This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung, stained with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.

“You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely 'pretty'.” Kattie Makkai (thanks Soul Quake)

[OurLadysTears]

I've taken a look at your pictures too and I think you look great with the amount of makeup you have on. You even look great in the pictures where you have less makeup on. I don't see it as a bad thing, but I can understand your frustration. I'm very dependent on makeup, but it is because I have actual flaws to cover up (discolorations, scars, etc.). I hate how cover up makes my skin feel and I hate the powdery look, but I can't go without it because I just look terrible. I feel gross with or without makeup on! But feel much less confident without. I can relate.

[TerryL]

Have you ever seen the movie "Broadcast News"? Holly Hunter plays a newswoman who has a major crush on the hunky news anchor played by William Hurt. It is stressing her out royal. Then at one point, she is so frazzled she says something like "and all this over a guy...!" I never forgot that and it put some things in perspective for me.