How to build up my self esteem so I can leave a relationship?

I`ve been venting about the relationship im in for quite some time but i feel like one of the major reasons i stay is because i dont feel good about myself and i dont tend to attract to kinds of guys that i want. my bf is a good guy but the challenges he faces on a daily basis with sz have put such a strain on the relationship that i just want to give up and be alone and take care of my own issues because i have a lot. One of my major issues is that I feel like no one else will love me. Right now me and my bf are in different cities for school and he makes less and less time for me and i already feel unloved and unimportant to him as it is so in a way it feels like being with him is pointless. I dont know if this lull in the relationship will go away and its just temporary or if it will get worst. I do my share of messing up in the relationship but apolojize to him and correct my actions. but he rarely tries to make a mends for his short comings and he has a nervous break down and Has stopped talking to me when i point out things he could have done differently. Im so tired of the relationship I just wish i could have the courage to leave. I dont believe i will ever have the relationship i want with him for so many reasons. How can i build a better self esteem, feel good about myself and attract the type of men that i want to be with?

Yes, you need a self-esteem to radiate that confident happy vibe that's so fun to be around that people flock to you like moths to a flame and then you can pick whoever you like. I think building a self-esteem is a wonderful journey like the ugly duckling's journey of discovery what a swan she really is.

BUT, you can perhaps try to detach that goal from the more immediate presence of this paralyzing fear that if you let go of bf you have, you may not find better. Such fear may be fueled by low self-esteem, but it is often rooted in a very basic lack of faith in the Universe (or in God if you prefer). It is a form of cowardice (I know, for I have been such a coward many a time in my life)

Imagine this monologue: "All I ever had was vanilla ice-cream. It's ok, I am used to it. I may like one of the other flavors, but to get them I have to give up my vanilla. But what if I don't like that new flavor, what if I don't like any other flavor, and I lost my vanilla forever? I better stick to vanilla!"

You might have heard that when we grow old, we regret not the mistakes we made trying new things, but opportunities we let slide by. Oy! We do!

Does that help?

BTW, as an item to building your self esteem. You do realize that you just described a pretty good set of relationship and communication skills, right?

thanks for the encouragement Sunna. You gave me some good food for thought that I can apply.