[Phoboxyl]

List the qualities that your ideal self would have. That's what your self esteem is based on. How much do you have each of those qualities?

[mj88keys]

My ideal self would be:
pretty
skinny
friendly
nice
well-liked
funny
interesting

I am none of those things /:

[Phoboxyl]

Hey mj, thanks for sharing. I'm not a professional but I have an idea about how to help you. Try this if you like:

1. Write down every reason you can think of why you are "lacking" in your ideal qualities.

2. Debunk these reasons systematically using the methods in CBT (I suggest you get the feeling good handbook, by dr. david burns, but you can google "cognitive behavioral therapy techniques" right now).

3. Identify legitimate reasons why you are lacking and make a plan how you can better meet your ideal by eliminating those reasons through self-improvement. For example, you might want better social skills, or to learn how to wear makeup and dress better.

[johnny67]

im at the point to where if someone spit in my face id thank them for paying attention to me.

[Phoboxyl]

Originally Posted by johnny67

im at the point to where if someone spit in my face id thank them for paying attention to me.

What is your self esteem based on johnny and why do you feel like you do not meet your ideal self whatsoever?

[coalboilermn]

I base my self esteem on my looks, my ability to do things at work very well, my ability to be able to be really good at what I do. yet, I hate my job, I hate my looks, I can't stand games that women play when your trying to find a lover. I can't deal with people, yet I long for a companion. My Dog and i were sole mates, until he passed away last weekend, and now I am lost. I don't want another dog, I want a woman, yet I don't want a woman because I can't deal with people. I am a mess and I can't be involved with someone else until i get my self together which will never happen. I am now to old to have any hope. Everything I was raised to believe to be good is gone in this world. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to commit suicide because I was raised that it would be an automatic ticket to Hell. But I don't want to live here in this world the way it is. The way I am. I can't love unconditionally because my abusive mother did not love me that way. You know how bad it is need love, yet know that you can't give it, so you have to shy away from it.

[Crew]

We base our self-esteem on how we treat people (nicely, if possible) we know we like the way we drive we no accidents (knock on wood)

Often my self-esteem is often based on what others think of me. Isn't that sick like something wrong with that answer?

Crew

[Soul Quake]

Originally Posted by Phoboxyl

List the qualities that your ideal self would have. That's what your self esteem is based on.

I disagree.

[Phoboxyl]

Originally Posted by Soul Quake

I disagree.

Why do you disagree Soul?