[jesseryn]

Hi~I've been very consumed by anxiety, the fear of non-existence, & lack of competence in the past months (ok, since I was 4). I live alone & my bf broke up with me...so my ultimate fears have been realized.

The only thing that ever helped me overcome anything was to let go of the outcome -- basically to stop controlling everything, or "give up" my expectations. Only when I reach the bottom could I start trusting again.

SO my new schtick is to do these self affirmations, listed below; personally mine are all supported by my faith & trust, but of course any sort of faith would work (eg faith/trust in self).*I think of these whenever I feel like I'm not good enough, like walking to class, etc*

***I know that other people must have some good affirmations that I'm missing, so I'm hoping that you all will be able to "share the wealth" of your self-esteem knowledge.***
[mine are in the "you" context...I forget if it's 1/2/3 context]

1. stop basing your self-worth & value on others' approval & opinions/judgments of you, & reactions to you...
2. Know that you will always be a good person no matter what you do/achieve...
3. ...& that you don't have to prove your "goodness" to yourself or others
4. know this because you have strong traits of _____, ____, _____, _____, etc. {mine: kindness, conscientiousness, intelligence, perseverance, & beauty--mind/body,etc}

***so #2 could be seen as allowing any negative behavior w/o reflecting on your wrongs, but for me it's solely about self-acceptance & trust in both my character & conscientious reflection (in #4).
****Also, #4 is kind of idealistic, so I picked what I believe that I have & fear that I'll lose, again as trust.

[Rapunzel]

Thanks for sharing your affirmations. I know that affirmations can really help, especially if you make your affirmations something within the range of what You are able to believe and accept.

Rap

[Hopefull]

I am smart (BS in biology).
I am a hard worker. I have held my job for two years and before that 3 1/2 years.
I will make it through another day. I sometimes say this when I wake up with an almost overwhelming desire to cry. I haven't had that for a while. I tend to have luck with reminders of my past acheivements as a way to remind myself of what I am capable of.
God loves me no matter what. He created me with a purpose for my life.
I am a good person and will still be a good person even if I fail to acheive my dreams. Please help me to believe this.

[Myzen]

Hi Jesseryn,

I have been pretty wary of affirmations over the years, sometimes they have felt like 'whistling in the dark'.

But - I do have a deep affirmation which has pulled me through the hard stuff, and there has been plenty of that.

My affirmation is, "I will take what comes".

I think that if we can take what comes, then that is the bottom line for all of us - hope that is not too depressing a thought!

M.

[(JD)]

how did you know I whistle in the dark?

[Rapunzel]

(not to any particular person - I'm just sharing my thoughts for anyone interested)
The thing about affirmations is they only work if they are believable for you, or at least within the realm of what you are capable of believing. For example, if you are in the pit of depression, an affirmation like "I am a happy person" is probably just going to get you to tell yourself "yeah, right" and you won't believe it or keep telling it to yourself. But you might do better starting with "It's not always this bad." Once you're feeling a little better you could probably step it up accordingly. "I will take what comes" sounds like a reassuring affirmation that you can accept and believe in, which makes it an effective one for Myzen.

[(JD)]

good point, Rap. If we tell ourselves something positive, and then counter it with a negative (as we are wont to do)... we need to then counter that with..." I might not believe it, but it's true." That puts the brain back on track, and allows it to begin to believe "itself."